My wife and I have one son ~12 months old. When he was first born we talked about what would happen to him if we ever passed away while he was still a minor. We never "officially" declared this but we pretty much decided my brother should receive custody. Fast forward to now. We are planning a trip in mid February. Our son will stay here with the grandparents. SInce we will be flying we revisited the idea of a will and decided it was time. SO she made an appt. with a lawyer (the husband of a friend of hers) on Friday. Today I asked her (thinking I already knew the answer) who will get get custody of our son. She said she thinks her parents should because he (our son) is more "comfortable" with them. When I reminded her of our talk ~12 months ago she said that my brother's "lifetyle" is the reason he shouldn't get custody. WTF???? So we're gonna talk it over tonight but I do not really want her parents to have custody. They are good people and all but in a few years they are gonna be up there in age and not be able to take care of a 5 -10 year old as well as my brother would. BTW the lifestyle comment is just that my brother and his wife are pretty busy people. No drugs/alcohol/etc. They have a nice house (bigger than ours). Also my brother is late 30's and no kids. Any comments about this? Or, if you have been in my situation, how did you and your wife/husband decide something like this?