SRS Wife might be put on some happy pills, what to expect?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Nucleartiger, Oct 26, 2007.

  1. Nucleartiger

    Nucleartiger Clemson makes my nipples hard

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    So my wife has slowly over the last few years been closing in on herself in a physical/sexual way to me. We had a great sex life while dating and after we first got married but after children she has slowly become more and more distant as far as intimacy is concerned. We are at the point where She doesn't want me to touch her, hug her, kiss her, and sex is maybe every 3 weeks or so and only then it is because she knows that I want to do something.

    We have talked about it many times over the last year or so and she just tells me that she doesn't know why but she doesn't want anything to do physically period.

    Well she went and saw her doctor for her yearly appointment and the doctor said that something was definitely not right after my wife explained her thoughts and feelings. She ran a whole bunch of tests for hormones and thyroid all things that could affect her hormonally and they all came back normal so she will switch her BC after this pack is up (this has been building since before the BC) and thinks my wife might be depressed.

    So if you are still reading haha I was wondering what everyone's thoughts were and what to expect if she is prescribed some happy meds.

    Thanks for reading
     
  2. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    an even worse sex drive :rofl:


    pretty well known that sex and antidepressants don't go well together. zyban/welbutrin are some of the lesser offenders. if something doesnt work, give another one a try.... but it's going to take time. most drugs have a weening period, you cant just start/stop randomly.
     
  3. Lani

    Lani child, that wind's gonna come and blow my blues aw

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    no idea what you would expect but does she talk to a therapist? i'm not a fan of therapy but i would go that route and try to find out why this is happening rather then just throw drugs at it and hope it goes away :sad2:
     
  4. Nucleartiger

    Nucleartiger Clemson makes my nipples hard

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    Well Its not that we just want to through drugs at it and hope it goes away. we have discussed therapy to see if there might be some other underlying problem there but right now her doctor just thinks it is "baby blues" that have been just building over the last 2 or 3 years.
     
  5. Lani

    Lani child, that wind's gonna come and blow my blues aw

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    not that i'm an expert or anything but a doctor having 1 convo with your wife doesnt give him any evidence of what is going on with her. if things have been building up that much over years then i seriously doubt meds are going to do anything but let them build up more.
     
  6. Nucleartiger

    Nucleartiger Clemson makes my nipples hard

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    I can see your point there for sure. I have suggested a therapist but I really don't know if she will do it or not. She doesn't like to open up much and I was really shocked that she told her doctor what she did (female Doctor btw)
     
  7. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    If her physical tests come back normal, then I'd say that there is a problem within the relationship itself.

    Yeah, she may be depressed...but why? WHY is she depressed? Get what I am saying? At the very least she should be happy with YOU.

    I'm leaning more towards a lack of interest or that she's bored in the relationship in some way. Sex is a pretty good indicator of a woman's interest level in you (one of the things Yail is spot on about).

    Perhaps her "therapy" should be YOU asking her if she's happy with YOU. Have a good talk with her. Get her to open up to you. LISTEN TO HER. REALLY LISTEN TO HER. Don't take what she says at face value. You usually have to muddle through a lot of bullshit to get to the root of what a woman is telling you...not that that is a bad thing, it just means that she's fueled by emotions and speaks from emotions...and emotions change like the wind. So in order to figure out the root you're going to have to muddle through the various emotions with an open mind and not hang on EVERY word she says.

    I would wager a good talk between you and her where SHE talks and YOU listen and ask the right questions will do more for your sex life than any pill can ever do.
     
  8. Nucleartiger

    Nucleartiger Clemson makes my nipples hard

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    I can definitely see your point and I truly thought that that was the case but we have sat down and talked about things and no matter how we have discussed it she is very adamant about the fact that it is not me or our relationship causing the issue.

    I appreciate your thoughts though.
     
  9. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Another reality apparently
    .

    Ive seen even the highest sex drives completely killed off in just days. And it doesnt return quick even once (if) you finally get off the shit.
     
