xapuim's thread made me think: What do you do when you don't like your GF's friends?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Feb 8, 2010.

  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I know I spelled your name wrong but that's how I say it in my head.

    A girl I dated in college was really cool, but I couldn't stand any of her friends. I didn't know what to do, so I pretended to like them while we were in college.

    It was really weird.

    My gf was smart, classy, etc. Her friends were ghetto. I have no idea why they were friends.

    Luckily for me, after college she started moving up in the world and stopped talking to the friends that I hated, and got cooler friends. This was good for me cuz I didn't have to pretend to like them anymore. It wasn't really that I hated them, it was just that we had nothing in common. I'm sure the feeling was mutual, but I didn't give a crap.

    So anyway, have any of you ever been in this situation? What do you do? Did you pretend to like them? Did you flat out refuse to hang out with them?

    Discuss.

    I would take this thread on two tangents about social phenomenons right here that are related to this topic but I am literally falling asleep at the keyboard and I don't have the time to do so. Lucky you guys.
     
  2. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    My last SO and I both had friends the other hated and we didn't really do anything to hide it. I tolerated the annoying friends because I knew they were important to him and he did the same for me. It never really became a big deal since we both avoiding making the other spend time with the annoying friend :dunno:
     
  3. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    The only friend's of my ex's that I ever didn't like were dudes that were into her as more than friends. And in those cases I would just sit her down and talk to her about my concerns. Never really had a problem with anyone else, but I'm really a pretty laid back guy when it comes to shit like that. Unless the person is disrespectful or actually tries to get on my nerves, they aren't going to bother me.
     
  4. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    My husband doesn't have many friends and those he has I don't mind associating with, it's not that often so I can handle it.
    Although he has one friend who's wife I cannot stand. So much so that i refuse to go over to their house as I just can't handle dealing with her. We refuse to have them here because we can't stand her. My husband can't understand what his mate sees in his wife, but accepts he loves her and she is part of the package - he is better at dealing with people than i am :) i can't fake it as good as he can.

    Is best friend is more like a brother and like most brothers fucking annoying. I don't mind him when it's just him or his wife, but when he gets around other people he's a fucking moron. He has blocked me on facebook because i call out his fucked up behaviour so often. I don't understand people who have different hats for different circle of friends.
     
  5. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    I just don't hang out with them much if I don't like them. Just like I don't expect my gfs to hang out with some of my more annoying friends.

    I'm like George Castanza in that I've always tried to keep my different worlds separate.



    And FYI my name is right. The ! is supposed to be an i :o
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I've always dated the same kind of guy, who hung around the same circles of friends I did. So no, I've never had this problem.

    A GEORGE DIVIDED CANNOT STAND!
     
  7. Capt. Slow

    Capt. Slow Member

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    I always tell my SO straight up that I do not like them. It has worked out well for me, as I do not need to try really hard to be nice; Don't be a jerk, and treat them alright. After I have told my SO's they try to hang out with the friends I don't like when I am not there, but I don't shy away from events they attend.
     
  8. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I bet that was a clusterfuck, am i right?

    Either:

    1) The chick will think you are insecure

    or

    2) The chick will deny it "pssh, they're just my friends", but she actually knows they want her and secretly loves it (eg. she's an attention whore)


    It's fail either way.
     
  9. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    :roflw:

    :hs:

    She eventually realized I was right when every dude I warned her about eventually made a move on her and then I put my foot down. It took some time, but she came around. She finally realized the attention she got from them was less important than the attention she was getting from me.

    Next time I get into a relationship I'm not gonna wait around for her to get there though. I want a woman who doesn't need attention from other men.
     
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2010
  10. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    :werd:

    I have two main groups of friends: with one of them, I'm a little more crazy/partying, and with the other ones, I'm a bit more mature (which is how I actually am). but it's a subtle shift.

    Mostly it's because the first group is more apt to go out and party, close down the clubs, and the second group is more apt to have people over at their homes, or chill at a bar and talk.

    The older I get, the more I like the latter group better. They're all college friends and we're all the same age.

    But the first group thinks the second group is "boring" and the second group thinks the first groups is "too crazy."

