SRS Wow... for real? Yes another trouble in paradise thread T__T.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Redneck Shinobi, Jul 17, 2007.

  1. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    Ok I'll try and make this quick.

    I've been dating this girl for 8 months now. Around the 3 months we had issues, we stopped talking for 3 days, but things got back to normal. She was worried about me having to travel back to Ontario to live. So it caused obvious tension on our fresh relationship. Anyway things were going fine, or so I thought.

    So the past few weeks, this guy was messaging her like "when are you on msn" and she had told me about him in the past. They had sex together the first time they met. At the beginning of our relationship this also hurt my confidence when she repeatetly said I wasn't as good. Well now he's coming back in her life and for reasons she doesn't know or won't tell me she wants to meet him. I am very uncomfertable about this and the only way I even knew about this was by her facebook. She had logged into her account from my laptop and it saved the password. We have basically the same display picture so I didn't even know I was in hers till I checked the Inbox since it had 1 new message... well guess who it was from... Aparently they were suppose to meet on the weekend, but she was "tooo busy". She also said if she didn't have to go to the island this weekend they would meet up. She did this all behind my back because she says she was trying to "not hurt me". I am hurt... I've told her how hurt I am but I'm really hurt. She claims it wasn't for anything bad, but I can't see past who he is and was to her. I don't believe they were "friends".... I just don't know what to do and I just need a place to vent. I am really hurt right now and I am not sure what to do. :wtc:
     
  2. mrchina

    mrchina Guest

    Dump her.

    Edit: Long answer... dump her. She is going behind your back to meet up with a guy she's had sex with within the first encounter, telling you you're bad at sex, and you are going to let her play you for a fool if you continue to go out with her. Don't even keep up a friendship with her.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 17, 2007
  3. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    She has disrespected you in one of the worst ways possible.

    What was your reaction?

    If you continue to stay with her after this, you are disrespecting yourself.

    Remember, she banged this guy the first day they met.

    She has a powerful sexual attraction to him. He has power over her, he can do anything to her he wants.

    She's gonna fuck him. Do you want a gf who fucks other guys?

    This is another way she is disrespecting you.

    This is a bullshit excuse.

    She did it behind your back because she thought you wouldn't find out.

    Actions, not words.

    She is basically trying to have the best of both worlds. Most likely the other guy is not available to her in a relationship.

    So she wants to have you for the emotional tampon, and him for the wild, hot sex.


    If you don't dump her, you have no respect for yourself.

    Man up. Would you rather be alone, or with this shitty woman who has no problem treating you like a piece of dirt?

    And as soon as it suits her, she will dump you, I guarantee it.

    Don't stick around for more pain!
     
  4. goobarr

    goobarr pho king naice

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    My advice would be similar to this, you don't need to be treaded upon. Man up, dump her and don't get into contact with her.

    Easier said than done, but it'd be for the best when you look back.
     
  5. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    When did men start making decisions based on them being easy?

    A man selects the proper course of action and follows it through, regardless of how difficult it is.
     
  6. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    sorry dude this girl is a bitch dump her stat
     
  7. maskednegator

    maskednegator Kosmonaut, best we've got...

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    ditch the cunt.
     
  8. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    This seems like a general concensious.. :X... I'm gonna be meeting with her after work so I'm gonna let it all out. I have a feeling I am making this more bias then it might actually be, but I posted the way I feel about the situation. She claims they were friends before and she wants that again. I can't look past the fact that they fucked the first time meeting. Also the fact they were going to meet around his house because she wanted some pizza from this place around there... It just keeps playing in my mind. She knows im working Overtime all this week and weekend and she clearly played on it. I mean I have no huge problem with her having male friends. I would be a bit jealous if she spent more time with them or things got weird, but this is just... I dunno. I think I have to dump her.

    Even if I was to stay there is only ever going to be a trust issue. I will never trust her again. I was cheated on in my last relationship and I told her hundreds of times before we went out how I felt about that, and that she could just even kiss a guy and I'd be gone. This seems worse than a kiss actually...:ugh:
     
  9. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    You can't listen to her words, they will lead you astray.

    You have all the information you need.

    If you don't dump her right now, you have no respect for yourself.

    Forget her words, watch her actions.

    Her actions say "I have low romantic interest in you, but I'm using you for my own purposes."
     
  10. Gibles

    Gibles the funny thing about my back is....

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    save yourself from more grief in the future and just end it now
     
  11. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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  12. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    lol I came really close to breaking up with her the day of this post. We ended up meeting after I got off work and she was with her sister (which is and isn't unusual..) We went and talked and things got pretty heated at that point. She didn't know why we were fighting about it again. I explained why we were fighting about it again.

