SRS Why we shouldn't nurture or "mend" broken hearts...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by john80, Jul 22, 2006.

  1. john80

    john80 The only constant is change

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    Driving home tonight I wondered, "why do we treat our hearts like children?"

    If our hearts are innocent and they experience an emotion for the first time, such as a first crush, or such as the rush of a drug or possibly the emotional detachment of an alcoholic buzz, then our hearts are drawn to it. They (being hearts from hereout) want a repeat, an encore, they ache for it. And we give it to them...just like children and candy.

    If our hearts are broken or hurt, we nurture it, we baby it, we try to make it forget the pain by distracting it; we protect it. Guys will take their friend out to the bars to party and forget the heartache, girls will do girls' nights in and talk about feminine control and self-empowerment. We will protect it buy building the ever-known 'wall' to shield from pain in the future by another would-be attacker.

    When was the last time you demanded a high standard for your heart? When did you ever say, "Heart, listen here, you're a little bitch you know that? Every fucking time I get with involved with someone and it fizzles you go and get all swiss-cheesy on me, what the fuck is wrong with you, you damn sissy?"

    No, instead we hurt, and cry and shield and protect and nurture. I think it's high-time we change that. Or at least challenge ourselves to do so. Why do we even "fall in love"?? Shouldn't we climb that mountain and earn love at the top? I think we should. Heartache shouldn't pain our hearts...it should reverberate appreciation for what the heart experienced through the time spent. A relationship shouldn't put our hearts at risk of being hurt. It should put our hearts in the driver seat of a new experience that we're ready to embark on. We need to tell our hearts to grow the fuck up and stop being babies.

    If you get hurt in a relationship, don't nurture your heart, embrace the opportunities your heart didn't have. Search and discover experiences for your heart that have nothing to do with personal gratification or self-received affection. Challenge yourself to create experiences for your heart that have no personal gain to you, whether it be volunteering, learning a new language or pursuing deliberate platonic relationships.

    If you are the type of person...no wait, that's just categorizing...if you are in the heart-set or mind-set in your current personality where you create walls and block new emotions from affecting your heart, you are doing yourself no good. Why follow the norm and avoid the opportunities that lay ahead? Keep an open door, just post someone out front who knows not to let the same mistakes (persons) back through the door.

    In conclusion before this becomes a thesis, our hearts are weak, because we were raised in an environment that expected and taught us to allow weak hearts. A revolution begins at home, no matter the cause, so why not tell your heart that it can't be weak anymore? Tell it that it needs to pursue emotions with no regard to making its owner feel better emotionally, but only with regard to making its owner feel like a better person...a heart that can feel any emotion is a heart that can survive any.

    Hopefully this can give some of you who have damaged souls a new perspective on an old pre-disposition of "broken hearts"...

    :)
     
  2. beautiful disaster

    beautiful disaster OT Supporter

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  3. -argonaut-

    -argonaut- New Member

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    Nice paraphrasing there..., in addendum:

    Not to contradict you or anything but..., People build the "walls" because they realize that they do not presently have the emotional/psychological falculties to deal with the breakup/separation/rejection, etc., so it's actually in the best interest of the individuals id to "compartmentalize" the pain until they've developed the abilities, the psychologically introspective and rationalizing tools to deal, cope and overcome the heartache, pulling the pain out a bit at a time as each new opportunity presents itself until they eventually manage to "flush" their system of it, ergo, "walls" are a good thing.
     
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2006
  4. blueNcream

    blueNcream win OT Supporter

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    :hugot: well dunzo!
     
  5. blueNcream

    blueNcream win OT Supporter

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    I like your points. I would love to think we just accept life is as beautiful as death is certain. But those walls are like part of a bootcamp's running trail we just need to climb through. :hsughno:
     
  6. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    great post :)
     
  7. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    Awesome post john80.
     
  8. -argonaut-

    -argonaut- New Member

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    Yes, it would be great if life were beautiful, but we all know that it's not. We can buy into the picture of perfection that our parents draw for us for only so long, then we grow up and go out into the world on our own where mommy and daddy can't shelter or protect us and we come to the realization that the world is'nt the picture of serenity and happiness and fellowship and friendship that was painted for us by our parents, quite the contrary, forcing us to develop the tools necessary to cope and relate and exist in the "real world", tools like the "walls" previously mentioned.

    To this end, they (the walls) are not a bootcamp's trail obstacles, but rather the some of the necessary tools required to navigate the traumatic/emotional obstacles of the bootcamp that is life that we all hope to strive and succeed in and will, if we have the proper tools.
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2006
  9. beanolo

    beanolo It does a body good!!!1

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    It's true, but much easier said than done when you are actually thrown in the situation given. Just out of curiousity, was this just a thought? Or was it based off past experience and what you learned from it?
     
  10. -argonaut-

    -argonaut- New Member

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    Who..., me ?!
     
  11. beanolo

    beanolo It does a body good!!!1

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    No I meant the original poster. :)

    But in regards to your post... how much of life have you really seen? Are you pretty old? Have you traveled to many different cultures and seen how life is? Or are you speaking from just growing up in the US?

    Who came to the realization that there isn't good in the world? I didn't. I realized that I AM confined by walls known as the United States, but I know I'm not bound by it, and theres quite a big world out there that I haven't explored to generalize everything.
     
  12. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    This is the way I like to give advice and sometimes I have been criticized for being too harsh. I never intend to insult anyone, but the way I deliver advice sometimes can be brutal. I think that many people do need a direct kick in the ass.
     
  13. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    john80, great post!!

    I think this is why my mom, after losing her husband (my dad) after 35 years of marriage was able to start dating again and remarry (at the young age of 60!!!!). My mom's mom lost her husband and never, ever remarried. However, I got to watch my mom remarry and she got married to a great guy and they spent 14 wonderful years together till he passed away 2 years ago.

    So my mom's burried 2 husbands and she's now 76 years old and starting to talk about dating again. :) I think I could learn a thing or two from her.
     
  14. -argonaut-

    -argonaut- New Member

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    I don't know jack really, I can just fake it better than most. ;)

    I never said that there is'nt any good in the world, only implied that there is as much, if not more, bad. Some are lucky enough to never come to within no more than an arms reach of it, while others are thrown in it headfirst, be it the result of their own machinations, or those of others.

    On the one hand, you're lucky to be able to live such a blessed/charmed life and should be thankful for such, though most seldom are, relishing in finding some form of remorse or depravity to emerge themselves in irregardless of their upbringing/neighborhood/social or financial status, e.g, the portrayals found in the movie "Havoc".

    Whereas on the other hand, it's a matter of finding a reason to drag yourself outta the bed, or convenient quiet spot, to hit the ground running and face the day head-on and whatever that it may hold for you.

    Yeah, you'll come out of it (if you survive) wise beyond your years (which I guess has it's own merits), and perhaps even the better for it (whatever doens'nt kill you only makes you stronger, right!?!) if you bother to pay attention and take notes along the way. But you'll still find that you'll wrestle with the realization that you could have done without all of the hard knocks every time that you look around yourself at those who've gotten to where you are in life, or further even, and did it without all of the scrapes, bruises, cuts, and fractures you picked up from life..., if only.

    But hey, what do I know? I've no claim to fame, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express the other night.
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2006
  15. john80

    john80 The only constant is change

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    Agreed :)

    (Sorry for the 2 month old bump) :wiggle:
     
  16. john80

    john80 The only constant is change

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    This was just a thought...albeit after a recent breakup with a very significant other...
     

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