    I'm like where they overlap if it were a venn diagram :mamoru:

    It's actually strange, because with the first groups I'm like the more mature person (usually), and with the second group, I'm more of the partier (relatively speaking). Think about that for a sec.
     
  11. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    This is my reason for doing so also. I don't really wear different hats. It's just that I've found over the years that certain friends don't mix well with other friends. So I keep them separate.
     
  12. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    [​IMG]


    IB the women here start defending chicks who want attention from other men as part of the global conspiracy amongst whores to always rationalize whorish tendencies to other men :bowrofl: It's funny how chicks are catty and can't get along, yet they all have this in common :bowrofl: :bowrofl:
     
  13. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    :mamoru:
     
  14. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    hmmm.... ive never dated a girl whose friends i didnt like.

    except for two RS all of mine have lasted for 2 months or under. so i dont really get to know friends well.

    my first LTRS she pretty much had no friends.

    my current one all her friends are cool.
     
  15. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    When it comes to a SO's friends that I dislike, I'm pretty vocal about it. My ex once told me that the thing he liked most about me was how "real" I was in that I didn't bullshit and put up with ridiculous people just for the sake of 'being nice'.

    On the other hand, I have had to deal with my ex's younger bro (he's 18) who is a complete and utter idiot/douchebag. I was always nice to him because although my ex is free to choose his friends, he can't choose his family. Despite my attempts to go OUT OF MY WAY to accommodate his brother (buying him birthday gifts, driving my SO an extra 45 minutes from my house to his brother's college town to suprise him when he started college, then dropping him there for hours while I entertained myself to give them brother bonding time), he always went out of HIS way to be rude and nasty towards me.

    My ex brushed it off as "that's how he is to everybody" and that I should just lash back out at him as I would anyone else.

    I had a big problem with this because to me family is sacred, and there HAS to be some sort of effort on everyone's part to get along. I don't mind telling some Schmoe to shove it when he becomes rude, but I can't help but feel like it's not appropriate to bicker with a spouse's family, especially a younger brother.

    Worst part is my ex refused to address the situation with his brother (he's very non-confrontational), and thus left me to just 'suck it up' and be miserable everytime we were around him.
     
  16. kopetzki

    kopetzki Banned

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    radfad I feel you on the ex's brother issue. My ex, her brother practically ruined our relationship, and all we could do was pretty much put up with it. Theres not much else you can do when family is involved.

    Back story : He came to visit us in Florida one day after he just got out of juvie, he was 16 at the time and had been in and out of juvie for the past 4 years. He proceeded to rob our landlord the next day, steal his gun, run his coin collection through the Coinstar at the publix, and trash our place so it would look like he didn't do it (it was an end unit of the guys house). We ended up evicted from that place because of it (was a sweet deal, rent was 400$ a month with everything included utilities, cable, high speed internet) That started a process of the next 2 years of shuffling him from family member to family member and back to courthouse. Nobody wanted him and he end up stuck living with us in our new place where he didn't have a job, dropped out of high school and was just hanging out at home all day. This continued until her mom decided to move down to Florida to take care of him but he liked us better so he continued living with us :hsugh: We'd always bicker about him and it would boil down to "he's my brother and nobody wants him! i have to take care of him" The kid liked cooking and fishing so at least we always had food, dude made a mean fried shark.
     
  17. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    that kind of shit is when you know someone is truly and irredeemably fucked beyond all hope.

    To destroy something someone cared about for pennies on the dollar on even the non sentimental value.... wtf.
     
  18. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!!! ACCORDING TO THE VAG, PEOPLE CHANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    When you say "coin collection" do you mean like rare coins, or just coins laying around?

    Putting rare coins through a coinstar = :rl:


    I'd be so fucking pissed.
     
  19. kopetzki

    kopetzki Banned

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    No, it was the guys coin collection he had been collecting it since he was a teenager, rare US coins, silver, gold dollars etc. etc. They ended up retrieving most of them from the machine where he had ran them through. And yeah i was fucking pissed because the next place we got was 700 with no utilities included and it was difficult for me to make rent while i was in school and it created problems between me and her. Although i have to admit, the kid changed for the better, he got his shit together after he got out of jail, got his GED, finished Welding school and is making pretty good money now for an 18 year old, more than me and i have a college degree :rofl:
     

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