would you consider 80 miles a long distance relationship?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Brigante, Mar 24, 2006.

  1. Brigante

    Brigante i'm a lurker without an avatar, deal with it

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    my girlfriend is having such a hard time with this. i've been recently promoted and transferred to a differnent location in my job. it's 80 miles from my current location and my girlfriend is just not taking it well. i don't get most of it. yes i have to move to be within a reasonable commute. i'm not about to commute 160 miles everyday. so tomorrow i'm packin up and moving closer to my office.

    my whole argument is that i hardly, at all, consider this a long distance relationship but she's treating it as if i were moving across the country and we'll never see each other. grant it we won't be spendin as much time together as we have been the past 8 months (which has been essentially at least a couple hours everyday almost) but i suspect at least on the weekends we'll be together, which is plenty for me but obviuosly not for her.

    she cries, she pulls shit like i'm doing this to get away from her and i just want to be alone. i didn't ask for a promotion and especially not a transfer, but i'm certainly not going to deny it.

    help!!
     
  2. [DWI]

    [DWI] Master of Nothing

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    my gf is about 80 miles away this year and was more like 180, both last year and this year we manage to see eachother on a regualr basis, granted we argue alot when we have been apart oo long. but no 80 miles isn't long distance unless you make it long distance.
     
  3. :smile:

    :smile: New Member

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    my bf lives about 30 mins away from me(about 25 miles) we make it work but it is hard especially if i need a hug real bad. it's much easier to live 10-15 mins away so you can just run over there but if she loves you then she'll make it work & understand.
     
  4. :smile:

    :smile: New Member

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    i envy you and the fact that your SO lives so close. i wouldn't normally do this with anyone but i love him and would do anything. the great thing is, my mom and i are looking into moving and i'll be a little closer to him :) hope it works out :x:
     
  5. Yes have some!

    Yes have some! Active Member

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    My wife an I date for 5 1/2 years before we got married. We live and went to school 150-220 miles apart. YOU CAN MAKE IT WORK!!! You have to have trust and communication. We've been together over 9 years now.

    Good luck:)
     
  6. Rotate

    Rotate New Member

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    I started dating my girlfriend less than two weeks before moving 300 miles away and we made it work. I lived away from her for about 3 months and then I moved closer. I drove back on Fridays and spent the weekend with her before waking up on Monday mornings and driving back the 300 miles. It was absolutely worth it.

    That was over a year and a half ago and we're still going stong.

    Distance is hard, but it can be something that strengthens your relationship like no other. We realised how crazy we were about each other durning the week.

    Keep showing her you care for her even though you are away. Make unexpected trips to her, send her packages, etc. Show her that she's the real priority.
     
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2006
  7. Mars Princess

    Mars Princess They hatin'

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    80 miles is long distance but if you two can see each other on a regular basis (a few times a week or on the weekends as you say) I think it can work out. I think she just needs to get adjusted to the new routine.

    If she doesnt' feel like you want to be around her, do something special for her every now and again when you do share time so she doesn't think you feel obligated to go see her as often as you can manage :)
     
  8. Coco Monkey

    Coco Monkey OT Supporter

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    I live in Savannah GA, my girlfriend lives in Minneapolis, MN.


    Who's got the long distance relationship now???? Tell your gf to suck it up and be a trooper. Relationships arent always easy or convenient. If she's not willing to make the sacrifice, then maybe she isnt the one to be with.
     
  9. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    its not far enough to keep a good relationship from working out.
     
  10. low20

    low20 Member

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    if you move half way, then itll only be like a half hour commute for you to work and for her to your house....that does not seem like a huge deal to me...it will just cut out the stupid 30 minute hang out trips.
     
  11. ChrisOT

    ChrisOT New Member

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    820 Miles, but it's working. Trying to keep on those visit every 2 months ;)
     
  12. Camron James

    Camron James New Member

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    I am considering a 145 mile relationship. Of course I can't do that every day, but once or twice a week isn't a problem for me. It's only about a half a tank of gas to get there and back, not too shabby. Of course the turnpike is another $8.00 in toll fees or something ridiculous like that, but I'll deal with it.

