Wife went to visit a "friend"

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by gookarachie, Jun 10, 2005.

  1. gookarachie

    gookarachie New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2005
    Messages:
    625
    Likes Received:
    0
    OK a little back ground. My wife had an affair well she stopped it 8 months ago when she tole me. It went on for 4 months. We had been maried for 4 years. One of the bif reasons that we are still together is because she did confess. I thought something was going on but I had no proof. She came clean. Also I believe that people make mistakes. I will be OK with 1 mistake however if the same bullshit happens again I will not tolerate it.

    OK so my wifes mother is a bad alcoholic. She was very horrible to her growing up. Life really sucked for her. There was allot of abuse mentally physically and sexually. I will just leave it at that. She is a great person however the way that her childhood was she freaks out whenever her mother drinks. Her mom has been in and out of treatment several times. A couple of times since we have been together. Her dad is retirering in 2 weeks. He travels for work. He is gone for 2 weeks then home and doesn't have to work for 2 weeks. So this is his last 2 weeks that he has to work. Then he is retireing.

    OK so on to the problem. 2 days ago on WED. My wife went over to see her mom. We thought that she had been sober for some time. Well she found her face down passed out drunk. She freaked she could not find a pulse. So she called 911.. The paramedics arived and checked her out. By the time they arived my wife was able to wake her up and get her life signs stronger. So they could find no reason to take her to the hospital. (her mother has had to go the hospital before because of drinking to much(just last year it happened her heart stopped 3 times because her blood alcohal level was .48. For some reason she lived)). So my wife put her in bed and we left the house to go home.

    Yesterday the whole familly is calling wondering what is going on. My wife has 2 sisters one lives 3500 miles away the other lives 400 miles away. Her dad is in alaska. Nobody can come to town so they are all calling to ask what is going on and what happened. Their mom is still drunk it has been 2 days. She is on like a perma drunk. And being the bitch that she is when drunk.

    So yesterday she wanted to get away. So my wife drove 2 hours to see my friend of 15 years. She had slept with him before we were together. It was just a 1 night stand kind of thing. Well she went to visit him last night. She did not want me to come with her. She said " I just need to get away from everything". She says that she will never cheat on me again. She made that mistake. She says she doesn't want to sleep with my friend, that she loves me, that she does not want to jepordise our relationship because her mom is being stupid. This is all the same shit that I heard when she was having her affair. So she is still there this morning. I am wondering when she is going to come home, did she sleep with him. If so we are getting divorced. She will lie about it though I know this. So what you guys think?
     
  2. opie

    opie hi. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2004
    Messages:
    6,025
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    AZ
    to much drama for me :|
     
  3. {WBK}Blood_Lust

    {WBK}Blood_Lust New Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2005
    Messages:
    765
    Likes Received:
    0
    that stinks bro.

    i wouldn't be able to ever trust my wife again if she cheated, and even without her ever cheating, if she went to stay with a guy she banged before I sure would think she's up to no good. Add to that the fact that she's betrayed you before and I'd have to assume the worst. Sounds like she's got a fucked up background and you'll probably have these problems forever so you'll eventually have to make the decision to put up with this drama or move on. good luck, i sure wouldn't trust her EVER again
     
  4. lilceez112

    lilceez112 New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2005
    Messages:
    587
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Orlando, FL
    i wouldnt have let her go. fuck that.



    divorce her. you dont need all that drama
     
  5. Esp69st

    Esp69st Who's talking about OIL... bitch you cooking

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2003
    Messages:
    5,598
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    BOSTON

    lol at this reply... :rofl:


    she didn't wanted you to come with her.. she's def hidding something, she did once she'll do it again. I don't believe in women...
     
  6. Cyrus.

    Cyrus. Swollen Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2002
    Messages:
    3,170
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Halifax, NS.
    I hope you dont have kids.

    Divorce her.. ASAP.
     
  7. Mikey

    Mikey This one, this form I hold now, so Wide eyed and h

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2001
    Messages:
    23,118
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Baltimore
    here's the blunt answer...she cheated again! She told you she wanted to go ALONE to your friends house for a couple days. This is also someone she has slept with before. She is now in a fragile emotional state and is going to seek comfort from this guy and she WILL sleep with him.

