would you pass up your dream job for your s/o

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by uf20wop, Feb 1, 2008.

  1. uf20wop

    uf20wop OT Supporter

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    so i had an interview with a couple different companies yesterday

    company 1: close to where gf lives and works, boring as hell, less money

    company 2: 1.5 hrs away from home & gf, it's practically everything i could want in a job, more money, designing jet engines, and one of my best friends works there

    dilemma: i proposed me & gf move in together somewhere 1/2way in between the two jobs, so we would each have a 45 min. commute. she doesnt want to move because her family is where she lives now

    im like :wtf: family, its just 45 min.

    anyway i think you get the idea

    any thoughts?
     
  2. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    i'd take the job. it sounds like she doesnt want to move in with you. :dunno:
     
  3. Two toys

    Two toys New Member

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    it depends if she is worth it to YOU or not.
     
  4. uf20wop

    uf20wop OT Supporter

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    i've been with her like 2.5 yrs and i can def. see myself with her for a long time.

    the original plan was for me to get a job back home and move in with her, but now this job is so perfect i really dont want to pass it up, when a reasonable solution can be made :sad2:
     
  5. Two toys

    Two toys New Member

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    more on subject of what you want to hear, i broke up with the girl who i was in my most happy and amazing relationship with because she refused to come live near me. her family was there so thats where she wanted to be, i couldnt leave because my job is only available in and around los angeles. she was a 2 hour drive away.
     
  6. Rich

    Rich New Member

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    1.5 Hours from Gainesville designing Jet Engines? Is it somewhere in Orlando?

    If so, bail on her and move to Orlando.
     
  7. uf20wop

    uf20wop OT Supporter

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    she & i are from melbourne, the turbine place is in jupiter, which is 1.5 hr south

    we're already in a long distance thing, but i wanted to end that after college

    she is an accountant, so i told her ideally we'd just both move to jupiter and she can still be an accountant there.

    she just doesnt want to risk everything in melbourne i guess
     
  8. fray

    fray New Member

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    I would take the dream job, get a place for yourself half-way in between and hope she comes around. if she doesn't you could always move closer. I wouldn't take a shit job to sit around and be unhappy about it. 45 minutes from family is not that bad.
     
  9. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    The question is why on earth you are even debating this, when it's so FUCKING CLOSE.... Even if it was 3+ hours away, I would say take it.
     
  10. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Take the job.

    Even if you break up with the gf, the increased happiness and confidence from having the job you really love will aid in finding a new gf.
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2008
  11. skelm

    skelm New Member

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    Very recently I was in this exact situation. I currently play poker for a living and my last SO asked me to give it up since she saw it as an unhonorable profession without a future (She was ok with me doing this until I finished my degree and then chose not to use it).

    I did a lot of thinking and decided that if I took up a job for her and not for me then I would resent her to a degree whenever things were horrible or difficult at work.

    In the end I choose Poker and unfortunately the relationship ended. It's difficult still but in my opinion relationships are not only about your own happiness but also your SO's. She knew I was very happy with what I was doing but she let the feelings she had about my chosen lifestyle cloud this and subsequently push me to change it for her.

    Whichever decision you make don't make it in a hurry because it really could lead to the demise of the relationship.
     
  12. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    Then don't pass it up. Something like this may never come along again. Do you really want to look back and kick yourself years down the road for not taking it? If she's in it for the long haul, she'll realize that relationships are about compromise, and living somewhere in the middle is just that. She may not realize it tomorrow or next week, but she'll realize it at some point if her heart's in the right place. 45 minutes is not too far from family, and it sounds like she's using the excuse to cover up other reasons why she may not want to move.
     
  13. uf20wop

    uf20wop OT Supporter

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    :rofl: thanks ngas
     
  14. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    Take the job. If her family is more important to her than your relationship then maybe you two have different priorities. Yes, family should be important to someone but when you're in a serious relationship I think it should take precedent at times. A 45 minute commute is not bad at all, and unless she's making a LOT of money at her current job, then she's really screwing you over.

    It sounds like an extremely fair compromise proposal on your part to move halfway between the jobs but she isn't willing to change anything at all. I'd move and take the job.
     
  15. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    no that girl can either move or she can fuck off
     
  16. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    you made the right choice. You 20 % of your life at work almost; you should be happy doing what you have to do.
     
  17. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Perfect jobs come and go, but a girlfriend is something that may only happen once in a life time.


    ...wait, reverse that
     
  18. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    take the job...you will resent her and it will form a wedge in your relationship and it will eventually end anyway. If youre used to LDR, this should be nothing for you. relationships take compromise...if she wants to make it work, she should make the effort too. plus, she should realize that this is really whats best for you, and be happy you got the job you've been searching for.
     
  19. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :rofl:
     
  20. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    Thats my stand on this. Money/Work > Women in my books. If she can't respect one of your life goals and hard work coming together then sounds like she isnt the one.
     
  21. Autumn243

    Autumn243 New Member

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    45 minutes away?? thats nothing. i drive at least 1.5 hours for work everyday and i have a ldr so i drive 4-5 hours to see my boyfriend as much as i can...

    if your gf truly wants to be with you, she'll find a way. if i were in that situation with my boyfriend, id be more than happy with a 45 minute drive. maybe you guys need to discuss deeper issues with the relationship? most importantly, if she truly cares about you, she should be encouraging you to take a job that would make you so happy..
     
  22. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I'm pretty sure Jupiter is farther than 1.5 hours away

    [​IMG]
     
  23. ManyHamsters

    ManyHamsters There are necessary pursuits... but poetry, beauty

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    job, make the drive if you care for her
     
  24. jonno

    jonno New Member

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  25. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    First I will answer the question at hand:
    If I was offered my dream job and it was an hour and 1/2 away I wouldn't HAVE to move. It's your fucking "dream job." I'd drive 2 hours away for it.

    But my real issue when reading your thread is:
    You were tying to make a very nice compromise/commitment to your girlfriend and instead of her obliging she turns you down outright just because she'd be 45 minutes away from family. Look, I am a ridiculously family-oriented person. I have to see my family at least once a week (that's usually all I have time for now as it is living 30 minutes away). If she's not willing to move in with you (something most girls dream about their bf asking) it proves she's just not that into you and she should know your relationship will be far different.

    TAKE THE JOB. If shes not willing to make any sacrifice to be with you, even after 2 1/2 years she's not worth it, that job is.
     

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