"You're so cold" NO FUCKING SHIT!

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Guardfather, Aug 21, 2006.

  1. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    Anyone else go through fights with a SO because they did something to wrong you, and then hear the "you're so cold" or "why are you so cold?" complaint? What the fuck do you expect when you fuck someone over?

    It'd be one thing if I were hostile or completely uncaring. But when I begin to express why I'm so upset over what she did, and all she does is make excuses for it, you bet your fucking ass I'm going to be cold. What am I supposed to do? Bake her cookies and kiss her on the cheek for being inconsiderate and selfish?

    :madfawk:

    Part rant, part curiosity about whether any of you experience this.
     
  2. big 1

    big 1 New Member

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    She wants you to be more of a good listener, and sort things out with you. She does not want to be met with "im mad at you for this.." becasue she is looking for understanding frm you.
    She wants, in other words, a reward for her being so open and honest with you. And i suggest you calm down by taking a few deep breaths, and give the girl some comfort. If you reward her emotionally, shell reward you physically.remember that, all you men out there......
     
  3. DSAzeppelin

    DSAzeppelin New Member

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    never heard this before?

    how serious was the problem?
     
  4. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

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    So hes supposed to encourage her when she treats him bad?
     
  5. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    I do listen, but when she does something to wrong me and does nothing but make excuses for it when we discuss it, she is going to get a "coldness" from me. I'm there for her and I listen to her when I do something that upsets her. I apologize for it honestly and promptly, if I did something wrong. She did not apologize, and instead brought up old issues to excuse what she did now.
     
  6. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    Unfortunately, I've heard it many times before. It seems like any argument where my opinion differs from hers brings it out. If I disagree I'll express it. I'm not going to coddle her when I think she's wrong.


    Well, I won't go into major detail. Last night, in a heart-to-heart talk with her, I told her I'm not sure I want to be with anyone in the future (I have some loner tendencies), and asked her if she feels like I'm wasting her time because of that uncertainty. This hurt her feelings, even though I was being forthright and honest with her about how I felt.

    So where's the problem? Today when her ex called her and asked why she sounds so upset, she tells him about our little talk last night.

    Being that this guy is an immature punk, he decides to get on the computer and message me with threats, like the other 3 or 4 times she talked with him about our relationship and he then started talking shit. Now, I've gone over and confronted him about it a few times, and each time after all the "I'll kill you" "I shoot to kill" threats, he didn't even talk harsh with me. The last time we really got ugly (I had usually maintained a fairly calm but unyielding and authorative stance) we had some harsh words and when I went over to confront him, he had gotten in his car and ran.

    Now I've told her several times that I do not want her telling him about me and my life, or our relationship. If she can't handle that, I don't want to be with her. She spent 5 years with that piece of shit and he thinks he owns her because of it. I'm getting tired of his little tantrums, and she's basically motivating them.

    I'm not going to tolerate that kind of shit. If she wants to cry on that moron's shoulder, she can kindly get the fuck off of mine.
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2006
  7. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    Unfortunately that pretty much does sum it up. She seemed to be making such great progress, but it seems like anytime she's under stress, she goes into inconsiderate mode. I love her, and she can really be great, but she's so fucking weak and self-centered that I don't think I can be with her anymore. She used to lift me up and make me stronger. Now she drags me down and saps the life from me.
     
  8. DSAzeppelin

    DSAzeppelin New Member

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    wow...

    uhm, I seriously don't know what to tell ya :dunno:
     
  9. MP525i

    MP525i New Member

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    sounds like you're ready for marriage.

    j/k.

    talk to her about it when she's not stressed out. that way you get a genuine answer from her.
     
  10. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Good for you! Seriously, it's so nice to see that there are some other guys out there who don't think everything can be solved by threats or "getting some big guys to go scare someone". Props for being mature!

    And as for your gf...well, if you don't think the relationship is worth it anymore, than go ahead and end it. My honest guess would be that if she runs to her ex every time there is a fight, he might think there is a chance of breaking you two up and getting back with her.

    The threats from him are all show. He probably wants to look impressive for her. But honestly, would he really come over, shoot you or kill you over a fight? Come on!

    It sounds like there might be a difference in maturity levels between the two of you, which can be a big deal.
     
  11. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    Thanks man. Honestly, I doubt he'd get a gun and shoot me, but the first time I confronted him he got a knife and wouldn't put it down without the gf coaxing him to put it down. I was told he had a knife but I just stayed and told her to get him down to me (his apartment building). I wasn't leaving without talking to him face to face.

    He also started taking kickboxing since the last time we were supposed to meet up and he ran after realizing that he was most likely about to get his ass kicked. I wonder if he plans to start a fight after he's got some confidence from his kickboxing lessons. If he does, maybe it'll be more fun. (I've got fighting spirit in me, and I've done my share of practicing more of an MMA style) I have never once started shit with him. I don't want to fight. I want us to get on with our lives. But if he takes it to the point of fighting, I'm hoping to enjoy it.
     
