SRS WTF am I sposed to think ?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Rodthrower18, Sep 28, 2006.

  1. Rodthrower18

    Rodthrower18 New Member

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    As some of you know im dating a woman with a child. Last night when she was drunk(shes hyper honest when shes drunk) she starts telling me all of this stuff about being independent and falling hard and fast but not having the energy to commit to a relationship. Every road block she threw up ended up with her saying "I know ur not like that " or "but i know ur ok with that" or sumthing that negated HER OWN PREVIOUS STATEMENT!!!! So right now I don't know wtf is going on. She said also "Right now I can see myself being married and in a family and that making me perfectly happy ...but its hard to put my feelings into words right now " So im still confused as shit and hoping i can see her tonight so we can talk it out soberly. Someone PLZ give me something to say when I see her tonight.

    edit:obviously tell her how i feel but i need help gettin it all into perpective b4 i go over there.
     
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2006
  2. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    Tell her she needs to get some self control instead of getting loaded, then add "but you already know that". ;)

    You can't put much stock into the ramblings of a drunk, if she does this pretty often perhaps she has an alcohol problem.
     
  3. Kortiz-DZ

    Kortiz-DZ Resident Nigerian Lipper OT Supporter

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    Hah...

    10bucks she says everything she said was because she was "drunk" and not because the "truth" comes out when she's drunk.
     
  4. durondude

    durondude OT Addict

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    I seriously say if she drinks often then either tell her to go to rehab and stick through it or leave while you still can. Seriously, if you're bothered by it don't stick around too long only to find out you've stuck around too long. By then it'll be harder to just leave.
     
  5. Rodthrower18

    Rodthrower18 New Member

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    It's not a frequent thing. This was her first time goin out with her friend in a lil over a month and she only drinks when she goes out. After thinkin about it a lot i think her friend might've had a part in all of this shit(friends single), whenever she does actually go out she'll still text me and call me and shit, and i think her friend mightve put one of those "girl u need to ejoy being single" bugs in her ear, bc everything was fuckin gold up till last night. We had talked once on not wanting to get too serious too fast but never anything like this. It still confuses me that she contradicted herself at every turn. Im starting to think shes scared of wat we have the potential to become otherwise there was absolutely no reason for her to even mention being settled down and married. It's so fucking confusing, this shit is ricockulous, thx for the replies thus far yall.

    edit: I also told her flat out if she didnt feel anything for me and doesnt want to be with me then thats fine and i can leave TWICE and she refused to say it bc " I can't say that, that
    s not what I want but...its so hard to put my emotions into words right now" and she acted like she was starting to tear up. I also think i made a huge fucking mistake by tryin to have a conversation THAT serious with her while she was drunk but it just bothered me a lot to hear her sayin this shit that i couldnt let it go.
     
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2006
  6. johan

    johan Active Member

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    We don't really do anything drunk that we didn't wish we could do when sober.
     
  7. Rodthrower18

    Rodthrower18 New Member

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    That's the thing thats botherin me, liquid courage. So basically shes been wantin to say this, but im still blurry on what she actually fucking said. I mean seriously she went from "when I fall in love i fall fast and hard" to "i dont know if i have the energy to commit like that" to "right now i can see myself being settled down and married with a family and that making me completely happy but at the same time...i dont know " We went in one big fucking circle.

    edit: O yea i forgot to mention the good ol "I love spending time with you and i totally respect the way you are with my daughter" part of it to so its like she wants to be with me but somethin is holdin her back.
     
  8. durondude

    durondude OT Addict

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    Well it looks like you just gotta sit down and have a sober conversation. Work things out. I agree with johan about the drunk talk. I mean if she's just holding back when she's sober that isn't good anyways.
     
  9. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Typically these obfuscations and refusals to be clear...are in fact quite clear. She knows how she feels. And more to the point, she knows how she DOESN'T feel.

    And she's not feeling it for you. At least not to the level you would like reciprocated back to you.

    My best guess, at the point, is that she likes you, enjoys being with you, but only up to a certain point.

    She does not feel that you are the One, and she hesitates to commit, instead offering facile excuses about being unable to define how she really feels. No shit, if you could read her mind love what a tale her thoughts could tell


    Errr, anyways, regardless of her behaviour, decide for YOURSELF what you want from her. Don't base your actions on what she is willing to give you.

    What do YOU want? What do you want in your life?

    Then decide if she fits into that life that you have decided upon. Refuse to settle. Refuse to have your life be defined by the scraps another person deigns to let dribble your way.

    If she continues on with the...ummm, I dunno.... how long will you wait for her to "make up" her mind? Cause brother, her mind's already made up. And some part of you realizes this.



    Now, she could change her mind and come round...but the longer you let it drift aimlessly, the less likely she'll suddenly see the true value in your relationship,

    ...... and the more likely she'll continue treating it like the comfortable, but temporary shelter it is...a thing to be discarded when something truly hot comes around.
     
  10. Rodthrower18

    Rodthrower18 New Member

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    Thx Johan. I'm tryin to see her tonight so we can settle things. Part of me does realize it but i dont want to acknowledge it(i guess i just did). I'm the type that hates to give up on anything whether it be a project car or a relationship, but once I finally have I don't go back to it. If she walks away from my heart now she walks away forever, that's always been my rule and the one time i broke it it led me down a VERY self destructive path. If things are over tonight they're over. Will I be heartbroken ? Yea. Will I go and drink tonight away and start anew tomm(i know its not healthy but come on give me sumthin here)? Yea. Will I continue to search for my "the One"? Maybe.
     

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