    One of my high school friends is in a 5,000 mile relationship. She is going to school in Canterbury, England, and her boyfriend is still here in Broken Arrow, OK. They make it work, it just takes effort. Why are so many people unwilling to put forth any effort if you *actually* care about the relationship? NO long-term relationship is effortless.
     
  13. Fallout Girl

    Fallout Girl New Member

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    My boyfriend is on a deployment in Iraq right now. Can't get much farther than that. He has been gone since January and won't be back until the end of May maybe June. It has been really hard and there have been a few times that I didn't think that we were going to make it but We've pulled through so far. The thing about long distance relationships is that you don't have the physical contact and emotions get confused really easily over telephone and email conversations so a lot of things that wouldn't be a problem when they were there get blown way out of proportion. I find myself having to step out of my shoes alot and taking a look from a different angle and taking a deep breath. But knowing that there is real love is the most important thing. You can make it through it whether it's 80 miles or thousands.
     
  14. Indrew

    Indrew New Member

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    If they don't put in the effort, they don't actually care. :wtc:
     
  15. The Secretary

    The Secretary My domestic skills will rock your socks off!

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    My bf and I live about 165 mi away from each other and we have been making it work for about a year and 8 months away from each other. Between work and school we only see each other about every 6-8 weeks, if its a sound relationship and both sides are willing to make it work then it can. I would do anything to be living 80 miles away from my bf, If I were her I could consider myself very lucky, one becuase your wanting to make it work and the distance isnt all that bad.
     
  16. Camron James

    Camron James New Member

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    Exactly. If you aren't willing to put forth effort, you are only fooling yourself into thinking that you care.
     
  17. snapa

    snapa Fake brim = Ze Hotness

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    This is snapa's friend kevin. Well right now i am haveing a long distace relationship with my girl. We are six hundred miles away and i try to see her atleast once a month. The only peice of advice that i can give you is make sure that you have the trust between each other. If you don't then it is never going to work. So i wish it all works out with you too.
     
  18. Camron James

    Camron James New Member

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    I agree with this. Trust is *ABSOLUTELY* necessary.
     
  19. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    i don't agree with long distance relationships. if it's meant to be, it'll happen.

    that said, i've sorta been in 2 long distance relationships now. one lasted ~7 years, of which half (~3.5 years) was spent 1500 miles apart. we were not official, yet looking from the outside in, it'd be hard to agree when you saw us in person. we're obviously no longer together. he was a great person, there are just some things that he failed to give me in the relationship :)rolleyes: not talking sex here), and he's very much against change. one of the big factors was the issue of IF we got married, where we would live. he had no desire to move from his home state, and i didn't have the desire to move back. i never said that i wouldn't, but i could get better employment elsewhere. :sad2: ...this plus other issues = relationship demise.

    i've currently found myself in a similar predicament. i've been "talking" to a friend of mine that i've known for ~4 years, and he lives in my home state, ie the same state as guy 1... 1500 miles away. he and i connect on so many levels, it's rather scary. he knows what i'm thinking and vice versa. we're not officially together, but i honestly have no interest in dating other guys. (heh, this has never happened to me before.)

    ;) it still doesn't change my view on the long distance thing. i don't feel as if there's a need to be official. just take things one day at a time. if you're meant to be together, it will happen. life will bring you together... somehow :)

    anyways, the gist? 80 miles is long distance, but it doesn't have to be that big of a deal. you CANNOT let relationships get in the way of still pursuing goals, dreams, etc. when i first moved to florida, i got bombarded with questions from people asking me why i had moved away from the guy i was 'talking' to. we had a good thing going. a relationship is only going to add to my happiness, but i have to make sure i don't forget about me. don't let your girl talk you into doing things you don't want to do. if you don't see eye to eye on realistic issues, it's best to get out now. :sad2:


    good luck :)
     

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