  12. Solus Emsu

    Solus Emsu ****** U N R A T E D ! ****** -----THAT'S HOW I RO

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    :wtf:

    1.
    She does not want to be met with "I'm mad at you for this..." because she is looking for understanding? Understanding of how she fucked him over. What the fuck ever. :rolleyes:

    2.
    reward for being open and honest? Are you smoking crack? "I cheated on you. I am being open with you about this." "Wow, baby! I am glad you came out and told me. Come here. Everything is going to be ok. I love you so much. I have such a great girl."

    Get real. :slap:

    3.
    Give her comfort? Comfort her for fucking up? Make her ok with screwing him over? I seriously now think you are smoking something. She should be comforting him. She screwed up. Hi. I'm Earth. Have we met?

    4.
    "If you reward her emotionally, she will reward you physically. Remember that all you men out there......"

    WOW!
    Men are so simple. You seem to think that all they need is physically rewarded. That we are like dogs. It doesn't matter if you fuck up and treat a guy like shit, as long as you are putting out, right? Give me a fucking break.



    Maybe you should start being more understanding of men and that if you do screw up, it's not as simple as spreading your legs. :slap:
     
  13. Solus Emsu

    Solus Emsu ****** U N R A T E D ! ****** -----THAT'S HOW I RO

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    Seriously though. If she is still talking to an ex even after all the threats, why is she so upset with you and your uncertainties?

    Seems to me like she is the one that is uncertain. She needs to cut that ex off all together.


    This is just me and what I would do. But I would leave her. You don't need that shit.

    Just my 2 cents.
     
  14. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    Well, she "can't" right now because he's taking care of her cat because she can't bring him to live where she lives now. So she has to go back to the apartment to take care of the cat pretty often (food, litter, affection).

    And you're right, I don't need that shit. I'm fed up with it and I don't want her in my life as long as he's still in hers.
     
  15. spofoman

    spofoman Active Member

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    she's fucking her ex

    get out. now.
     
  16. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    No, she's not. I hate when people post ignorant "worst case scenario must be happening" shit like this in the vag. It can really be counter-productive.
     
  17. big 1

    big 1 New Member

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    I gave my two cents from a female perspective..and youre following everyone elses advice. If you want to follow theirs , then your relationship will end. If you follow mine, then you will fix your relationship.
    But from the sound of things, it doenst seem like you want to fix your relaitonship..it sounds like youre already over her.
     
  18. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    Yeah, I knew somebody would bust it out when I mentioned the ex. I was actually quite pleased with the fact that nobody did, until that post.
     
  19. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    I'm following my own advice. I didn't come here looking for advice, I came here ranting and asking if others have experienced this. I'll handle the situation the way I see fit. I happen to agree with some of the people who posted here about some of the issues.

    Quite frankly, your personal female perspective is garbage, as far as I'm concerned.

    A) I don't get fucking "rewarded" physically. Our sex life isn't some treat to be handed out when I decide to ignore the fact that she fucked me over.

    B) You sound like exactly the kind of woman that disgusts me. Fuck if I'm going to be with a woman who expects her man to coddle her after she does something so obviously stupid and wrong in violation of his trust.

    C) The relationship won't fail based on any advice given here. The relationship, if it fails, will fail because of the stupid shit she keeps doing and then making excuses for, rather than owning up to it and apologizing so we can get over it and get on with our lives.
     
  20. big 1

    big 1 New Member

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    So why cant you just ask her to apologize and own up to it, ?? just communicate it with her that that is wat u want? maybe shell listen to you and stop her behavior?
    sometimes girls just need a kick in the skirt....
     
  21. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    How was she so open and honest with me? I found out from her ex messaging me threatening to kill me again that she had told him about our little heart-to-heart talk. :ugh2:


    So that's how relationships work? Women just want emotional comfort, and men just want sex? :ugh2:


    I started out our conversation politely and considerately. I was very calm and cool. But the fact that she took over a minute to tell me that she had talked with him about our private conversation pissed me off. She fucked up by doing that, and she fucked up by making excuses for it afterwards.
     
  22. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    I brought up the fact that she didn't apologize and instead made excuses for it. She still did not apologize.

    And asking for an apology is not something I like to do. If it's an honest, sincere apology, it should come out on its own. I should not have to coax her into apologizing.
     
  23. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    rofl @ me getting more pissed off reading this thread.
     
  24. Solus Emsu

    Solus Emsu ****** U N R A T E D ! ****** -----THAT'S HOW I RO

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    Letting her walk all over him is not "fixing the relationship". :ugh:

    I don't know what kind of relationship you have, but I am pretty sure it is a manipulative and controlling relationship. Your idea of "fixing" a relationship is controlling and manipulating the other person so that when you screw up, you can get a away with it by using "physical rewards".

    That is not advice and that definitely is not going to fix a relationship.

    Get real.
     
  25. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    btw, I've seen videos of that guy in your av on youtube. :rofl: Dude's nuts. I think I bookmarked his page.
     

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