Would you be mad?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by OoOlAlA, Jul 28, 2007.

  1. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    Okay well tonight I go to a party with my boyfriend and my two cousins. We walk up and some girl comes up to my boyfriend and was talking to him, he then introduces both my cousins but not me. Then I hear her name and remember seeing it on his phone a few times, could be the same girl or just had the same name. So I am kinda getting irritated at this point. Then he has not really been talking to me but I see him standing and she walks over and put her hand on his chest. Okay now I am mad. They walked over to the keg together and stood there pouring for a good while. He comes over and I let him know I am mad and he just basically says I am a bitch. I try to just drop it and start drinking. I am finally doing better but still do not like when she comes around, never once does she say a word to me. Later before we were going she comes and puts her arm around him, he doesn't remove it. I hear her talking about in Feb. he went and pulled her out of the ditch and he stayed there and she cooked him and whoever breakfast. Holy fuck was I ever pissed. Been with him 2 years. That is including Feb. Then she tries to tell me things about him. How he likes guns and shit. I just said "Yeah I know" Why the fuck wouldn't I know that? Then she said he sleeps with his gun. Yeah I know that but how the fuck does she?

    Btw when I go out drinking without or with him I never let a guy touch me. If someone put their arm around me I remove it. I told him I wanted to fucking hit her and he was like "are you fucking kidding me" and all that crap basically saying I am a bitch again. I think I have every right to be mad and upset about this. I already have trust issues with him and this didn't help at all. What do you guys think?
     
  2. Gun Runner

    Gun Runner OT Supporter

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    ...
     
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2007
  3. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    Yeah you can't read a thread about you...
     
  4. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    is he the bf? :coolugh:


    regardless, it was tacky, but he was probably just being party/social-like. not my style. is this his normal behavior? needs to be put in perspective with how he normally acts.

    how much were you guys drinking? people get touchy at parties, thats just how it is. :hsugh:


    perhaps you should sleep on this and think about it with a clear mind.
     
  5. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    Yeah that would be him. You wouldn't be pissed if some girl said your boyfriend stayed at her house? Or if she was touching him? I am not usually out with him so I wouldn't know if it was normal. Its not acceptable to me. I had like 2 beers and he was just fine too. Yeah drunk people try to hang on me too but I push them off like your suppose to. It makes it even worse with everything else that she had done/said that night.
     
  6. Alexqzilla

    Alexqzilla New Member

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    I think the fact that he's being defensive and insulting you for having your legit concerns should speak for itself tbh
     
  7. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    spent the night, yes.

    touched/friendly at a party? if it was just how he has always been, no. if it's new/unusual behavior, yes.

    where did you meet him?
     
  8. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    Maybe if it was just her touching his chest without the other things I wouldn't be upset. But everything put together really upsets me. And then he goes and jokes about it. Well two years ago he was at my sisters house and he always came around and wanted to spend time with me and do everything with me. Now he doesn't invite me anywhere and will not listen to me when I say something bothers me. Instead he makes a joke of it as you seen, ignores me, and makes an asshole comment. And so she says he spent the night and she also knows how he sleeps. Isn't that a little weird? I think its pretty messed up. And for the record I have been to like one other party with him and no he didn't "touch" any other girl there. He is not a very social touchy guy at all.

    It upsets me even more that I cannot even talk to him about it. He ignores it. I am getting so frustrated with never being able to talk to him about anything that I am beginning to become overwhelmed when something happens. Then when a situation like this happens and he will not talk about it and jokes about it, I think that something is wrong.
     
  9. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    approaching the situation when you're mad is probably not helping much, and putting him on the defensive.

    have you tried bringing up your concerns in a non confrontational manner? how often do things bother you? do you annoy him with constant badgering about how he behaves?

    are you typically passive aggressive?
     
  10. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    I don't go yelling at him about it or anything. I tell him it bothers me. Lately yeah I have been on his case because I am so frustrated. It feels like things are just piling on top of eachother and he continues to ignore all of it. When I am thinking all of these things and he won't deal with it I get super frustrated. So now the littlest thing could happen and I get this feeling of disapointment kind of, I don't really know how else to explain it. I try to drop things and I usually can but then when something happens and he ignores it then I put it on the stack with everything else that he doesn't care about. It is super frustrating. I don't go yelling at him, I try to have a reasonable conversation with him about whatever the problem is. He just doesn't seem to give a shit. Nothing will work. He could sit and watch me cry about this and not say one thing about it. I think I am pretty understanding and I have let a lot of things go but it is obviously a mistake to just ignore things that are bothering me. If there is nothing going on is it so hard for him to explain that to me? I am sure he is annoyed yeah, so am I , I don't like fighting, but it is really hard for me to continue to ignore everything. Everything could be so simple if he would just talk.

