SRS Will someone please tell me I have nice stuff!

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by FyreDaug, May 17, 2006.

  1. FyreDaug

    FyreDaug lolswift

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2006
    Messages:
    23,228
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    I seem to have this thing where im not happy with my stuff, but I keep trying to think of how others have it, and it seems like im ahead. And by all means I dont mean to "brag" about my things here, im just going to list what ive got and someone can tell me if I need to get newer stuff.... Im sick of spending all my money all the time.

    My car:
    1987 honda accord hatchback. Has a sunroof which is cool, but no AC or power steering. JVC Mp3 deck with MB Quart PCE216 speakers up front, powered by a 550w amp. In the back I have a custom box holding my 12" Type R that I push 1000w to (and somehow managed to get this sub up to 143.7db) and Ive also got a 10" sub facing forward powered by 200w. And I seriously think my car sounds amazing, I havent heard a system like this for quite some time.

    My pad:
    900sq ft 2bdroom apartment that me and gf share. We (I) use the spare bedroom to build things, its like my project room.
    Ive got a 50" Magnasonic tv (cheap end, but its got 5yr warranty..) full 5.1 sound system, xbox 360, decent shitty furniture.
    customer computer I built last summer, it was top of the line, since then I upgraded ram to 2gb. Printer, scanner, wireless kb/mouse. 21" screen (also hooked up to tv through component aswell) and a 10mbit (apparantly) connection through shaw extreme

    Things that came with the pad:
    Noisy AC on the wall
    basement suite
    fridge,stove, washer, dryer, dishwasher.

    THe place seems to have plenty of space, I just cant seem to be happy with the things I got. Now dont get me wrong, im not "well off" either, I had to work for my things, but I never usually sell things so ive always got a bunch of stuff around...


    WHY THE HELL IS IT I CANT BE HAPPY WITH WHAT I HAVE?
    Seriously, it drives me insane and pisses me off at the same time... but I KNOW I have some decent stuff, maybe you can tell me too?
     
  2. Arclight

    Arclight Hypercube

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2004
    Messages:
    19,688
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto
    I didn't even read your post where you list your stuff. The answer to your problem is simple: Stuff doesn't bring happyness. You can be a bum and have basically nothing and be as happy as can be. I've seen it. Basically you need to find something in life that makes you happy.

    Don't seek others' approval for your things. No matter what you have you can find someone to tell you that it's either a piece of shit or the greatest thing in the world. In other words, other people's opinion of your stuff is essentially meaningless.

    As long as you find something that makes you happy in your life then you can be equally happy with whatever you have. :wavey:
     
  3. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2005
    Messages:
    1,047
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Land of Provincialism
    I once complained I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.
     
  4. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Becuase for most people the 'grass is always greener on the other side'. ;)
     
  5. johan

    johan Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2003
    Messages:
    5,123
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite
    I agree you sound unhappy, but the cause is likely not the amount or quality of stuff you have.

    Oh sure, the lack of stuff can cause physical hardship and unhappiness, but it seems like you have an average and normal standard of living.

    I agree that wanting more or better stuff is a common cause of 'unhappiness', at least many people would report that.
    But what underlies that thought?

    I think that even the rabid brand conscious consumer, if he/she were truly honest and introspective enough, would find that there is something deeper there.

    "Having cooler stuff" is not really a core value, and real happiness comes from satisfying those core values. Like being needed or wanted, feeling useful, providing for something larger than yourself.

    These abstract feelings or concepts translate into life milestones such as your first child being born.
    Receiving that big promotion. Saying I DO to your beautiful and loving wife. Watching your son graduate from university with honors.

    I hope this provides a framework and helps to illustrate of trite and oft used saying "happiness comes from within".
    Which is true enough, but the very next question is...how??. Core values. Not shallow surface glitter.

    I hope this helps.



    PS For those inclined to research, look into Erikson and 'generativity'. Enjoy.
     
  6. Colonel Panic

    Colonel Panic New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2005
    Messages:
    2,032
    Likes Received:
    0
    Your priorities are fucked-up.

    You sunk a fortune in a car that is a piece of shit, a basement in the slums, and you wonder why you're still miserable. :rolleyes:

    Invest in an education and build character. No-one cares about your material stuff.
     
  7. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2005
    Messages:
    790
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm reading this little $7 paperback called "The Richest Man in Babylon" from advice I saw lurking here on OT. I suggest you give that a shot too...great read.
     
  8. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
  9. Replicant

    Replicant New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2006
    Messages:
    30,515
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    OK
    Damn, I just read the whole thing.