    She obviously doesn't respect you at all. For her to think that this is ok is rediculous.
     
  8. SpeedLaci

    SpeedLaci New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    0
    I agree. when women get in an emotional state everything looks better then what they have right now. the grass is always greener. On the guys end here is an emotional chick who needs attention..its like the whole when harry met sally..he holds her she cries they kiss and its off to the races. It would of been ok if she went to visit but she slept over there!! thats un called for. your wife slept at a house with a guy she banged a while. feelings will always remain there. one night stands are tricky because you always feel lik you could of done better after you? like oh i oculd of done this etc..so there is a good chance if they were together they had this hwole.. you havent seen nothing yet you know? honestly i would say she cheated..the only way you will find out is a lie detector test and even then she could escape it but just threaten her with the test and see her reaction. this is the woman your spending the rest of your life with! do you really want to have to wonder about her 100% its the greatest feeling in the world when you are with your SO and they telling you something and you believe the full heartedly. she apparently has trust issues due to her family so i dont think she will have hard time lying to you. you need to threated with a test or divorce and see here reaction
     
  9. delavoie

    delavoie U Bitches better recognize

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2004
    Messages:
    2,559
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    wow that is seriously messed up...
    I cant believe that she went to see your friend that she slept with before.. and she slept there!!! WOW
    If that's doesn't give you a sign, i think you should hire a private investigator..
    she is obviously up to no good..

    SpeedLaci said it best.. when women get in an emotional state everything looks better then what they have right now. the grass is always greener.

     
  10. Phreaxer

    Phreaxer New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2005
    Messages:
    1,173
    Likes Received:
    0
    damn man, I'm sorry but I have to agree. that wasn't a good thing for you... You obviously have doubts too (understandably). I suggest you count your losses and move on. Please tell me you do not have kids together.
     
  11. Apothis

    Apothis New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2003
    Messages:
    2,240
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Antonio, TX
    Once a cheater, always a cheater. The end.

    More specifically, anytime a woman says she "needs some space", "needs to get away", whatever, it means she wants to be away from YOU. It means she's either already cheating, or at least wants to. Bad news in any case.

    Trust is a lot easier to throw away than to rebuild, and it sounds like you havn't really come to trust her again ..and quite frankly, with good reason.

    Anyone who forgives a cheater is just asking for it to happen again anyway.
     
  12. gookarachie

    gookarachie New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2005
    Messages:
    625
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks everybody for your replies. To answer the question of kids. We do not have any together. She has one from her first marrige.
     
  13. NJGuy

    NJGuy "Fuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmef uckmefuckmefuckmefuckm OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 19, 2005
    Messages:
    22,756
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    wtf, USA
    I think you shouldnt be asking if she cheated.
    You should be asking what makes her think sleeping over another mans house an ok thing to do. Fucky or no fucky.

    Id hire a PI if I was you. Seriously. Fork over a grand. Get some video. You wont have to worry about alimony

    Sorry Bro... people suck sometimes.
     
  14. Cyrus.

    Cyrus. Swollen Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2002
    Messages:
    3,170
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Halifax, NS.
    I cant tell you what to do, but I can tell you id tell her to beat it.
     
  15. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Messages:
    20,549
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Her mosa? ITS MY MOSA!!!
    I would say it is time to get out. Not only because she slept at another mans house, like that is normal. But because you obvioulsy don't trust her anymore, and trust is vital to make a marriage work. It doesn't matter whether she cheated or not anymore, and you dont need video to haunt you because this will obviously hurt. You don't even need to know really, just get out. If you ask her she will deny it, and you will beleive her. And it wil happen again.
     
  16. Kyubiz

    Kyubiz New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2002
    Messages:
    7,226
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston
    She's going through some tough times, that much is obvious. It seems that if she need support from anyone it would be you, her husband, the person who she loves more than anybody else in the world, Not some guy she fucked back in the day... I don't know man. If I were you I'd be very suspicious, especially given the past affair.
     
  17. TheRemains

    TheRemains If I sound disrespectful, it's only because you're

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2001
    Messages:
    40,803
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston
    the only reason she would drive two hours to see a guy she once fucked before, is to fuck him again. Im sorry, but she sounds like a cheater... and they always cheat and will never change.
     
