Knowing that your parents tried to do the best they could for you, but they failed pretty miserably because they weren't raised in the very good conditions themselves. They have actively tried to become less negative, critical, and verbally abusive over the past 5 years or so, but there is nothing else there to replace it. One part of me feels guilty for rejecting their honest to goodness attemps at trying to form a relationship, but another side of me is bitter that they are trying to do now what they never did for me when I actually needed it. Another side of me feels sorry for them, because their attempts are so pitiful and I hate to say it but I kinda enjoy seeing them feel stupid when I totally ignore their rare attempts at friendly conversation. What sucks is that this shit still flows over into other relationships. I donno, I was a pretty sensitive kid, but now I think I'm pretty fucking cold. Its sucks realizing that I've basically become what I hate, despite my best efforts to the contrary, and that my parents were probably in the same boat, yet feels impossible for us to reach any sort of understanding.