LGBT would you date a closet guy?

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by Naturally Baked, Oct 10, 2009.

  1. Naturally Baked

    Naturally Baked Active Member

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    Why/Why not?


    I think theres levels of closet guys. Theres the "str8" gay, "bi" gay, "just having fun" gay, etc etc etc


    Me, Im more of the "Yeah, Im a homo but don't feel the need to go around and spread it to everyone". I suppose that it will bite me in the back when I am caught in public or something like that but for now its worked out since nothing serious has taken place. Maybe its an excuse for me to NOT come out but I feel like where I am at right now is good and bad because I dont have to deal with it but at the same time I can't meet guys anywhere except "FUCKMEHARDTONIGHT.COM" or other sites lol...I am not sure when I will come out but I know im going to. I am, for the most part, comfortable with being gay, but terrified of what my family is going to say, what friends will abandon me, what friends will support me. I have come out to a few and to know they still love me is great but I still don't feel like I have anyone to talk to. SOmetimes i just feel so isolated and alone, like I have to keep all my emotions bottled up inside because no one would want to hear about my homo adventures. It sucks a lot when I am out with friends and they talk shit about gay people and I just kind of have to put a smirk on my face and nod my head...people just dont understand I guess. Im just sick of everyhting and not having someone to spend my life with. Im terrified im going to end up an 55 year old homosexual living alone and trying to hook up with boys on manhunt.com....and why has every gay I have met only been looking for a hook up....ughhh


    where are the nice boys at :wtc:

    edit: holy fuck...uhh, i suppose i should change thread title to "my rant" but w/e
     
  2. Bib-Lettuce

    Bib-Lettuce New Member

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    Probably, my parents/friends know and don't care so we could 'be ourselves together' in front of them.

    But then again I'm notorious for keeping everyone seperate, I don't have a group, just groups of individuals so they would probably see him once a year at my birthday or something. We'd be alone when we were hanging out.

    In terms of in public I wouldn't be into any PDA anyway so doesn't matter if they're closeted or not. I guess the only problem would be having to pretend to be just friends infront of his parents/friends, but if he's closeted I'd imagine most time would be spent at mine.
     
  3. XPX

    XPX New Member

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    I hear ya....completely. :hsd:
    I would date a closeted guy just for the fact that I would be able to keep shit from spreading fast and have everything under control...but yeah, being in the closet makes it really hard to meet people and those websites...are just useless.

    "an 55 year old homosexual living alone and trying to hook up with boys on manhunt.com"

    That is one of my biggest fears...If I turn 40 and if that ever happens I'll just assume that I'll be alone the rest of my life and I'll focus on other things then :hsd: maybe not everyone is wired to be in a relatioship. :o
     
  4. MeanGreen

    MeanGreen New Member

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    probably not, and thats because I know my world and myself as a person totally changed since I came out. So would rather want to know the person after they are out. Not to mention the whole game of playing "who knows" is hard enough when they are out, I could not deal with it with them still being in the closet. Put it this way, it would have to one hell of a catch to go though that whole process again.
     
  5. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    Nope...

    Too much fear and shame associated with the closet.

    I want to be with a man who is out to everyone and who feels as I do; that being gay is absolutely not a big deal at all. This includes his parents, extended family, and all friends.

    I have no time for the shame and oppression associated with being closeted.
     
  6. LA02MAX

    LA02MAX New Member

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    The main reason I'm not out yet is because I live with my sister in law and I know she would tell my mom if she found out...I want to be 100% financially independent before I come out to my mom in case the shit hits the fan... sad, right?
     
  7. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    not sad... very practical, actually.
     
  8. MeanGreen

    MeanGreen New Member

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    I did the same thing for the most part, but I wouldn't worry about it to be honest
     
  9. Naturally Baked

    Naturally Baked Active Member

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    i dont even remember making this thread :ugh:
     
  10. novo

    novo Pokey Man OT Supporter

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    .

    burn the closet to the ground
     
  11. XPX

    XPX New Member

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    That's every gay man's goal...I think, being independent gives you the freedom to act without the fear of living in a place where everything you do gives you trouble...
     
  12. Naturally Baked

    Naturally Baked Active Member

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    Ive been contemplating just coming out this weekend to my parents...I think its time...keeping this shit bottled up is just adding to the stress I already have...I cant do this much longer
     
  13. MeanGreen

    MeanGreen New Member

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    You can't even phantom the amount of stress it takes off your life :bowdown:

    if your family loves you now and you have a good relationship than you are going to be fine

    you already said you mom basically knows
     
  14. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

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    Depends on how deep in the closet they are. I've made a post on CL before just to see whats out there, I got quite a few repsonses that put a heavy mephasis on how important it is that we don't get seen in public together at a restaurant/bowling alley/park/etc. :ugh:

    I understand if they don't want to hold hands or kiss in public, I'm not a fan of PDAs myself, but to be afraid of simply being seen eating lunch with another guy? I'm pretty sure straight guys hang out and get lunch together without been seen as gay.
     
  15. Bib-Lettuce

    Bib-Lettuce New Member

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    Totally agreed, that's ridiculous, like guys who have a 'hetro seat' at the cinema (seat inbetween them both)
     
  16. Naturally Baked

    Naturally Baked Active Member

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    umm i used to do that but its becuase I was fat
     
  17. novo

    novo Pokey Man OT Supporter

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    that shit is so stupid. :rofl::greddy:
     
  18. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    I hate to be grammar-nazi guy here, and make you the grammar-Jew

    But, I think you meant "You can't even fathom"

    I'm pretty sure you were not saying that he couldn't ghost. :mamoru:
     
  19. Bib-Lettuce

    Bib-Lettuce New Member

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    Well that's valid, same with "easier to put popocorn/snacks there". But 'we'll look gay' is just stupid.
     
  20. XPX

    XPX New Member

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    gotta love sammy :rofl:
     
  21. elevator

    elevator The tenants think it's wonderful! ヽ(´ OT Supporter

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    If I liked a guy, his closet status would not hinder a thing.

    that's coming from a partially closeted guy, though...
     
  22. Naturally Baked

    Naturally Baked Active Member

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    everyone already knows anyways homo, just come out
     
  23. elevator

    elevator The tenants think it's wonderful! ヽ(´ OT Supporter

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    :rofl: looking in the mirror stylefaggotlabelwhore?

    I don't have a single gay trait - except I tell my friends I want to suck them off when we are all drunk (and I do :o)
     
  24. Naturally Baked

    Naturally Baked Active Member

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    :hs:
     
  25. Naturally Baked

    Naturally Baked Active Member

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    that was mean dude :wtc:
     

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