  18. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2002
    Messages:
    59,954
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    Go Dodger Blue!
    IMO her looking to another guy for support is much more serious than whether or not she slept with him. That tells me that the person she is supposed to look to for support is not good enough for her. If you were not very supportive I could understand her leaving to see him, but if you were that means she has no respect for you or the relationship.

    But honestly no matter what the excuse, this is not the kind of behavior you should have to deal with in a marriage. Marriage is tough enough as it is with kids, money, and your own issues with each other.

    You gotta ask yourself even if she didn't sleep with him, do you want to deal with this again? Because if she didn't sleep with him, this means that to her she can go see him anytime she has a problem. Two months from now she might drive over there just because she broke a nail or something. And believe me, she will take advantage of the situation. Sadly, it will only be a matter of time before she does sleep with him and you probably will not find out until months later.

    This girl doesn't belong in a marriage with anyone. She should definitely know better having one through divorce once before. Obviously she's a very slow learner when it comes to relationships. She's dragged you so far down already. Don't let her completely destroy you. Pack her bags and tell her to leave. You will feel so relieved once she is gone.
     
  19. Sandlapper

    Sandlapper Nothing is Finer, than Carolina!

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2003
    Messages:
    36,511
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Greenville, SC
    Get out now...
     
  20. I Pwn Noobs

    I Pwn Noobs Guest

    you're the dumbass who allowed her to go sleep at another mans house:ugh:
    and she's already fucked this dude before. Nice job dumbass:ugh2:
     
  21. fuck all that shit
     
  22. cfordhere

    cfordhere Guest

    get over the feelings and move on you know in your heart what happened yes it sucks but youll do fine we all get over the stupid things in life this is a huge thing but remember alchohol is your friend
     
  23. I think the "once a cheater always a cheater" saying only applys to some people for every relationship. Most people (i say this loosly.. im not a psycologist) will be happy in a realtionship and never cheat, not ever, not even think about it- then in another relationship will be unhappy and will infact stray, if they only do it once then after it happened their partner changes and is more loving etc. and they are now happy.. thus not straying anymore. however if nothing changes, they are still emotionally distant and wont tell their partner anything ( cheaters never trust their partners) they will cheat over and over and over again.

    It depends on the relationship, not the person (in most cases)

    I say.. review your relationship... are YOU happy? is every part of you fullfilled ? no empty voids? do you honistly trust her? dont lie to yourself, let it all go. write it down.. when she comes home be open with her, ask her questions.. if she gets DEFENSIVE.. then that is a bad, bad, sign. get out!
    (ps. also, why did her last marrage fail? something to think about..)
     
  24. borazhasleftthebuilding

    borazhasleftthebuilding Lets Party OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2005
    Messages:
    98,360
    Likes Received:
    234
    Location:
    in da forest
  25. Solus Emsu

    Solus Emsu ****** U N R A T E D ! ****** -----THAT'S HOW I RO

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2003
    Messages:
    16,675
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Kansas City, Jacksonville
    Ok, I am going to point out a few things first:

    1. Yes everyone makes mistakes, and I can understand if it was one time also; however, 4 months is not one time. That is not a one-time mistake.

    2. She said she needed to get away from everything.....except him obviously. Does that make sense to you? Not to me. As her husband, she should be able to come to you for comfort, not another guy. Why would she leave her husband, especially when her husband was actually there for the whole thing as well? Hmmm.

    3. Unless this guy happens to be kin, she should not be staying the night with any guy.....PERIOD!!!

    4. She has slept with this guy before.

    5. She has cheated on you before.


    Now with all this taken into account, why did she marry you?
    Ask yourself that? Why can't she come to you? Why did she say her vows if she can not keep her promise? Why does she have to run into the arms of another man?

    And last of all, why did you let her get away with it?
    First time mistake or 4 months of mistakes doesn't matter.
    She broke your trust, she broke her vow, and she new better because she is married.
    This is not just poor judgement. She knows fully well what comes with marriage and she betrayed you.

    I can't make the decision for you, but I will tell you, confession or not, I personally would divorce her. I would have a long time ago.
     

Share This Page