Your Perspective on my Ex?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Labster, Apr 13, 2007.

  1. Labster

    Labster OT Supporter

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    So my ex and I broke up a little over a year ago after being together for almost 2 years. Long story short, we got together and things were going great. We did the long distance thing, well kinda, she lived almost 2 hours away going to school and we did that for over a year. I decided to transfer to her school for various reasons but her being a major factor in that. About 3 months after I moved here we broke up. We broke up for a lot of reasons but it was her idea and she said that didn't treat her like a gf anymore and we became comfortable. Naturally I was devastated but we kept spending a lot of time together, sleeping together, having sex, etc until the summer came when she left to go to NC for the summer.

    She started dating someone during the summer and I did the same. She got home and tried to do the long distance thing with said bf but didn't work out for various reasons and I ended my summer relationship because I saw it going nowhere.

    So we move back to school and kinda spend a little time together and I meet a great girl and start spending a lot time with her and stopped really talking to my ex all together. Things kinda got serious with the other girl but fell apart at the end of the semester and the ex starts calling again wanting to hang out. So over xmas break we do and such and it's just good company but she flirts all the time and tends to bring up the past relationship and the cute things I did for her and such.

    (A little background on the ex is that I bought an engagement ring for her before we broke up, I was honestly head over heels for her and we honestly talked about a future together.)

    Fast forward to now and she keeps making comments about things and flirting and I really don't know how to interpret it. I admit to you all that I still care about her but I don't know if I want to get in a relationship with her again because I don't think I can bare to have my heart ripped out again by this girl. Is it just a control thing with her or does she think that there might be something there? Any input would be great.
     
  2. audrey

    audrey New Member

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    Sometimes it's easy to fall into old habits :dunno: Do you think her actions are just 'old habits' ?


    Do you want to get back with this girl?
     
  3. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    I think she just wants to try to keep you around. If she really loved you, she wouldnt keep breaking up with you like some hs shit. move on I think it will be for the best.
     
  4. :smile:

    :smile: New Member

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    i think it would just hurt you more in the long run. it seems she only wants you around for her own selfish needs. i also think that if you were to try and work something out with her that she would abuse her priveldges and not care that she is hurting you and just getting what she wants out of it. i'd stay away from a girl like her.
     
  5. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    She's using you as a safety net...she has history with you, and is comfortable with you. When she is going through bad times, or is lonely, she knows she can come back to you to feel better until someone else comes along.

    She's using you as a security blanket.

    Don't let her do this anymore, it will hurt you in the long run.
     
  6. I'm going to disect your post now, please bear with me, this will hurt.

    Once it's over, it's over, never take an ex back for any reason.


    When a girl has no one else in her life or she recently got out of a bad relationship, she runs to her exes to make her feel better, because she knows one of them will make her feel better.

    Long distance relationships never work out, NEVER!

    Never let a woman be the deciding factor in your life, she should play very litte to almost no role in your decisions for yourself. Unless of course it is your mother (she only wants what's best for you).

    She broke up with you because, well a few reasons. 1) You probably told her you moved for her. She knew she could play you at that point, so she did. 2) You probably reverted back to old ways of treating her, being more of a momma's boy than a bf. Anyone who gives you the you don't treat me like a gf anymore bit, is full of bullshit, unless you are beating her on a daily basis.

    You lost out not once, but twice so far.

    She was using you because she knew she wanted to fuck, or have someone around her, naturally you being her one person to use, she did. You got used a third time. At that point I'm sure you got emotional towards her or tried to.

    Glad you finally moved on. She makes the same mistake twice, doesn't she see LDR's don't work?

    Props to you for finding another girl and stopping talking about the ex altogether. It was a bad situation, to begin with, at least you stopped it.

    Well this girl disappeared while you had another one. Maybe she got the message leave me alone. All of a sudden out of the blue she hears you broke up with that other girl and bam, she's calling. Can you say she is slightly desperate? She either has been lonely for awhile, or got badly dumped and you are her emotional tampon here.

    This right here tells me that she knew she could use you. I'm sorry about that, it should have been over the first time. Tell her to keep the ring or get it back and call it a day.


    Either she's been single for awhile now or she's just trying to boost her confidence again. She doesn't care about you and it is obvious. I think at this point you shoud stop talking to her or just keep her around for your amusement, but being as you have been I don't suggest that. Don't get back in a relationship again with her, she will use you again.
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I hate when this happens. You guys were doing well but got "comfortable," and what most young people don't understand is that's going to happen. Love evolves over the years, but most people get to that point and freak out!

    Either way, I don't think it's good idsea. As someone mentioned earlier you are a sort of safety net. As usual she tried to move on, met anothe guy and it didn't work out so she immediately comes back to you because she's realized how good you had it. But the truth is if you guys got back together eventually you would get right back into your old routine and who knows how long that would last before either of you regretted it. Your trust, more importantly, would never come back.
     
  8. Labster

    Labster OT Supporter

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    Yea, I hear what you guys are saying. We talk but not on a normal basis and it's usually just about school and family and that's about it. Her mom called last week because she was buying her a new digital camera and she knew that I know a lot of stuff about that kinda thing. Her mom basically told me that she's never seen her daughter as happy as when she was with me and she's sorry that she's just now beginning to see it. Talk about a slap in the face. Oh well. I mean I know there are more fish in the sea, I'm not really worried about that. I know that I was treated like a security blanket and she has admitted as much. As for the end of the semester when we broke up, I think it was a mutual using of one another. I did it more for the sex and she did it for the emotional stability. In the end, I think it hurt both of us but moreso me. She didn't know about the ring until she saw the receipt and I never gave it to her luckily, that probably woulda been even worse but yea. I hear what you guys are saying loud and clear. If only moving on and forgetting were that easy. Thanks for the input.
     
  9. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    this board's attitude towards long distance relationships is way overboard.

    do they usually work out? no. but that's because most relationships in general don't work out either.

    i know this is just one case, but my parents were in an LDR for 6 years between ages 17 and 23. it CAN work.

    most people who break up due to LDR actually just break up because the distance often highlights flaws in their partner.
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Of course LDR's can work. I've seen them work.

    WTF did you bring this up though? skrappy is young and a little jaded already unfortunately, but most of us know that they can work. Stay on topic.
     
  11. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    sorry, i'm just tired of "they never work" as being the automatic response to any topic involving LDRs.
     
  12. Martinj

    Martinj New Member

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    We all mess up, are you going to regret not giving her the one final last chance for the both of you?
     
  13. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    i think you two need to spend some time completely apart. as in no contact whatsoever.

    you need to see what life is like without one another to be able to see your current feelings objectively. if you find yourself getting over her once you stop seeing her and being in contact with her, then she's not the one for you.

    if you can't get over her and you're convinced that you two are both ready for a higher level of commitment, then try it. but realize that you might be hurt again.
     
  14. Being jaded has it's benefits. The problem that I saw from what he said is, his long distance relationship had it's flaws and it was clear, he chose to ignore it.

    Edit: LG you take a lot of shots at people younger than yourself, I would have liked to meet you at my age, you probably wouldn't have said what you are saying now.

    Stay on topic.
     

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