  10. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Another reality apparently
    Sex drives go up and down through life. Some years you will fuck like rabbits, some years it might be monthly or less. This is just something you learn after long term relationships, and you also learn how to deal with it. Just keep communication open and make sure there is pleanty of emotional support when the physical support isnt there. Oh, and ive found the more you make an issue of it, the worse the issue gets. It sucks not getting some for a few weeks, but when you start to make a big deal of it, it does no good for either of you. Let what happens happen, and just make sure your relationship stays strong.

    Id find a new doctor and make sure she didnt start on those pills though. Sounds like the doc has been pushing what the pharm reps are delivering without much thought for the patient (imagine that)
     
  11. Nucleartiger

    Nucleartiger Clemson makes my nipples hard

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    Very good points. I have tried to not make a big deal out of things but we have been married 7 years and for the last 3 years it has gotten progressively worse. I can handle 3 weeks or so between sex, the part that I am having the most trouble with is She doesn't even want me to touch her. It used to be I would come home from work and give her a hug and kiss and now I get home and I go to hug her and kiss her and she gives me a little peck and pushes me away. She has even told me herself that she would rather not be touched most times. She has talked about things that used to get her going now doesn't do anything for her at all. for example Any romantic movie used to really get her in the mood, now its like oh great they are kissing, get on with the rest of the movie.

    Even though the Doctor has mentioned the use of happy pills I have been leary of them just because of the horror stories of possible side effects.
     
  12. YourMomOnRyeBun

    YourMomOnRyeBun New Member

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    Wow...do I have a split personality? Did I logon earlier today under a dif name and post this? :squint:

    I am going through the same stuff right now...no suggestions as of yet.

    Only words of encouragement...you aren't the only one. :sadwavey:
     
  13. copperkali

    copperkali Mrs. Nicklk

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    Happy pills suck. I would pretty much do anything to avoid being on them again.
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :werd: I think she should talk to someone about her issues more often as opposed to just sticking pills down her throat
     
  15. Nucleartiger

    Nucleartiger Clemson makes my nipples hard

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    Thanks for the replies everyone. I will definitely talk to her and her doctor about counseling before we decide to start taking any meds.
     
  16. Nucleartiger

    Nucleartiger Clemson makes my nipples hard

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    What can you tell me about the meds and how you felt/acted?

    Thanks
     
  17. Nucleartiger

    Nucleartiger Clemson makes my nipples hard

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    Well The wife has been prescribed Fluoxetine (aka Prozac) She started taking it a few days ago, the first day she had some nausea but none since then. We were told that it could take a week or so for her to really start noticing any changes. The Doctor said that she was suffering from depression and anxiety and has scheduled her for a therapist this week. Meanwhile, the last few weeks she has become even more distant and we haven't had any kind of physical intimacy other than holding hands and a quick peck on the lips the last 3 weeks.

    I am really starting to get tired of having a roommate instead of a wife.

    Not to mention that she mentioned to her mother that she had actually looked up the guy that she had always thought that she would be married to as she was growing up. So not really sure how to take that. I was actually really hurt by it and I just want to ask her if she had actually contacted him but I haven't figured out the best time to do it yet.
     
  18. Troy

    Troy New Member

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    man up bro, tell her stop the bullshit or ur out. She's obviously not attracted to you at this point.
     
  19. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    Sounds like she's not happy in the relationship, despite what she's saying to you. There might be "nothing wrong" with you or the relationship, but there's definitely something that's not right.

    If she can't identify it and neither can you, it's time to see a marriage counsellor.
     
  20. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Maybe you just smell bad.

    No, seriously.

    Okay, not seriously, but considering sex is part of a relationship, it definitely sounds like the relationship isn't healthy. What kinds of movies does she watch? What kinds of magazines does she read? What do the men in those movies and magazines do to please women? Try doing that.

    Women will never just want sex for lack of better things to do, so if that's what you're expecting (and you have to consider your behavior, not your beliefs), then you're never gonna get laid again.
     
  21. SixSecrets

    SixSecrets New Member

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    I totally agree with Teo.

    Funny, people get married and think they'll live happily ever after, but the thing is, relationships/marriagess take a lot of WORK and few people realize that. Instead of being open and aboveboard on everything, they let stuff accumulate inside till it gets to the point of no return and no affection and no love and no trying. It's sad but it's true.

    I think it is counselling time for you both if you want your marriage to work out and continue.
     

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