    Sometimes yeah I can get out of hand, but I apologize for it. He never apologizes to me. I have become so sensitive to everything because he never deals with it. This situation seems to me like he is possibly cheating on me, but he at least is keeping secrets from me if he is sleeping at her house, which is not acceptable. He got mad when I talked to guy friends on the phone, so I stopped doing it. I make sacrafices and am open to talk about whatever.
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2007
  11. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    it's not his problem to deal your insecurities.

    does he say he spent the night? he says it's all no big deal? you either believe him, or you don't. no amount of talking is going to sway you.
     
  12. arseclown

    arseclown Guest

    if it's a girl he's known previously, he may have HAD feelings for her before your relationship. and if you get all mad about him when he's just talking to her then it'll put him on the defensive and make him annoyed at you since a) you guys are together and b) he doesn't feel as attracted to her now and you being mad is just doing weird emotional shit.

    just back off and accept the fact that you and him are actually together. this isn't high school.
     
  13. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    How am I not suppose to feel insecure in this situation. And it is his problem when there is something wrong in our relationship. In relationships your suppose to talk. We don't.
     
  14. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    I wasn't mad because they were talking. I am mad because she touched him and that he spent the night at her house while we were together and that she possibly slept at his house. I have never heard of her before and if she was something in the past I would have known about it. He would have told me. Easy for you to say to back off, think about actually putting yourself in the situation. There is no way in hell he would allow me to sleep at some guys house, or would have a guy touching me.
     
  15. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    why are you still in it if you aren't getting what you need out of the relationship. obviously, you've tried.
     
  16. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    Because I always think in the back of my mind that maybe he will come around sometime.

    I am going to bed now, I will check back tomarrow.
     
  17. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    you still think he's an alcoholic, or has that drama passed?
     
  18. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Seems pretty disrespectful to me. I'd dump him.
     
  19. nerd9

    nerd9 OT Supporter

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    as guys advise other guys in this forum, it's best sometimes to cut your losses before something REALLY bad happens

    maybe it should apply to girls too...? go ahead and move on, there's a million guys in the world
     
  20. fray

    fray New Member

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    I would be pissed, personally. It's odd that it happened, disrespectiful that it continued after you told him it bothered you (although not completely surprising since he was drunk/drinking), and strange that she didn't seem to know that you were the gf. does she know he has a gf? If not, that's not a great sign.

    I would be concerned that you guys are having problems already, and now a new girl that seems overly friendly with your guy is showing up. He may not be ignorning the problem, he may be finding his own solution around the problem.

    I'm on board with cutting your losses. To me, it doesn't sound good here, plus he is unwilling to communicate or try to figure out what's wrong with the relationship. Don't stay if you're unhappy.
     
  21. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    Why are you still with him if you don't trust him? I know YOU know that TRUST is huge in a relationship.

    He's obviously putting himself out their to other girls and being disrespectful to you. If the roles were reverse and If a girl did that to me, She would be gone.

    He called you a "bitch?"
    Why would you let him disrespect you like that? Tell him to get fucking lost.

    If you stay with him, you are dumb.
     
  22. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    thats way shadier then I would tolerate.

    Who cares if they are banging or not, cause that level of disrespect is enough for me to pull the plug.
     
  23. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Too bad for the ladies that this is exactly the sort of behavior that keeps them interested

    Logic tells her to dump him, but she makes her relationship and dating decisions with her emotions

    Guys: She doesn't want her problem fixed, she just wants to vent and get sympathy and understanding (nothing wrong with that)
     
  24. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    Unfornately this is true.

    If the roles were reversed though (and it was the BF posting on the Vag), What would be the apporiate way to handle it? I say obviously Dump her and move on. Why would I need that headache from her?
     
  25. runawaycamel

    runawaycamel New Member

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    Ive been in a situation like this and kept hanging on by a thread. It would have been so much easier to break up sooner. If I were you I'd dump him.
     

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