SRS worst fucking day of my life and it seems to get worse

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by CarGoBOOM, Sep 10, 2006.

  1. CarGoBOOM

    CarGoBOOM Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2001
    Messages:
    60,898
    Likes Received:
    0
    I may have a child and my parents are splitting up, and my mom might have cancer

    seriously bad news comes in threes :rofl: :mad: :crying: and i dont care if no one cares I just have to vent

    OK first I get the news that my long departed ex g/f has a child that is mine but refuses to show him to me or have anything to do with me. tracking her down would be a hassle and a half and its damn near impossible since she kept various identities. and she always has the option to put me on child support but that dont matter cause i just wanna see my kid.

    THEN my mom calls me up and tells me she's leaving my dad cause he's an alcoholic asshole and he beat the shit out of her. she wants me to buy her a ticket to mexico to be with my grandma for a while and wants me to cut off all communication with my dad.

    THEN she tells me she doesnt like giving so much bad news but that she went to the doctor and he said she might have cancer. they were gonna go do tests this week but she's gonna get em done in mexico instead. she said the doctor told her that it was pretty serious. :crying:

    what the fuck man? what the hell did I do to deserve this shit in one fucking day?!?!? fuck! if theres a god up there im sure he fucking hates every single one of us and has an unstoppable vendetta against all mankind :mad: :mad: :mad:
     
  2. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2005
    Messages:
    7,670
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    MA
    It's just the initial shock of it all. You'll feel better with each day
     
  3. Placebo

    Placebo New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2005
    Messages:
    4,166
    Likes Received:
    0
    That really sucks, but keep your head up man. Keep looking forward.
     
  4. -argonaut-

    -argonaut- New Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2006
    Messages:
    3,025
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Stranded, NE of where you left me.
    When you've had some time to think about it and have given it all a chance to soak in you'll realize that you're better off both without her and the child, given the other shit you currently have going on in your life of a more pressing nature/some things that you can do something about.

    Don't sweat her or the support as she'll have to have a "test" before she can get you for support.

    This, focus on this as it is within your sphere of influence/some thing that you can do something about. Go and get your mother and check the shit out. If the situation is as reported, see about the opportunity for an intervention and getting your father into a treatment facility and away from your mother so that he can be "dried out" and get some counseling for his behavior towards your mother (the "beating") and so that she'll not have to worry about relocating while she seeks treatment options(which may actually lie in Mexico anyway).

    The thing is to get on top of what you can and stabilize your base, which is your immediate family/parents. This will help you greatly in clearing your mind and provide you with some possible insight into the issue with your ex that your mother or father may have..., wisdom of the elders and all that.
     
  5. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2002
    Messages:
    15,741
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Wellington, Florida Bitches!
    I would focus on my mom first. Get her checked out, maybe in the states instead of Mexico.

    If everything checks out ok then focus on your parents relationship.
     
  6. katt_85

    katt_85 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2004
    Messages:
    3,556
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Edmonton
    I agree that your main concern should be your mom. I know what it's like to find out your mother has cancer. Do they know what kind or have an idea of where it is? I hope this is something they managed to detect early on. Even if they didn't, there is hope. It can be a frightening thing going through all the uncertainty. She is probably really stressed out over her marital situation and this news.

    She probably has a better chance of getting quality treatment in the states than in mexico. Regardless, being with her mother would be good for her emotionally. Stress is not going to help her fight her physical battles. I can understand why she would want to go away. Chemotherapy can be scarry the first time she goes through it and there are a lot of side effects that go with it. She may even need surgery. She is going to need a quiet place to retreat to. It gets easier with time. However, chemotherapy is pretty simple to receive and could be done in mexico. Besides, if your father is beating her or she feels shes being abused, he will just end up causing her anxiety if they are around one another. Stress can impair her recovery. It's unfair of her to ask you not to contact him, but she's hurting. Deal with your father in what manner you think appropriate. Respect her decision to stay away from him and not contact him, though.

    While this is something you will not want to think about, and it's very hard to do, if she hasn't done so already she should get her legal affairs in order. I mean things like a personal directive, power of attorney and will. This isn't the end of the world. Her fight isn't over by a long shot. However, were something to happen she needs the peace of mind to know that her wishes are carried out. She doesn't have to feel like she's giving up her power to govern her life, since the personal directive and power of attorney can take place only after shes deemed unfit to make choices herself ( unless stated otherwise). I don't even know how much I bawled talking to my mom about "what ifs", but it's good to get it out of the way.

    It takes time to absorb the news. Just stay strong for her and let her know you are there for her. :hug:
     

Share This Page