Willing to walk away

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Limited Edition, Apr 8, 2007.

  1. Limited Edition

    Limited Edition New Member

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    How do you give the impression you're willing to walk away from the relationship at anytime based on her attitude without telling her verbally?

    I made the mistake of telling her. So naturally she tested me and I walked. :ioj:
     
  2. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    As you've discovered, don't verbalize it.

    Wait until she does something you dislike, then punish her by withdrawing your time and attention.

    When we were dating my wife hung up on me, so I wouldn't take her calls, and when she came over to my place, I completely ignored her until she apologized.
     
  3. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    For the sake of my curiosity: can we get some backstory here?
     
  4. Limited Edition

    Limited Edition New Member

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    Ok. Didn't know if there was more to it than the punish the behavior you dislike and reward the behavior you want.
     
  5. Placebo

    Placebo New Member

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    That is pretty much it and when you stop apologizing for yourself and get rid of the general pussyshit behavior of a doormat. Not in anyway saying that is how you are. I wouldn't know because I don't know you, but that is what I generally see when friends of mine and the like have this type of problem.
     
  6. WGD87

    WGD87 New Member

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    I can't see how that is a good thing to want to make the point that you are willing to walk at any moment. Wouldn't it make more sence to just take things as they come and handle them. Then if it works out that you want to walk, just do it? I think making that point is going to make you look bad to whatever degree small or large. Not that you are bad for feeling that way. I just don't think any girl wants to feel like they could possibly do something wrong or get mad about the wrong thing and the guy would just walk no sweat.
     
  7. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    If it gets that way then you're just being a bitch about little things that don't matter.

    We're talking like, if she lies or cheats on you or steals from you or other major offenses you're not going to take that shit. Her knowing that although you love her, you also love yourself, and she'd better not disrespect and abuse you.

    Not that you're gonna leave her because she eats crackers in bed.
     
  8. audrey

    audrey New Member

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    Punishment? You're a hard man Yail.
     
  9. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    take away your time and attention, as yail said.

    one of my huge pet peeves was girls "taking their space" ("i need some time alone"). granted, this hasn't happened in years since i got my act together but i found a counter for it. when they'd take space i'd mark the time. lets say they contact me 48 hours later. i'd wait the exact same time to contact them. by this time they are usually pretty shaken up, thinking that their acts may have driven me away (even if that was the purpose, the moment they realize they may have involuntary lost me instead of deliberately, they freak). depending on the circumstances i'd either pretend i was just busy and it was no big deal, or tell her this is the first and last time she pulls that shit. either way its never failed, but i disagree with the fear tactics in my own advice. just sharing.
     
  10. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    When you say "taking their space" do you mean a kind of "break" or them just wanting time alone? Because wanting time alone is normal and good for relationships.
     
  11. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    I keep my power for myself.

    If she wants to trip about some bullshit, she doesn't get to spend time with me.

    That word "punishment" bothers you, doesn't it?
     
  12. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    no, just having your own time was always fine. but the "i need some time to think about things" type deal is what i was referring to. like when its actually a very verbalized "i need some time alone" or "i need a break".

    once i used this tactic they all bounced back. if i was playing softball i pretended i did nothing wrong. if i was playing hardball i'd tell them it was their punishment. they'd usually get furious and i'd use more scare tactics, hang up the phone in their face, not pick up, wait till they drove over to my place and yell, etc.

    granted this was at the end of high school... so take it with a grain of salt.

    now i never use scare tactics anymore because i've grown up. Also because i grew up, i never hear those words from girls anymore. maybe they grew up too :)
     
  13. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I think that is seriously one of the most rude things you can do.

    Getting fucking pissed and saying "I'm pissed, I don't want to talk right now, bye" and hanging up is ok.

    Getting pissed and just hanging up = not ok.
     
  14. WGD87

    WGD87 New Member

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    Well it should already be obvious if you cheat on someone your going to have to say goodbye and if that isn't what happens well.. Someone needs to do some major thinking about how much they actually mean to eachother.
    I don't think being cheated on is forgivable mostly because I think in order to cheat something about how you feel about your b/f or g/f is not there or you wouldn't do it. Secondly if you are seeing someone immature enough to claim they were too fucked up to control themselves (outside of like.. date rape or something) you deserve better.. Who is to say that wouldn't happen again if they were that stupid.
    People DO know better.. If you get fucked up and kill someone they don't accept it and say don't do it again.. But why is it that people use that excuse for cheating and it is okay?
    Sorry that got offtopic but.. I dunno..
    I wouldn't bother saying anything in that case because if the girl doesn't see that as common sense anyway she isn't worth dating in the first place.
    As for minor things... Just fight about it... or talk.. or whatever feels natural and if you are serious about not having a problem walking, but she is worth your time enough to be something.. the message will be there I think because of how you handle it. Just shy away from hinting at it unless you feel it totally necessary.. And I don't know.. if you really have to say it... is it worth saying even?
     
  15. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    Well I'm talking extremes, should be obvious.

    But, basically, it means you ain't gonna put up with her doing wrong and disrespecting you, but it doesn't mean you flip out over trivial shit that doesn't matter.
     
  16. ledzep73

    ledzep73 New Member

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    :werd:
     
  17. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Aww I'm disappointed, I was expecting some response to the "hard man" comment :mamoru:
     
  18. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    :werd:
     
  19. audrey

    audrey New Member

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    Yes, but I agree with what you said re: deserving an apoligy.
     
  20. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    He doesn't mean punishment in the typical way you would think of. Punishment is a psychology term-it just means something that you do to decrease the occurence of a behavior.
     

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