SRS Would someone please tell me what i did wrong here

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by bigman7903, Jul 19, 2006.

  1. bigman7903

    bigman7903 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    10,161
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dystopia
    Ok, I'm not really sure what I did wrong in this situation and I need a some help trying to figure it all out because I now have my Mom an my Grandmother wicked pissed at me.

    Background:
    I just graduated HS, I'm attending Washington and Jefferson College this fall and I cannot wait. My Grandmother has said that for my graduation gift she would buy a laptop for me to use at college, Awesome. I did some research decided what I wanted and found out I have to go about 50 miles to pick it up at the store (I'll be damned if I have it shipped and its busted)

    Last Thursday:
    My mom said that I needed to talk w/ Grandma to see when we could go pick it up, I said that I would talk to her on sunday at the family get together. No problem.

    Sun/Family gathering:
    My aunt asks me if I need a laptop, which reminded me to ask my grandma when she would be good to go. I asked her what day would be good for her, she said any day but Tuesday, I said Tues and Thurs were out for me, the rest of the week was good. She said, "how about tomarrow?" Cool, sounds good. about an hour later my mom come up to us at the table and asked if we figured out when we were going. I said that tomarrow was good. Mom said, "well I wanted to go w/ you guys and your brother has work, wait, you probably want to go and spend some time w/ your grandma." I say, "We can go wednesday." grandma nods. Mom said, "thats ok, you guys just go." Ok

    That night:
    Mom gets pissed at me and said that I set up the day to go pick up the computer so that she couldn't go w/ us since she had to be home because my brother was working (i forgot that my brother was working). She said that I lied to her because I said that I didnt care if she went but I made for damn sure that she couldnt go, meaning that I wanted to go alone.

    Next morning:
    I go to grab breakfast at brueggers and call my grandmother on the way and ask if we can go on wed, because mom is really pissed at me because she wanted to go. she asked me if I cared if mom went, I replied, "no". I say thank you, because she is really upset here and I'm hoping his will save my ass because I didnt realize that this was such a big deal, she says no problem we'll go wed.

    I get back and tell mom that we'll all go on wed. she blows up again saying that not only did I lie to her last night, but now I went behind her back to lie to my grandmother that I didnt mind if she went. I get done being yelled at and go for a bikeride to cool off. grandma calls and asks me how it went and I told her that I made things worse somehow. I get a call later from my mom saying that I better not call my grandmother and change my story or when i'm going, you're going wed, with her by yourself,that is what you really wanted anyhow, she and grandma would talk about it on Tues (the next day) on the way to a meeting about my grandfather. (He has Alzheimers and was recently moved from assisted living to the VA hospital)

    Tues/today:
    Mom and Grandma go the home and get shit straightned out and we all go to dinner at Fridays. Dinner is good until the end when something happens and my Grandma says something to my Mom like, "you really need to let some stuff go, you can't control everything" BOOM, we have fireworks at the restraunt. Mom replies that she doesnt like being lied to or talked about behind her back. Grandmother says that she's not sure that is what happened. Mom says that she shouldnt pry into our lives if she doesnt know both sides of the story. It goes on like this for a few minutes. I stay as silent and as still as possible. We pay and we walk outside and my Grandmother says to my Brother and I, I'm sorry I started all of this for you two, my Mom gives her a nasty look and grandmother continues and says, "because you two are the ones who have to put up w/ her, I get to go home" neither talk till we get back home. My brother and I leave as fast as possible to go lifting, Grandma and Mom are left home for two hours.

    I come back from lifting and and use my Moms cell phone to make a quick call and ask if she wants it shut off, she says no because Grandma is on the road and will call shortly to confirm that she got home alright. I'm thinking, "oh shit, they faught w/ eachother for the better part of 1 1/2 hours." I slink downstairs to hop on OT and see how the SNWS tourney went. She comes down 10 min later and unloads on me how I lied, went behind her back to bad talk her to her Mom, not give her the whole story about how I lied to her and i caused all this, when all I had to do was admit that I wanted to spend time w/ grandma alone int he first place. She told me it was unmoral and unethical to put her and her mother against each other and cause this problem. She yelled at me within 2 inches of my face "you will never do this again". She later said that she couldn't believe that I had no remorse for what I did and that she couldn't believe that I never fessed up, accepted fault, and never called my Grandma to appologize for what happened in the restraunt, because it was all my fault in the first place. She had to deal w/ her mom snipping at her all day and that it was all my fault.


