Last year I went away to AIT school (Army school you go to after basic training that teaches you about your job within the army). Day one I met this guy who got there the same day I did and we hit it off. Just as friends at first, we both bonded with a group of about 8 friends. Fast forward about 5 weeks when we get more privileges (can leave the base, drink, stay out overnight, etc.), and the attraction grew and we basically spent every spare moment together. People started recognizing us as a couple. Things progressed and it turned physical. We messed around a lot and slept together once. Right around that time, I found out (through facebook, heh) that he had a GIRLFRIEND back home. Now, this guy had managed to not mention his girlfriend to me or any of our other good friends (most of them guys) for what was now like 7 or 8 weeks... I confronted him about it and basically he told me that he really liked me and was sorry he was such a scumbag about the whole thing, but that things with him and his girl were "rocky at best" and that things were "basically over". He said they only talked like once every two weeks now and they both knew things were 'coming to an end'. He said he just didn't have the guts to tell her/hurt her since they had been together for 3 years before he left for the army. I told him that I liked him too but that I wasn't comfortable helping him cheat on his girlfriend. He said he understood and that he would let me know how the breaking up was progressing. About a week after this talk we made out a couple more times when we were drunk at a bar. We had a talk about his gf AGAIN, nothing had changed, so I really cut it off. It was weird because we were both part of the same circle of friends but when we went out I tried my best not to pair off with him like I'd done before. By this time everyone found out about his gf and the general reaction was shock (because everyone knew about our relationship and it came from left field that he was cheating). We went out one night and another guy approached me and asked for my number/to take me out sometime. I gave it to him and in the cab ride home with everyone the cheater guy made a big scene about how I'm a bitch for doing that in front of him (wtf, he had a gf!). So what little hope of a friendship we had was soured that night. Things were just awkward for weeks with us until we graduated and went our separate ways. Now he lives on the other side of the country and is still with that same girl... and they just got ENGAGED. I told this story to a friend of mine the other day and her immediate reaction was that I "have to tell that girl before she makes a huge mistake and marries him." I told her it wasn't my business especially since I'll probably never see the guy again. She asked me wouldn't I want to know the kind of guy I was marrying, especially since he's military now and will probably be faced with being apart like that for long periods of time again. Now I'm conflicted. I really don't care about salvaging a friendship with the guy because he's scummy... but we do have a lot of mutual friends that might turn on me if they think that I'm intentionally trying to ruin his relationship to get back at him or something. I don't really feel the need to lash out at him, I just feel kind of bad for the girl if she doesn't know what she's getting herself into. The guy comes off as a really genuine, sweet, guy... but it obviously good at hiding things. Anyways I think I've decided NOT to tell her because it might add unwanted drama to MY life, but it still lends me to see what others think about the situation. I'm especially curious to hear what the men here have to say about the situation... If the roles were reversed and your gf had gone away and cheated on you in this sneaky manner, would you want the other guy to come forward if he found out you two were going to get married? So... would you want to know as the fiance? And would you tell as the person in my shoes? CLIFFS: Guy went away to Army training, portrayed himself as single when he had a gf back home and cheated. He went home to his girlfriend and now they're engaged.