Work relationship

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by sherman, Jan 7, 2007.

  1. sherman

    sherman New Member

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    What do you guys say? Yay or nay. Im sorta skeptical of a work relationship but i dont know. It has come to my attention that a girl I work with is interested in me from what my friend, whom i also work with, has been telling me. Now i work at a coffee shop and i think its not a good idea because if we have the same shifts we are always going to be in contact with each other. What do you guys think?
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    how long are you going to have the job? How long is she? How interested are you in her? Are you seeing anyone else at this time?
     
  3. sherman

    sherman New Member

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    Im planning to keep the job for a while, about a few years. I dont know about her but i assume she wants to stay there for a while. I could see myself having a relationship with her, and no, im not seeing anyone at the moment.
     
  4. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    The general rule of thumb is don't dip your pen in the company ink. However, my opinion differs slightly. Don't get into a work relationship unless you're prepared to leave your job over it, because a shitty breakup will feel 10x worse when you're stuck working with him/her and your breakup is the hot topic at the watercooler. Worse still, you could both be fired if your workplace isn't tolerant of romantic relationships between employees.

    It takes two strong and committed people to make a relationship work when you work together and honestly, the majority of people can't hack it. If you decide you're willing to take the risk (she'd better be worth it), maintain a strict separation of work and home life. Don't even think about flirting or touching while on work property - while you are at work, treat her as you would treat your other coworkers. She shouldn't have an issue with this, and in fact you should discuss this with her before pursuing the relationship seriously. A work relationship is harder than a regular one because you're always under management scrutiny for it. Looking at things from the management perspective, it's a liability to have two people on the same team in a relationship. If the relationship goes south you now have two people out-of-sorts whose performance will likely suffer and who now potentially can't work together, and that's not even considering the possibility of HR violations or harassment lawsuits when shit really hits the fan. If you misbehave at work by crossing the boundaries of acceptable behaviour, it's essentially a quick way for management to fire you if you're not performing and remove the liability to them, so you must always be on your best behaviour - no exceptions.

    FWIW I met my fiance at work. It worked out because a. our company is tolerant of employee relationships, and b. we followed this advice.
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2007
  5. JustaMeThang

    JustaMeThang New Member

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    It will only complicate things down the road. -work and personal life should be seperate.

    I enjoy going to work, being able to have that 9 hours each day, to myself. Dont get me wrong, I love my guy, but that time is unquestionably my time....and I couldnt have it any other way.
     
  6. sherman

    sherman New Member

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    Theres also the factor of seeing too much of one another right?
     
  7. sparq

    sparq New Member

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    Yes...

    Stay away from it. Its nice if you just have a quick fling; but serious? I wouldnt do it.
     
  8. Vom

    Vom OT Supporter

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    If you work directly don't. I have before and it just is not a good idea. If you don't work together, say you work in a larger store and you are in different departments where you won't see eachother all the time... Yes.
     
  9. sherman

    sherman New Member

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    Nope, store is small, always going to see each other
     
  10. Vom

    Vom OT Supporter

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    Don't then. Just make her like you even more... if she asks you out or something say you don't like to date coworkers because it becomes wierd after a while. Maybe she'll quit for you :rofl:
     
  11. sherman

    sherman New Member

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    So you guys confirm not to
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Yikes, working in close quarters...like a freaking coffee shop is just asking for disaster. Like when you guys get in a fight and have to spend the whole shift with each other, or break up and then have to work with each other, etc. etc.

    The kind of relationships that seem to survive working with one another are the ones where you don't have to see/interact with each other a lot
     
  13. sherman

    sherman New Member

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    This is what i am afraid of. Shes a great girl but im scared of those factors
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Oh of course. I mean people who are married or just in a very loving relationship get sick of working with their significant others. It just happens you dont seem to get space anywhere after a while.
     
  15. sherman

    sherman New Member

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    But im thinking this is going to be the best chance for me to find a nice girl. Im in college right now and the course i am taking is a pure sausage fest, so meeting girls in class has been ruled out. Im probably not going to meet girls any other way besides work because im a little on the shy side.
     
  16. sherman

    sherman New Member

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    Anymore advice?
     
  17. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Been there, done that.

    Won't do it again. Lost my promotion, nearly lost another job, lots of problems with management, etc.

    Sexual harassment allegations go a long way in this day and age.
     
  18. FrozenSTi

    FrozenSTi This site WILL get me in trouble......

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    Never dip your pen in the company ink. You are not an exception. Sorry, quit your job and try then.
     
  19. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    :werd: land your ass in jail.... I've seen it happen.
     
  20. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    I've tried that, and well it was most def. a life lesson. Something I won't repeat again. If by chance I find someone worth dating, I would need to be ready to leave my job for the realtionship to work (because I've come to find it can't function when you work together. This increases a high amount the closer you two have to work together) and given my job now, I'd never do that. I've never found myself in a position while dating someone new that I'd like to just jump blindly and rearrange my whole life around them.

    Trust me, don't do it.
     
  21. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    I should add... The sexual harassment claim came to fruition because (1) a girl we worked with was (2) friends with a guy who (3) was friends with a slacking woman who I was trying to get fired since I was the manager to all of them. When I started taking steps to get (3) fired, (2) got pissed because he was a pathetic piece of shit [although he was a genius at his job!] and told (1) to complain to my boss about sexual harassment. She (1) and I would hang out outside of work and were not involved since she was not my type, nor could I have even known how to make a move on a woman [this was before I knew what I know now!] So she complained and I got pulled into the big boss' office. They questioned me and I was CLUELESS as to what was going on. My manager and I figured it out after a while, and it was clear that this was political and an attempt to demoralize me and get me to be fired or quit. In the end I did some research and found out that their claims would not hold water, because in the state of Colorado sexual harassment claims can only be leveled against things that happen at WORK, and your right to privacy specifically forbids companies from bringing your off-duty issues into work. I hired a layer to write a letter saying that, basically, and if it came up again I would sue them.

    A week later management decided our entire team was too much of a problem, so they performed a security scan on our computers, and fired me for having disallowed software (only later to admit they found nothing on my computer, big surprise! :rolleyes: ), they suspended the rest of the team, they brought in a Federal investigator (this was a govt. office) and interrogated all the other employees, leveled charges of misuse of government time and equipment against (3), the woman I wanted fired, and fired two (2) and (3) and (4 - another guy) more people. Then the girl (1) who brought the complaint against me went into one of the cubes of the guy who got fired (4) to get some of his stuff, and was arrested for tampering with evidence in a federal investigation. I have no idea what happened to her after that, but she was 22-24 years old or so.

    Now stop and think for a second. Is this going to happen to you? No, probably not. It wasn't going to happen to me, either.

    This is about 25% of what happened to me over the course of 1.5 years. Believe me, I'd never do that again. It's NOT WORTH IT. :sadwavey:
     
  22. RuskeR

    RuskeR ReksuR

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    Unless your ready for it to complicate your life than don't do it. I've stayed away from work relationships. Too much drama.
     
  23. kawaiibunny

    kawaiibunny I

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    From personal experiences work relationships ARE BAD NEWS.

    The worst part is if you break up with that person you have to still
    see them every fucking day...



    I'll never date another person from work ever again.
     
  24. sherman

    sherman New Member

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    We are both part timers and this isnt an office thing. At most we get about a maximum of 2 shifts together a week
     
  25. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    I think someone is making excuses, and wants to learn the good old fashioned way ... the hard way.

    Give it a shot. Let us know what happens. It might work out. It might not. Only time will tell.

    I can only wish you better luck than I had.
     

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