Now, I'm not trying to tell you what to think, but I would like to shed some of my light on a matter. Decide for yourself how you want to take it into account, or if you even want to at all. Some of what I say may not fit in Vaginarium but rather On Topic, but it is directed at an ignorant attitude I often see in this sub forum. It is a combination of appealing life rules and guidelines I have plucked from different religions or people or thought of myself during the course of my life that I find suiting. This is not a guide. Here is an observation I have made, this is a generalistation. You want something from a man or a woman. You will allways get it faster and easier when you tell them what they want to hear and avoid the truth. Perhaps to increase your self importance and worth you want to make them as dependant to yourself as possible. You want a pet if you will, that will continue loving you regardless how bad you treat it. You want or need superiority, there is no other way. As the only real thing that could damage you, is to express your true feelings and thoughts. You do that then you lose control, you feel weak. Why is this? It doesn't trouble you to the least treating a person who isn't important to you like this. Let's look at it in another view. You're a parent, you have a daughter and for the sake of the arguement let's assume you give a shit about your child. Would you, the same person, want to subject your daughter to a relationship of that kind? No, you would not. You would protect your daughter from that or anykind of the sort untill your last breath. Treat others as you wish to be treated yourself. You are not the only one suffering in this world, there are people who have it much worse then yourself but find a way, a positive way to cope with it. Look at the big picture. Being treated like this could destroy a person, and I do believe it is quite the sympton.. That many become like them after being the vitcim of such an episode in an act of defense. :: We are all the same :: Do not presume you know or have something others don't. When you exploit someone or a situation to your own interest, someone else will lose something that should have been theirs, others pay the price of your actions. It is a natural balanse. Cause and effect if you will. This may not bother many or have meaning and it is easy to make exceptions when others are not aware and tell yourself it's ok when you risk losing nothing doing it. It is rarely convinient doing any such task in the right manner. It is not supposed to be easier, that is what makes it so important. People you don't know, strangers, those you can risk losing, do deserve some degree of your warmth, kindness and your consideration. People, regardless who, what they did and where they are in your life, hate them, love them, laugh with them, cry with them, sympathise with them, comfort them, fight them, despise them.. But above all have the decency to respect them as a human being. :: Live your life to your full extent :: You will be betrayed and get your heart broken. Sooner or later, it is unavoidable. Don't let yourself close up or stray from your path. Find the courage to do what you are afraid of, the courage to try again, again and again untill it finds you or you it. The courage to say what you feel, what you think, what someone means to you. You already have all the strength you need to continue. Take chances, the possibility is worth the stake. Life is pain, no amount of protection and defense will protect yourself from it. All you can do is lessen it to the expense of the quality of your life. Love is the greatest thing that you can have in life, you will never be complete without it. :: Walk your true road :: Right and wrong, good and evil is a point of view. There is no absolute answer to anything. And no such thing as perfection. The honest road, the honorable road or the rightious one in your mind will rarely be the more appealing looking one and the reward except from your dignity is vague and unclear at best. However it is the road that will have most meaningfull reward. It will heal you, raise your spirit and self worth, give you a drive and lust for life that no other roads would come close to. This is something you will be completly unaware of untill you try it. Do not let yourself be coerced and manipulated into others will. It can be difficult to oppose the will of many, it is allways in these times where it is most critical to be true to yourself, your beliefs and principals. This is when they count and matter.