Women are slippery creatures! v. semi-date-break

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by huntz0r, Feb 9, 2006.

  1. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    Talked to a match on OKC last week and set up teh big meet for tonight. She asks me to email her on the specified day. I'm thinking, oh great, online version of the old call-to-confirm trick. Danger Will Robinson! But I tell her okay, sign off, and maintain radio silence.

    So today she doesn't get my email. (It bounced. Oops.) And having no other way to contact me, she sends a message to me about 4:30p on OKC mail (which I tend not to check unless I get the new mail notification they send when you have a message and haven't logged in for a day after it arrived) asking if the date is still on (why wouldn't it be?) and to reply or call (phone number attached).

    Naturally, I didn't get this message until now. Predictably, she didn't show up. I waited around for 25 minutes and then had to book to get to a lesson, but they screwed up my reservation and had to reschedule, so now I'm home. I digress.

    There are three possibilities I see as likely:

    1) She intended to break the date, but since she didn't hear from me, she didn't get the chance to. huntz0r - 1 ; duplicitous chick - 0

    2) She has such low interest in me that she wasn't going to show unless prodded.

    3) She has such low self-esteem that she assumed I forgot all about the date.

    None of these are winning scenarios, and two of the three bode poorly for her interest in me. I think I will still proceed with caution at this point as it's not entirely clear what the deal is, and there may be other possibilities I didn't consider, and I'm not going to consider dates made sight-unseen to be quite as ironclad as dates made after meeting in person.

    Thoughts?
     
  2. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Men are 'slippery creatures' also.
    Didn't bother reading thread.
     
  3. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    Uptight much?
     
  4. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :dunno: you're thinking too much, imo...

    call her. basically it was a miscommunication all around. people say things like "mmkay, next saturday night, dinner at x restaurant at y'oclock," all the time when they really have no intentions with keeping up the follow through. :( she might've thought that you were all talk, or... perhaps you forgot.

    just call and reschedule. ;) don't read into it :)
     
  5. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    I'm going to call today.

    You'd think someone who is interested would show up anyway. I mean, if I was Pierce Brosnan I bet she would be there whether she got an email or not. ;) I'm only 4 miles away from her according to OKC, so it's not like it would waste the whole night if she went to look.
     
  6. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    i didn't make it all the way through, but ANY TIME a woman who you are starting to see tells you to email or call to confirm a date, YOU MUST REFUSE.

    No hesitation, no deliberation, no compromise. "Nope. I'm always where I say I'm going to be and I'm never late or have an excuse. If you can't extend me the same courtesy then we aren't going to be able to be friends."

    You don't have to word it that way or be quite as much of a dick (for some reason being a dick works really well for me).

    But you have to send her the message that you are aware that chicks flake and its not something you tolerate for even a second. Her asking you to confirm is bullshit and you have to call her on her bullshit. She is testing you from the start and you have to pass.
     
  7. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Yeah, the call to confirm is BS. That's her way of saying "Hey, some other guy/my boyfriend might be taking me out, but if he bails you can be my backup plans." Is this true all the time? Of course not, but as a rule if I get that line I retort with "Hey, I tell you what. Why don't you let me know if you can make it or not right now, because all I'm hearing is excuses. Excuses mean no, and if you don't want to go out with me I'll find something else to do. So, what is it - are we going out or not?" This will put her on the spot rather quickly, blows through the BS, and gets you dates.

    I just did that two nights ago to ask out a waitress at a bar I was at. I found out afterwards that I was only the third guy in something like 2.5 years that she'd ever gone out with after knowing for only 15 minutes. :bigthumb:
     
  8. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    Called and there was no answer.

    Future earnings expectations drop.

    Developing...
     
  9. NismoOwnsYou

    NismoOwnsYou Guest

    You never "finalized" things with her so she didn't know if she should show up or not. It's a simple mistake. It's ALWAYS a good idea to call before you meet up to make sure everything is cool.

    I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY TWO PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING ON A DATE ARE COMMUNICATING WITH EMAIL TO BEGIN WITH.
     
  10. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    She's not interested. Did you leave a message? If so, what did you say?
     
  11. dark cloud

    dark cloud New Member

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    I'd call and say "Oh, i'm so sorry that i stood you up. Let's plan something again so I can make it up to you." Even if she stood you up, it makes you a) not look needy and b) she's going to go say yes because she realizes you'll probably buy her stuff i.e. dinner. Then of course you bring her to your house for teh win.

    edit: just realized she didn't answer your call, has she called you back yet?
     
  12. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    I know better than to leave a message. But I did send her an email around noon today.

    "My email bounced, but I didn't see that until later. I tend not to check OKC unless it tells me i have mail, which takes a day.

    However, I don't know why you would assume the date was off and not show up... unless you were just looking for an excuse to cancel.

    If you should actually *want* to go out with me, maybe we can arrange it. If not, it was nice talking to you.

    -h"

    No word back, so that's probably end of story.

    Otherwise she'll have to ask me out at least twice before I'm not "busy" ;)

    Even if I could get a cheap thrill out it... F that.
     
  13. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    Oh lordy. Today I got a 180-word email from her explaining all the reasons she didn't go and how she's busy at work and she's sorry for the mix-up, blah blah blah.

    It's a very familiar sort of email, the type that would have given me false hope in a past life. There was no offer to make up the date, minimal apology, and tons of excuses.

    So that's it. No mas, baby.
     
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2006
  14. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Bravo. Good to see through all the BS, isn't it? Go hang with some buddies and you'll get over it pretty soon.
     

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