    I maybe gave her too much time to think of excuses and explanations. She didn't know why she couldn't be friends with him. Told her sister the story but neglected to fill her in about the fucking part... So it makes me look like a control freak now... In the end I wish I said nothing and waited to see what would have happened and caught them. Now I'm just left wondering...

    Even with all that said, I am assuming she is going to cheat. She hasn't given me any real reason for her to cheat. I do believe and trust her in that department because, she hasn't done it yet. It's never good to think someone is guilty before they are proven it.

    She admitted that her actions were wrong and she was going to tell me about it when the meeting was set up and I'd be invited. She agreed to not see him. It probably sounds worse, but she is pretty innocent. Like she never intends for something to be bad, it just comes out that way. She doesn't really think before leaping. I guess in her mind she sees it as innocent whereas guy's totally know whats going on. I'm gonna stay and just play it out. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

    Cliffs: Ended up staying with her.. Read novel above if you wanna know why... or yell at me with quotes lol.
     
  13. kingtoad

    kingtoad OT Supporter

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    Time to move on, man.
     
  14. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    you are fucking up bad
     
  15. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    Ya I'm pretty much fucked lol...
     
  16. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Judge by actions, not words.

    I agree entirely with this Yail's summary.

    My only addition would be that you should nail her one last time. This is not a flip answer, it simply is what I would do.

    But you do need to dump her. And yes, DUMP.
    Not break up, not leave peacefully, not explain explain explain.
    It will be good for your confidence and self esteem to have sex with her, and then dump her.

    Up till now, you've let her have all the power in the relationship.
    That needs to change. And this relationship needs to end.
     
  17. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Having been in your situation before, I feel like I understand what is going on.

    You likely feel that you can't replace this girl. You don't know how to go about dating other women, so you are clinging desperately to the one option that you have.

    The problem is, she knows all of this, and she is using it to her advantage.

    She keeps you around for the attention and nice things you give her.

    What you don't give her is ORGASMS. That's where the other guy comes in.

    He has no interest in giving her time, attention, cuddling, nice treatment, etc.

    He just wants to show up periodically and fuck her brains out.

    If you continue on this path, you will end up raising another man's kid. He'll knock her up, and she will tell you that it yours.
     
  18. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I stopped reading here. Dump her.
     
  19. maskednegator

    maskednegator Kosmonaut, best we've got...

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    wow dude, i've never heard you give advice like this before.
     
  20. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    I don't know how you live with yourself everyday if you're dating someone who has repeatedly told you that some random guy she slept with the first time they met was better than you in bed. I don't think I could even stand to look at someone if they told me that once, let alone multiple times.
     
  21. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    well she only said it a few times at the beginning of our relationship. She never mentioned it after that. Everytime I brought it up after she goes quiet... I dunno what to feel anymore to be honest. She has gone behind my back a few times, but this seems the worst. A part of me wants to trust her, but another part can't let go of this fact.

    It's not that I don't think I can find someone else or am stuck at all. I know I can get up and walk away whenever I want, I am just a forgiving person. If she sees him or does anything like this again, I won't let it go again. Like I said before, Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. So if it happens again it will be my fault. It will be the last time that happens. Maybe I need to learn this lession myself I just want to believe it's not like every other cheating thread I've read... But the signs are all there lol.
     
  22. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    either open the relationship.. or dump her

    she doesn't want to be monogamous with you. so why do you want to be monogamous with someone against their will? not like it's possible anyways.
     
  23. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    LOL thxs XD I'm sure It'll be sometime. LOL I used to get mad at people for not listening to my advice when I used to dish out a lot of it, but I realized that people won't listen, they have to learn it themselves. I'm a hypocrite but I know this so I guess that makes it worse lol.


    and JohnJohnJohnson ya, she claims that's not it. That they were just meeting to catch up. I doubt she would cheat on me physically it just seems more emotionally. She isn't that type, at least what I believe... Either way I'm 99% screwed and 1% chance of it all being a misunderstanding.. maybe less than a %...
     
  24. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    You are allowing her to disrespect you.

    Which means you don't respect yourself.

    When I look back on my extensive bad relationship experience, I only regret the times I DISRESPECTED MYSELF (by allowing her to disrespect me).

    And by tolerating it, you are basically condoning it and doing it to yourself.
     
  25. johan

    johan Active Member

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    When you see something happen a thousand times in a row, like watching the sun come up, it's no big thing to shrug and say, the sun will come up tomorrow.

    Someone watching their first sunrise probably won't believe you. He'll fight it.
    He'll say how the hell do YOU know what the sun will do?
    Maybe the sun was just friends.
    Maybe that was the sun's first time.
    Maybe you don't know anything about MY sun.

    So to them I just shrug and say, your choice. Stick around, and you'll see the sun come up.
     

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