SRS Wondering if you guys can help me. (anonymous post)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Darketernal, Oct 9, 2008.

  1. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Basically, me and my gf were together about for about a year. We had our problems, but for the most part we were happy.

    One of the biggest issues which has come up is the fact we are at different places in our lives, I just finished school and still looking for a job, and she has been a nurse for 2 years, making lots of money obviously.

    When we first got together, she was okay with everything, and basically took the bulk wise financially, like when we would go out and etc.

    In turn, I did what I could for her, take care of her dog, do laundry, and random things like that. I even helped her buy a car, because her credit was bad, and basically put her car under my name. And we share a phone bill.

    The last couple months in our relationship things began to go downhill, because i was still struggling to find a job, and she felt I was not trying hard enough.

    So fast forward, we broke up, and she began seeing someone else. Despite this, we still hung out and tried to make it work, but I got extremely jealous and she could not take it...

    I know that she still loves me, but her new guy makes her life easier, because he makes a lot of money and all that. She has told me time and time again she will probably regret what she is doing.

    So my question is.. I am very much in love with this girl, and i want so much to make it work. Should I be fighting for her? I've been trying to show her that i've changed... I've lost weight, and have gotten some job interviews lined up, and hopefully soon I will have a decent job.

    I've been torn... if i should just let her go... If I should fight for it.
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Dude, if she really loved you, she would be fighting to make it work too, and not seeing some other guy.

    The fact that she still hangs out with you shows she has no problem using you.

    99% of the time, you can't break up with someone and still hang out with them...you have to cut off contact with them so you can get over them.

    Why fight to be with her? She's made her decision and moved on...there's no point to keep trying to make it work.
     
  3. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    she likes the other guy financially and she likes you emotionally

    don't bother with her, drop ties. bad idea helping her get a car too btw
     
  4. Avenger97

    Avenger97 New Member

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    yea. speaking from experience.. dont ever help a GF get a car.. i did it too.. and now i'll be paying for that lapse in judgement for a very long time...

    as for the girl.. i gotta say.. cut all ties and move on , i know its not easy, Im trying to do the same thing right now , and its prob one of the hardest things i have ever had to do.. it sucks.. but its the only way to move on.
     
  5. amourdoux

    amourdoux New Member

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    I don't see how she can be seeing someone else but still be in love with you. She's basically using the other guy for money and is using you for emotional support and the kind things you do for her. Don't see her anymore. If sense doesn't knock into her, then she's not worth your time. It's sad you were with her for that long. If she loved you, she really would have tried to make things work out, no matter what. I was jobless when I first got with my boyfriend. He was really supportive and helped me get a job after a few months. I hope you and her can work things out. But if not, then you deserve better.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Stop thinking about fixing your life for her now that you've lost her, start thinking about fixing your life for yourself. If she comes back she comes back :dunno:
     
  7. Avenger97

    Avenger97 New Member

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    I just wanted to add a lil more into this. since its something that i am kinda going thru right now. A similar situation as yours , but i was the one working, and she wasnt..

    we went thru some very very good, and very very difficult times together, but for the 1st year and a half , we never fought or even raised our voices,

    during one of our breakups ( she had pretty much pushed me out of our apartment , due to a hard time with a custody battle for her daughter) i found out she was sleeping with somone else.. even tho she denied it the whole time.. we moved on, and i tried to forgive.. she said it was just a physical thing , after a night of drinking, and it wasnt anything more.. I just found it hard to believe anything she said after that.. the trust was broken , and im not sure if its ever able to come back.

    trying to cut contact with my now ex GF now.. and its just as hard to do . because i know i do love her.. and she does love me.. but she doesnt put me where i deserve to be as her "boyfriend" and others get in the way so i felt it was best to end it , as much as it hurts.. there generally isnt any saving it..
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Because she's not in love with the TS. People who are "in love" don't leave their SO because they don't make enough money. She may have love for him, but she's not in love with him. This new guy she is dating provides for her and sadly she's the kind of woman that only wants a man to provide for her and give her security. I'm assuming our TS is a little bit younger and less experienced and the woman is tired of that :dunno:
     
  9. Mr. Pelham

    Mr. Pelham Guest

    First order of business is to get out of that contract as fast as possible

    No, she doesn't.

