Women: how would you like to be rejected?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by JohnJohnJohnson, Nov 30, 2006.

  1. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    The situation is that this girl calls me up every three months, and the following happens.

    me: "Hello?"
    her: "Hi."
    me: "Who's this?"
    her: "This is Jane."
    me: "Oh. What's up?"
    her: "Not much."
    silence
    silence
    [me: ??]
    me: "So ... how is school?"

    Anyways she asked me out one time two years ago or so, and at that time i lied and said i wasn't looking for a relationship right now :o. The thing is I feel like girls' feelings can get hurt so easily, I didn't want to just flat out say, "I'm not interested" at that time, and I didn't think fast enough to phrase it nicely, so I lied; also, I figured since girls are the take-a-hint masters she would take a hint

    Now the thing is, I have absolutely no problem with her calling me and talking about nothing or whatever. Why would I give a shit? What bugs me is that this girl is probably holding a candle for me so to speak and I don't want her to keep thinking something will happen when nothing will ever happen.

    However at this point it's been, like I said, 2 years or so, and I'm not sure how to a) let her know nothing will happen b) let her know i don't mind her calling; but nothing will happen.

    Not that big a deal but she called me again last night and I feel bad. And awkward
     
  2. ~QueenBee~

    ~QueenBee~ OT Supporter

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    and she still hasnt caught on??? :rolleyes:

    most women would have been able to see that by now you arent interested. Honestly dont know what to say...maybe just flat out tell her... hey its good to be acquaintences but I dont see the possibility of anything further then that. Then if she inquires more info, fill in the blanks.
     
  3. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    If she's ugly, she might not recognize the hints because she doesn't have to use them herself. Just ignore her calls- thats the best way to get the point across without actually telling her CLEARLY that you're not interested.
     
  4. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    it is odd that she hasn't taken the hint, but i'll be honest, i think it's always better to be straight with people... it'll hurt her feelings a lot more if she has to wonder about you for years than if you just tell her exactly how you feel.
     
  5. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :werd:
    that is so fucked up
     
  6. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    Are you good friends with her? When I call someone and they don't call me back, I figure they're busy or don't want to talk to me. After a couple of un-returned phone calls I know its because they don't want to talk to me. You should CLEARLY tell her you're not interested, or don't take her calls.
     
  7. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    she's just this random person i barely know. i took her with me one time to demonstrate to her how to sell stuff to people for my job.
     
  8. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    If you barely know her, I would just ignore her calls.
     
  9. shangrilarcadia

    shangrilarcadia A lady

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    Is she trying to flirt with you when she calls? How do you know she is "holding a candle" for you instead of just calling you so she has someone to talk to?
     
  10. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    i'm just afraid that she is. she doesn't know me the slightest little bit, she showed interest early on. she doesn't have anything to say when she calls. it just feels that way
     
  11. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    JJJ,

    You're an adult. She's an adult. Save yourself some time and effort, next time she calls, just tell her. Be polite and respectful, but be clear.

    Sure, her feelings might be hurt, but if she's a mature adult woman, she's had her feelings hurt before. She'll survive.
     
  12. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    Be direct. Men shouldn't reject women the way they reject us.





    Unless they have done something offensive, in which case it's okay to mess with their heads for sheer amusement.
     
  13. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    If you know how to reject a woman correctly, sometimes they'll want you even more.
     
  14. shangrilarcadia

    shangrilarcadia A lady

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    If you dont want her calling you anymore, outright tell her. But if you are cool with being buds, just dont want to be more, I don't see why you would "reject her" when she hasnt expressed interested or even tried to flirt with you recently. Rejecting implies something has been requested (her having interest a long time ago doesnt count - people can loose interest, so only recent actions should count).
     
  15. bimmer318

    bimmer318 I'm out of applesauce

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    Do this: Tell her "OK your getting annoying with your calling every day, can you stop." Short and sweet and to the point.
     
  16. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I just want it to be clear that there is no interest, and if she still wants a person to call randomly every three months then that's totally cool with me
     
  17. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    This sounds like the chick I met in college (what, 10 years ago?) who still tries to contact me, and does the same thing. She's stalking me, basically.

    I strongly recommend 100% ignore.
     
  18. Elaine

    Elaine New Member

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    I think you should be direct, but not out of the blue. Wait for the moment. Wait til she brings it up.

    Otherwise, just ask as if you're just friends. In fact, ask her stuff like, "Do you think I have a shot with __?" She'll get the hint a little more quickly.
     
  19. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    If you give her attention, she will continue. It's called positive reinforcement. Think about it. The more you talk to her, the more she will enjoy it - that's her goal!
     
  20. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I don't care if she continues, as long as she knows I'm not romantically interested. I'm going w the direct approach Matt & others have suggested.
     

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