Wow, does this pain ever stop?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Sybian, Feb 26, 2008.

  1. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    6,218
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Making my triumphant return to the Vag and its about the same old shit...

    I never got over my ex. It haunts me everyday. The last time I saw her was August. We sexed and everything was wonderful but then she got on a plane and went back to her hometown. Now she doesn't want anything to do with me and I don't know what to do. I haven't met anyone else. I drink and smoke more than I ever have.

    I'm okay during the day, or when I'm around people but once I'm alone my thoughts are consumed by her.

    I'm sick of feeling this way, and those that know me are probably tired of hearing about this shit.

    Confused. Help.
     
  2. Yahdude

    Yahdude New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2006
    Messages:
    1,211
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    PC, UT
    6 months and you're still this consumed? Might be a good idea to seek professional help, it would probably much more productive than asking around here and working on it yourself.

    Good luck to you, shitty place to be...especially for a fellow 661'er
     
  3. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    6,218
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Things may be a little different if I had someone else. But when I step to other chicks I just let them go. The opportunities are few and far between but when they do present themselves, I don't do anything with it.
     
  4. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    65,736
    Likes Received:
    503
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
    This is a huge part of the problem right here.
     
  5. Emfuser

    Emfuser Nuclear Moderator Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2002
    Messages:
    83,907
    Likes Received:
    464
    Location:
    Irmo, SC
    You're never going to get over her for as long as you continue to dwell on her. NOTHING will happen until you actually accept that your relationship with her is over, and that you must move on. Yes it will be painful, but it's necessary to face reality instead of clinging to wishful thinking and memories.
     
  6. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2000
    Messages:
    18,745
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Toronto
    You are 'choosing' to dwell on her, and pity yourself over it as well. Quit acting like a victim.... It wasn't meant to be, end of story; quit drinking and smoking and get a gym membership, go socialize and quit fucking whining.
     
  7. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    4,994
    Likes Received:
    0
    You aren't getting over her because your life is slowly coming to a halt. Recovery is based on inertia. If you're starting to base your life around drinking and smoking BECAUSE of her, you're basing your life on her. Long after it stops mattering why you started drinking she'll still be in control of your life.
    Just keep going, keep yourself healthy, and one day she will just be gone.
     
  8. Elphaba

    Elphaba New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2006
    Messages:
    1,002
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Raleigh, NC
    I really like that part, and think it says alot. Moving, in any direction, is the best thing you can do for getting over someone. I dont really think it matters a whole lot where your "moving" to (new hobby, new goal, etc) as long as its healthy.
     
  9. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2005
    Messages:
    20,480
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    i see you are never going to grow a pair of balls :)
     
  10. 2angelmd

    2angelmd New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2008
    Messages:
    322
    Likes Received:
    0
    Drink less, smoke less. Maybe seek a few sessions with a MFT or counselor. Hang out with your friends more.

    Realize that at some point (7months) it is absolutely without a doubt absurd to still be caught up with her and move on despite your feelings.

    By move on I mean don't just let the girls go that you step to.

    It's hard sometimes, but eventually you're gonna have to man up.
     
  11. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    6,218
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Now that I'm actually in a better frame of mind than I was in last night let me say a few things.

    I drank and smoked anyway, primarily because I'm bored and have nothing else to do. I actually do have a new hobby, I'm learning to play guitar. But when its late at night, and I'm alone, or in the shower, practically anytime I'm left with my thoughts, they head straight back to her. I'm not sure I want anyone else either. Sure I'd love to get laid, but I'm not really feeling any of the women out here.
     
  12. Master Splinter

    Master Splinter OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2007
    Messages:
    1,135
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Illinois
    Nothing wrong with drinking and smoking but if you are obsessing over a chick those two won't help you out, especially if you do them alone.

    Go out with some friends and just do something fun to get your mind off things for a while, a new hobby is great.

    Not feeling any other women out there, are you giving them chances or just dooming any chance of anything good from the start by thinking they'll never measure up to your ex? Keep trying to meet someone new, eventually you'll find someone as good or better, the old saying there are plenty of fish in the sea is 100% true.
     
  13. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    6,218
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Someone is usually around when I drink. So I guess that makes it better. Never really saw anything wrong with drinking alone though.

    I don't really doom things from the start with new women, I just don't really talk to them because I don't want them. They're great to look at and I like I said, sex would be okay, but I don't really want anyone else long term.
     
  14. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2007
    Messages:
    12,589
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    THE Hawkeye Nation
    drinking alone in public (at a bar) is the best way to meet chicks. it leaves you with no option but to talk to strangers, and i only talk to women @ bars kuz im not gay.
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    :werd: Perfectly put.
     

Share This Page