    No coffee either. :cool:
     
  10. FyreDaug

    FyreDaug lolswift

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2006
    Messages:
    23,228
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    Sunk a fortune? Ive had pretty much all this stuff in a bunch of my cars... and the car is good, for 1300 bucks it hasnt had many issues (balljoint once, but I shouldve fixed them before) and I get good milage... plus that stuff can easily come out... as it has before, so its not "stuck" to the car. Plus Ive had peopel ask if I was selling my car and I said "maybe" and I was offered 1500+... And they go for more than what I paid, so its not like ive lost money with this car yet...

    Basement in the slums? Its not slums, its actually the east side (best side of town) and its a decent apartment.

    Education ive pretty much got, but nothing is hiring here. Ive got A+, MSCE certs, and Ive run my own business installing carputer systems in cars.... but apparantly the demand around here is shitty, so im working at a pizza place... delivering. But the good thing is they dont pay hourly, its a per-run basis. Slow nights I make like 8/hr busy nights its like 25+/hr... Minus gas and shit ofcourse, but the busy nights are what is keeping me there. I used to manage this place before I went to work for apple, which sucked hardcore ass and I hated it, so I came back here and its under new ownership and stuff, but since I had "managerial" experience working with their company they pretty much gave me what hours whenever I want and I can take time off whenever I want... Its not the same as managing (and on same days, this pays better than the 14/hr I was getting before) but its nice and flexible and I enjoy doing it. Working here rather than apple makes me happy I suppose. I can work less (them paying me 10/hr) and get paid more... Seems like a win-win for me..

    But its still pizza delivery...

    Oh well, I plan to move to BC soon, and since Ive got some good "pizza experience" on my resume, alot of places are hiring, so I can atleast be guaranteed some sort of job for the time being... but ofcourse ill move there with a pocket full of money to start up my life....

    Laugh or not, im serious I want to move to BC to pursue a racing career. And just enjoy life there. Ive never had a beach or anything before, and I plan to go live by one in victoria or vancouver. I dont like saskatoon, its so boring. My gf is coming with me, and my best friend (roadkill_ak_47 on here) agreed he would move later too, we were both talking about this bc thing for a while, I just might be ready before he is.... I dont want to leave a whole lot behind though, and moving everything will suck... but thats another topic..
     
  11. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2002
    Messages:
    59,955
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    Go Dodger Blue!
    It's not easy learning to be content with what you have. I was like you where I had plenty of great material things but none of it ever made me happy. Not even improving things such as adding a new system to my car made me happy. I realized that I needed to set different priorities and just learn to be content with something that's comfortable for me instead of being extravagant or pushing the envelope.

    I've since done a lot of things to save money which has made me a lot happier. The car that I drive now is a lot less than what I could actually afford and I have kept it completely stock. When I moved into my new apartment I didn't bother getting a TV or couch. I watch everything on my laptop and sit on an old futon. And I'm happier than ever.
     
  12. Matt550

    Matt550 New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2001
    Messages:
    8,569
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Littleton Colorado
    I went to South Beach a few years ago with my church group and did some work with homeless people. I met this homeless couple. They told me they have never been happier in their lives, they had everything they "needed" not wanted.

    It made me take a really deep look at what it means to be ahppy, and having stuff is not going to make you happy.
     
  13. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2002
    Messages:
    14,017
    Likes Received:
    0
    Your attachment to your stuff is what is making you unhappy. The fact that you list it all here in the Asylum... makes me think that you need to give all your stuff away to be happy. Keep only what you absolutely need. The basics.
     
  14. FyreDaug

    FyreDaug lolswift

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2006
    Messages:
    23,228
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    That may be an eye opener, but I sure as hell dont want to do that... Im going on a trip to BC next month, me and GF. We plan to make it a 2 week trip, but only 1 week actually in BC. We are going with a thousand dollars and Ive got it figured out that itll cost <160 to get there, couple nights in a motel or something usually 50 each that by the time we get to bc we'll still have like 700 dollars that we can spend going out and having a good time, not worrying about anything.... I think that would be good for me... and its too bad we cant have even more money because I want to spend everything I can to see what money can really do for me... I spend most of my time earning this "money" and ive yet to spend it how I want... all these items are just items... I think your right.

    As for my car though, if im having a bad time, I go into to it to escape and listen to music, its so loud and so bueatifully sounded that I love it..... video games computer and tv are a little different. I love music
     
  15. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2002
    Messages:
    14,017
    Likes Received:
    0
    I've never been happier than when I only owned what I could carry on my back. Seriously. And then I gave all that stuff up for 10 days, and that was even better. You don't need your stuff, beyond the essentials for your healthy survival. Some time ago, I stopped buying things. Well, let me justify that: I still buy things neccessary for my business. I buy food, and I buy beer (my weakness). But I don't often buy new things. And its great not to have to, cause I don't want stuff anymore.
     