    End note:
    I really didn't care if my mom and brother went to pick up the computer with us, she would have bugged me, but if she went it wouldn't have "bothered" me immensely


    I really dont know what happened here, I have two people wicked pissed at me, one of which I have to sit in the car w/ for an a couple hours with tomarrow to pick up the computer that she is buying for me. I don't think I did anything wrong... maybe I did and I didn't see it or don't realize it. I don't really know what my grandmother has to think about this because I havent talked to her yet, but I have a feeling i'm going to get an earful about it tomarrow. I'm really confused how this is all my fault, or what I did to fuck this whole situation up. maybe you guys can make more sense of this than I can.

    I appologise for the length and and rambling nature of this post, if you have any questions, please leave them in here and I'll try and answer then in a fair and unbiased manor. I'm really pissed at having people pissed at me for, in my opinion, no reason at all.


    excuse me while i try and edit out all the grammer and spelling mistakes
     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2006
  2. bigman7903

    bigman7903 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    10,161
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dystopia
    thank you, my main problem is that last night (monday) she said that she is done helping me prep for college, that because of this, and the way i have been treating her, she will no longer help, that means no help buying what i need, talkingto my father in order to get everything i need (car :x:, loans, etc.)

    all of this because of this situation, and i dont know what exactly i want to take to college and have made my opinion of this well known, i dont know what exactly i want to take with me because i have never lived on my own and have no idea what i will use untill i get itno it, so my answer was take the bare minimum and buy what i need when i need it instead of buying everything now and not using half of it

    no offense taken, the things i was calling her in my head were much worse
     
  3. Your mom knows that you will need things, that you will need HER. You are going to college!! Do you honestly think she will abandon you like that? I don't think so. Give her a few days, everything will work out. Remember you are leaving the house, you don't think she'll miss you? Her little boy is leaving to go to college, he's growing up... women are retarded... but its better than being a man :wiggle:
     
  4. bigman7903

    bigman7903 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    10,161
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dystopia
    true, she's going to lose it when i leave, uh i dunno, women think weird, logic > female confused rambling feelings

    I love my AV, i want to change it, but i can't find anything i like better
     
  5. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2003
    Messages:
    265,118
    Likes Received:
    142
    Location:
    Pearland, Texas
    basically
     
  6. Kreigore

    Kreigore New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2006
    Messages:
    352
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    PA
    Your mom is probably feeling insecure that her "baby boy" is growing up and going away to college; however, your mom does seem a bit psycho.

    Has she reacted/acted in this way in the past? There may be other stressors that may have caused her to go off the deep end.
     
  7. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Wow. Thank you. My mom looks like a saint now.
     
  8. IMJ

    IMJ The Bitch

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2001
    Messages:
    42,648
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Houston
    Wow...I personally do not think you did anything wrong. Hopefully your grandmother understands that it wasn't your fault.

    Let us know how the trip w/grandma goes.
     
  9. bigman7903

    bigman7903 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    10,161
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dystopia
    thank you guys for the replies, it makes me feel much better that i am not the only one thinking she went off the deep end here

    the trip went fine after i made a joke about it all and she basically agreed w/ you guys that she is a bit insecure about the whole college thing and that i should just let it go, that my mom has always been a bit overpowering in times of stress (which she is currently)

    thank you again, it makes me feel alot better about the whole situation
     
  10. bigman7903

    bigman7903 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    10,161
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dystopia
    :rofl: any time i can help
     
  11. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,650
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Charleston, SC
    Jeez your mom & grandma sound like mine. I gather they're mad at one another too (or were)? Mine havent talked to one another since April when my mom went to visit them in NJ, since she hadnt been there in nearly 2 years. Then they lash out about one another to me over the phone all the time (my mom and I barely talk, and I heard she was spewing shit about my bf not treating me good to the rest of my family who hasnt met him, then my mom says my g-ma is psycho and tries to pit me against her, ACK).

    Glad to read you got stuff worked out though, she definitely went off a ledge there with that shit. Sounds exactly like my mom can be, crazy over nothing. (I could write novels)
     
  12. bigman7903

    bigman7903 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    10,161
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dystopia
    oh yes, spitting fire, which is why my brother and i ran out of the house so quickly to go lift
     
  13. 88rover

    88rover New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2006
    Messages:
    1,821
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Michigan
    your mom is crazy, your gramma is innocent, and you didn't do anything wrong, she was looking for some reason to get mad at someone, and you were the target.
     
  14. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,650
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Charleston, SC
    exactly. my mom is that way too.

    shit right now my mom & g-ma (her mom) havent spoken in 3 months, and say they could give a shit less if they ever see or talk to one another again. and who gets stuck in the middle, and gets bitched at? :sadwavey:
     
  15. bigman7903

    bigman7903 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    10,161
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dystopia
    Thank you everyone for the help/advice, i really appreciate it. after all of this everything went back to normal, for now at least. My whole family has a lot going on right now so all of us are a bit stressed out and i'm sure that contributed to this, immensly.

    thank you again
     

Share This Page