LGBT Would you date someone who is positive?

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by MapleLeaf, Jul 27, 2006.

  1. MapleLeaf

    MapleLeaf New Member

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    The comment in the random thoughts thread got me thinking (and no CoCo, a search indicated this topic has NOT been discussed).

    Would you date another person who was HIV+?

    Me, I would have to say yes... depending on the person and the connection/relationship between us. Anyone one of us could drop dead tomorrow for any number of reasons, to discount someone because there is a chance you will outlive them is not a great reason IMO.

    Yes I understand the emotional aspects of this, and certainly safety must be considered... but I believe I would still date them.

    Your thoughts?
     
  2. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    No just because of the safety issue.
     
  3. spiffy_badrock

    spiffy_badrock I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

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    Agreed...no due to safety. It would be tough though.
     
  4. suckmyexhaust

    suckmyexhaust New Member

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    same here. had one close encounter and do not want to even think about it.
     
  5. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    Wow; to say that I wasn't a bit shocked would be a lie, but I harbor no judgment...

    Yes, I would date someone who was positive, in theory. On the one hand I believe that I am open and mature enough to be able to deal with the emotional issues that seem to hammer positive/negative couples. But on the other hand, you never really know until you are faced with the situation. All sorts of unknown discriminations might come up, that you had no idea that you had.

    All of the older OTers know that my oldest/best friend, and first gay friend died of aids related illness, and it totally fucked me up. I think that I posted more about that than Carnifex does about his current relationship drama.... Even though he and I never did anything sexual together, we were very close (I luved him like a brother). Let the right song come on the radio, certain models walk down the runway, or certain flamboyant individuals sass someone and I still get teary eyes. I was with him when he died (actually, I made him laugh...and he laughed himself to death). And my love for him has not changed, nor has it spoiled me to relationships with positive individuals.

    Because of his mistakes in life, I know the correct steps to take. His was a worst-case scenario (young fag disowned by family, uneducated to the real issues, forced to make his own way using the only currency that he had...his body). I know that HIV/AIDS is not the death sentence that it used to be; it is now much more manageable. And unwanted transmission can really be controlled if you are educated, and use the protections that are out there.

    That said, to contribute to the stigmatization of positive individuals by discounting them as potential mates is not something that I could live with...but what you do falls on your conscience. And I will not judge any of you.

    Much luv.
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2006
  6. XPX

    XPX New Member

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    Nope, for the previously stated reasons and because it would crush me to see a person die slowly and finally go away if the meds stop working... :(
     
  7. FastCat

    FastCat New Member

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    If I fell in love with someone who was positive; then yes I could have a relationship with them. Would I be scared... Absolutely. But there are many things that can be done safely with or without protection. I think we all deserve love and who am I to throw it away just because it is not "perfect." Love is love... and relationships can end for many reasons at any moment; death, break ups, etc.... Dating someone who is positive at least you know in advance that any sexual intimacy has to be extremely safe - for both of you!

    Maybe I am naive; but I am not naive enough to pass up on what could be the best relationship I could ever have.
     
  8. Kakashi

    Kakashi I'm kind of a big deal.

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    Hell no.

    I don't think I could be any more blunt than that. I'd never take that risk, I don't care how hot he is.
     
  9. Notorious R.I.E.

    Notorious R.I.E. Queen Bee

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    my words exactly
     
  10. FastCat

    FastCat New Member

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    The question was DATE not HAVE SEX... So you wouldn't even go on a date with someone who was positive?
    My whole point is that you never know when/where love can find you.. and to pass up an opportunity because someone is positive seems kinda silly TO ME. Maybe it's because I am older and don't exactly have men knocking my door down LOL!
     
  11. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    :hsugh: ...so you don't date at all? (Because I can only assume that the risk you are referring to is 'death by debilitating illness'. And in this case, I'll ignore the medical breakthroughs that we have made in the past 10 years and just say that infection equals death. Given that, no sex is 'safe sex', only 'safer sex' (ie, informed, monogamous, & with contraception’s in place); all sexual intercourse puts you at some degree of risk.

    But the overall question wasn't about sex, but about dating. And so I'll also assume that you (and everyone else) are stipulating that relationships must contain sexual contact. So if you don't want to be put at risk, then you don't date. Right?)
     
  12. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    Well, I'm younger. And I do have men knocking my door down. And I'm negative. But to each their own.

    I guess I'm just different; it's all good. I know that some people just cannot deal with this kind of thing. And although I wont judge them for it, I will try to show them other perspectives...

    Regardless, I luv you fags, hags, dykes, bykes, and allied breeders! :bigthumb:
     
  13. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    Theoretically, I would like to think that if I loved the person enough, the HIV status wouldn't mean that I'd break it off.

    But, in reality, I probably would break it off when I found out that the person was HIV-positive.

    I don't date guys that smoke, for God's sake, because I know it will affect their ability to be active outside (hiking, biking, kayaking, etc). So, I would think that their HIV status would trump whether they smoke or not.
     
  14. Priest Tango

    Priest Tango Custom User Tits

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    honestly, i think there are too many varients to make a 'yes' or 'no' decision
     

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