  16. johan

    johan Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2003
    Messages:
    5,123
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite
    He's a long ways off from that awakening. It's not for everyone. Not in their current lifetime anyways.
     
  17. FyreDaug

    FyreDaug lolswift

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2006
    Messages:
    23,228
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    Id love to do that... well temporarily, just to experience it, but I dont think id want to give up all my stuff. Id like to go backpacking in australia or someplace where I start with a backpack with some clothes, some food, maybe a map and some money and try to survive. Atleast with something like that I can pull the plug when I have to (if I have to) and go back to my normal life if that doesnt work out. I cant just blindly give everything up and try to survive.
     
  18. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Fyre what did you think of the stories in the links i gave you? I know no one is eager to click links , but i personally think that the contents can provide you growth which can be ridden you of your materialstical needs.

    Remember everything that you have in life is nothing more then sand in your hand, you cannot hold on to it forever, you must accept that it will slip away from your hand one day and that you should be spiritually detached from materialistical empathie when that time comes.
     
  19. FyreDaug

    FyreDaug lolswift

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2006
    Messages:
    23,228
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    to be honest I only read one or two.... if its dead at work (leaving right away) which it probably will be, ill give it another shot.

    I know what you mean by its just sand in my hand, but for the current time its mine, and its in my hand, and currently, its not sand... So I should enjoy the things I have.

    With the tv and 360 I kinda went to the store and bought it... I put some thought into it as I do most of the time, and it was a pretty good deal for what I got so I wanted to jump on it. And got rid of my shitty 23" tube tv... this tv did increase my happiness. I hated watching tv on the little screen and I enjoy it much more now.... why is it that it makes me happy but at the same time it doesnt? Maybe ill find out when I read that link, but so far I havent read it all, so thats why im asking
     
  20. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2005
    Messages:
    790
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well, they say the relationship between money/materials vrs happiness reaches a point where there are diminishing returns. Don't quote me on this but I've heard a study once that said the average person is just about as happy as they get once they've reach $50k in earnings.

    Now take that how you will..obviously $50k/yr will earn you a lot more material gratification in some cities then others, but I think the point is that there comes a point for every one of us where we just can't be any happier no matter what we have.

    I like the thought that Bill Gates earns more in the second it takes for him to stop and fart, then I do in a year....but YET, he's not likely to be x10 happier then I am on my best days.

    Take your TV for example...do you think you're twice as happy now as you were when you had a tv half the size? Are you elevated at this happiness level permanently or did the thrill wear down after about a couple weeks and you're back to feeling unsatisfied like you were before?

    If you're like me...these things don't thrill me forever. What I found over time to be most gratifying in life are the little things Johan had mentioned....sitting around with good friends over a BBQ, traveling to someplace I've never been to before, getting cozy with my lady....

    Those are the moments I'll remember lying on my death bed...not the day I picked up the latest game console.
     
  21. FyreDaug

    FyreDaug lolswift

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2006
    Messages:
    23,228
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    good post, sometimes Id rather be "alone with my things" rather than be out at a bbq with friends. Dont get me wrong, I dont just sit indoors all day, but theres times where i just wanna be by myself and get far into a game. Im doing good at projecct gotham trying to beat everything on hardcore, and its nice to sit down and perfect the lap until I do it right... for me anyways.
     
  22. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

    Joined:
    May 27, 2005
    Messages:
    1,501
    Likes Received:
    0
    Go watch Fight Club
     
  23. PoliticalPirate

    PoliticalPirate New Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2006
    Messages:
    106
    Likes Received:
    0
    Definately true for most people, but I dare you to try and take a collectors collection away.

    Good advice and a good movie.
     
  24. Mogul

    Mogul New Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2006
    Messages:
    156
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm an economics major who will be going to law school soon, so I may be a bit more materialistic than others on this board. You know, it's not necessarily a bad thing to want more stuff, in fact it's the foundation of free market economics, so don't feel too bad for wanting better things in life. In any case, I like that you have an MP3 player in your car, its nice stuff :)
     
  25. Mr. Kitty Litter

    Mr. Kitty Litter OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2004
    Messages:
    29,785
    Likes Received:
    25
    Location:
    Here and there
    Contradiction.

    If no-one cares, then why should his piece of shit car, and basement in the slums matter?
     

Share This Page