    You're better off, she went for money, not love.

    No, she won't. She's lying to you. :hs:

    No, you should move on. Why?

    sorry to be so harsh, but in times like this you need something or someone to shake it up and tell you like it is. You really should move on, things will get better.
     
  10. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    Like everyone else said move on b/c she has already. I've been in her situation many times and I will admit it does put a strain on the relationship when I'm the one making all the money and my SO is broke or has no job.

    Transfer your name off that car too, do that ASAP its your credit on the line here.
     
  11. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Thanks for everyone's advice. I guess I already did know the answer to this but I was too stubborn to know it. We also go to the same church, so I thought it was God who brought us together. If anything, I'll just take this as another life lesson.
     
  12. Mr. Pelham

    Mr. Pelham Guest

    Believe that God will bring you together with another soon.
     
  13. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    If you believe a god could bring you together why couldn't it decide it's time for you to go your separate ways?
     
  14. Mr. Pelham

    Mr. Pelham Guest

    Live in the light of certain south cruel bindings
     
  15. marvd00d

    marvd00d Gonzalez>Swine Flu

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    I gotta stop hiding. Anyways I am trying to cut off all contact, which is very hard. She also rents out a room from my brothers condo, which I live 5 minutes from, so I have a hard time not wanting to go there and try to talk to her.

    I'm not sure If I should call her again about our situation regarding separating our phone bills, car situation, and other random stuff.

    When I did try to talk to her about it on Tuesday, she said she would do the phone stuff online, and actually got angry about the car thing, because she said would not be able to find a lender to take her bad credit. The loan/insurance is also under my name. So she basically got pissed and we have not spoken since.

    The past two days have been extremely hard for me, because all I think about is her and the new guy, and how he has money and all that, and it hit me self-esteem wise. Also, I'm hurt on the fact that she has not called or anything to see how I'm doing. It's shocking how fast she stopped caring, and it really hit me hard.

    I'm trying to keep busy and not think about it, but boy is it tough! I have no choice but to get through it. I think my big problem is that I continue to hope that she will somehow find her way back to me, which is very stupid. Gotta shake it...

    Thanks again people :hug:
     
  16. marvd00d

    marvd00d Gonzalez>Swine Flu

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    Is it normal to get freakin anxiety attacks? i hate this..


    edit: Of all people, my step dad sat me down and spoke to me. He had two wives cheat on him, and he described the same exact feelings I'm going through right now. He eventually found my mom, who is a awesome awesome person.

    I'm feeling positive I'll find someone too!

    It's not the end of the world dammit!
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2008
  17. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Take care of the car shit RIGHT NOW. Get that ungrateful bitch out of your life/credit. Don't ask her, just do it. Let her new "rich" bf help with her car issues, it's not your job and you never should've done it in the first place.
     
  18. marvd00d

    marvd00d Gonzalez>Swine Flu

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    Yeah, I'm going to see her Sunday so I will talk to her about it again. This is going to be ugly, but it must be done.
     
  19. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    werd...too bad for her if no one will take her bad credit, but she doesn't get to break up with you and still have you helping out with bills, car, phone, etc.
     
  20. Mr. Pelham

    Mr. Pelham Guest

    I agree.

    I'm not sure how this would work, but couldn't you just repo the car since it is in your name, sell it and pay off the note?
     
  21. marvd00d

    marvd00d Gonzalez>Swine Flu

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    I have no idea..... I really worried honestly because she could just stop paying the car and give it back to me.. which would suck so much balls.

    I'm not sure if she is that kind of person, but after whats happened, I would not be surprised.

    I'm trying to make the effort to cut her out, but holy crap I invested so much in the relationship, I put every egg and my nuts in the basket.

    We'll see what happens.
     
  22. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Why would you ever "fight" for someone? What would that possibly do? If someone is the right one for you then you wouldn't have to fight to be with them, they would just want to be with you. When a guy says he's going to fight for someone it means he thinks life is like the movies where you do some cheesy romantic BS and she suddenly is back in love with you again. Real life doesn't work like that...
     

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