SRS Yay! A Relationship!?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Cakayaka, Sep 24, 2008.

  1. Cakayaka

    Cakayaka New Member

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    I started dating one of my best friends like 6 months ago, I'm in college, it was awesome at first. We hung out constantly, hooked up constantly, everything was money. We left for the summer, everything was still fine. The minute we got back to school, I feel like it just stagnated. She is a great girl, but I don't really feel all that excited anymore to be around her. I don't know if it is because we are stressed with class or what... but, everytime we hang out, I feel like it is a chore. I feel like she is kind of needy and it drains me. Any advice on how to fix this? Am I overreacting? Let me say that she is still one of my best friends and we have NUMEROUS mutual friends so... "cut all ties" doesn't exactly work...
     
  2. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    You don't necessarily have to cut all ties, but you do either need to fix it, or let it go.

    The honeymoon phase is over, it generally lasts about six months or so. Then when it wears away you two see each other and the situation for what it really is, and it doesn't seem to be working for you. I

    If you're interested in fixing it, figure out what is really bothering you about her/the relationship, and sit down and let her know what's up and that you need to work on things.

    If you want to let it go, then do so now. No need to prolong things and string her along if you're not feeling it.
     
  3. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    College is not the time in your life where you "make a relationship work". It's a time to have fun and enjoy your life.

    You already know what you need to do, do it. Shit or get off the pot. Either spice it up or break up with her.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Sounds like you guys are smothering each other (or according to you she is smothering you). You need to sit down with her and have a talk. Adult relationships go nowhere without open communication with one another. As previous friends I'd think your communication skills would be strong but I'm sure you are nervous about pointing out her flaws.

    You need to sit her down and explain that you care about her but notice you do spend a lot of time together and it's great, but you'd like to have a little bit more time to yourself because you're stressed from school, miss certain friends, etc. She'll possibly be hurt but it's ok, that's normal. Plan a date night for once a week so that she and you have something to look forward to. Say each week you trade off who plans what you do; whether it's dinner, movie, etc. etc.

    At the same time you do need to get out and hang with friends or do whatever it is you need to de-stress.

    If she takes this badly or say it all backfires and even with more time apart you find yourself not feeling the same about her then you need to break up. Viper is right about one thing, college is a time for fun and most serious relationsihps fail. If you feel your relationship is failing then do her and yourself a failure by ending it and not just dragging it out because you "feel bad" or because you were once great friends.
     
  5. Cakayaka

    Cakayaka New Member

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    Thanks for the advice.
     

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