LGBT Would you get involved with someone who is HIV+ ?

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by MapleLeaf, Apr 20, 2005.

  1. MapleLeaf

    MapleLeaf New Member

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    Would the fact that someone is HIV + stop you from entering into a serious relationship with them? To me if you love someone I can't see why that would be a barrier, but I wanted to get a read on things from others here...
     
  2. Taylor

    Taylor Guest

    I think that, as hard as it would be for me if I was in love with the person, that no I would not be able to have a relationship with them. There is just too much danger there, and I am too concerned about my health.
     
  3. cedric

    cedric I don't have a contract

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    My common sense is saying no, not entirely for health reasons, but because I'd know that our time together would be limited. I know you can live for a while with HIV, but still, I doubt I could deal with knowing that I'm going to have to watch him die. It really depends on the guy though. He'd really have to be something for me to consider it.
     
  4. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    Depends on our emotional connection, I suppose.

    I certainly would have a lot to overcome in the bedroom to feel comfortable, but if I was in love with him, I would try it.
     
  5. marxwa99

    marxwa99 Boom Squad

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    it matters on how the disclosure occurs. If i'm dating someone, and then he discloses that, then i wouldn't know how to react. part of me thinks that stuff like that should be said upfront for my safety. I hate how we make HIV and AIDS some sort of socially-deviant disease, but unfortunately, we cannot ignore the health risks. Yet, we don't want to look like jackasses and say we wouldnt date someone just because they are HIV+. We immediately stereotype HIV infection as coming from unsafe sex, needle sharing, etc. but we forget about the outlier cases that were not caused from this. Is it right to classify in the same group: (1) the promiscuous individual who fucks every guy bareback and gets HIV from his stupidity, and (2) the individual who got HIV from a significant other who did not have the decency to tell him about his diagnosis. (1) was almost looking for trouble, (2) was screwed by his faith in someone else's honesty.

    I dated someone once and he dropped the bombshell after we were intimate that he had HPV (warts). Things more or less ended, not because of the health risk, but for the lack of honesty. I felt betrayed, especially after i asked him if he got tested. His rebuttal was that i asked him if he got tested, which he did, not if he had any STDs. So technically, he didnt lie. Yeah, so much for that. Luckily i didnt get exposed to the HPV.

    My conclusion is that if i ever did meet someone, and we totally hit it off, and even if he was HIV+, i'd deal with it. I would not let that tarnish my view of the person. I knew someone who dated someone long term with HIV and stayed partnered with him until his partner died of AIDS. They still had sex, they used protection. He rationalized that his partner was worth the risk.

    Yes, seeing someone die would be painful but had you not chosen to be with that person, you'd be missing out on so many great memories as well. Memories are eternal recollections of ephemerality, and before i get overdramatic, im gonna stop my post right here.
     
  6. MapleLeaf

    MapleLeaf New Member

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    I guess I am in the minority here in thinking that if the person was +, and I loved him I would still go out with him. Of course I would have to know about it up front and not get "surprised" by the fact later on.

    Just pontificating about something that may be developing with a very close friend... hmmm....
     
  7. Improvolone

    Improvolone New Member

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    To me, a relationship is the best friendship possible, and you have sex. I can be in love with the person, and in a serious friendship, and care about them, without getting intimate.
    I would NOT get intimate with someone who is HIV+, it's not worth it, it's only sex.
     
  8. Team503

    Team503 Guest

    I've slept with a boy who was positive.. and he was beautiful... I don't know how I would feel about dating someone. I liked this guy, but he was a walking baggage cart because of it. I would've tried, if he hadn't gone on for two days about it after we slept together.

    And yes, he gave full disclosure before anything happenned, and it didn't bother me.
     
  9. Love do not last forever, the HIV will, for a while longer at least.
     
  10. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    I like to think that I would be open to a loving, safe relationship with someone who was positive. But I've never been in that situation, nor can I honestly 'know' with a certainty. I'm rather sexual-health crazed, so who knows how I'll really react.
     
  11. hootpie

    hootpie New Member

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  12. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    Knowing what I know now, that sex is such a small part of a successful relationship, I think the HIV status would be less of an issue for the relationship (from a sex standpoint).

    That being said, I have no bedside manner AT ALL, and I don't know if I could handle the bad times (from a health standpoint).
     
  13. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    Personally, I've always been a big believer in the concept that love can transcend all barriers. I don't think I could get involved in a relationship with someone that is HIV+, but if my partner was to become HIV+ through a blood transfusion, or some other non-sexual way, I wouldn't leave him. I would stay with him and continue to build on our relationship.
     
  14. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    That is an unfortunate, pessimistic way to look at it. Love can and does last forever depending upon the people involved in the relationship.
     

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