SRS Why now?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by DaFreak963, Aug 20, 2008.

  1. DaFreak963

    DaFreak963 New Member

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    I just found out that my girlfriend which Im absolutly crazy about is going to Australia to study abroad for a year in Feb :wtc:. She told me she doesnt want to be with anyone but me, she wants to make the relationship work and she hopes that I will feel the same way about her when she comes back, which I do but a year sounds like such a long time. I know that Feb is still a long time away and that I should enjoy the time I still have with her but I cant help and think of all the stories Ive heard about good relationships ending this way. Any of you guys have stories in which things worked out for you in the end?

    I hate feeling insecure. Halp
     
  2. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    If not now, when? (to answer your thread title)

    February is a long way away. Now you have a choice:

    1. You can decide that a LDR isn't going to be feasible, and save yourself 6 months of wasting time in a relationship that is going nowhere and end it now. (You won't, and I don't recommend it anyway)

    2. You can enjoy the time you DO have with her right now, and begin to think more about this when it actually becomes an issue isntead of ruining the time you have NOW together.
     
  3. DaFreak963

    DaFreak963 New Member

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    I forgot about the title. Its "why now" because she is the first girl that I have been able to actually open up to and really care about after geting out of a fucked up relationship and spending over a year treating women like objects and now that I commit and make myself vulnerable I find this out. Maybe thats just kharma coming back my way.
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Life is too short to put your life on a year halt for this broad that's going abroad,

    You have to give her an ultimatum, she either chooses for you, or for her study. Just say your sorry but you can't put your life on a halt for a year, why can't she study in her own country? Does she really have to put you aside like garbage? For all you know she'll meet another guy in Australia or will get laid behind your back,

    She's the one who is pushing you thru a lot of hurt unecessarily. If she wanted to study abroad she should have done that before she'd jump into a relationship.

    Its completely unfair what she is doing to you, you probably cant forget about her, but you have to forget about her, why can't you two choose to study together, a relationship is about sharing your life together, not putting eachother aside. Im speechless to how insensetive she is to your feelings and how selfish she is.

    Give her up, let her do whatever she wants, i mean c'mon this basically translates to: im giving up our relationship please don't feel hurt while i leave your behind, whilst i go study in australia. :rolleyes:

    I dislike her actions A LOT!
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    You're not a piece of abandonware, you shouldn't accept this trash talk from her.
     
  6. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    People get lonely when they are apart for long times. Especially for a year. You will end up hanging out with other girls, and she will end up hanging out with other guys.

    It's the same thing that happens to people in the military and their SO's they leave behind. Even though they are coming back 6 months to a year, people get lonely and things happen.

    If she really wants to go to Australia to study, you both need to part ways so you don't end up hurting each other or making the other one wait. Then you both need to date other people, and maybe if the stars align right, you both may get back together in the future after she has finished her travels.
     
  7. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    What the hell? :ugh:

    It's not HER fault she wants to study abroad. And she's not "setting him aside like garbage". HER comprimising what she wants to do for him will only create resentment for him.

    Like I said he has two choices:

    1. End it because he doesn't want to deal with a LDR.

    2. Enjoy his time with her and cross that bridge when he gets to it.
     
  8. lebomb

    lebomb New Member

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    Go with her.............
     
  9. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    ^^ good idea
     
  10. Maximumjmz

    Maximumjmz New Member

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    A lot can happen between now and Feb. Maybe somewhere down the road you might break up before then.
     
  11. DaFreak963

    DaFreak963 New Member

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    I wish I could but Im no longer in school. Also, as great as the idea sounds in my head I do understand that in reality it wont happen.
     
  12. DaFreak963

    DaFreak963 New Member

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    Thats what I'm worried/insecure about. I don't really believe in open relationships. In my eyes its just saying I want to have my cake and eat it too. If she decides she wants to try and work it out as a LDR I could only accept if it remained an exclusive relationship but as you said she might get lonely and end up hanging out with other guys. Just the thought of it makes my stomach feel like shit.
     
  13. djshotglass

    djshotglass New Member

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    :hsugh:

    And fuck taking a year long break. %98 chance of failure.
     
  14. djshotglass

    djshotglass New Member

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    What's wrong with eating your cake?
     
  15. eljefedetonto

    eljefedetonto OT Supporter

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    study abroad is tough, especially at a distance like that. when I was in Denmark I watched well over 2/3 of the other girls cheat on their boyfriends. it was amusing at the least.

    but there were a few that stayed completely faithful. it just depends how close you guys are and whether or not you'll get to see each other over the course of a year... going to/from Australia would be pretty expensive though.
     
  16. Leaden Grudge

    Leaden Grudge OT Supporter

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    So? Get a job there. You could have the time of your life. Take an adventure.
     
  17. SaMMy SiZZLe

    SaMMy SiZZLe New Member

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    I'm pretty much in the same situation.

    My bf moved to phoenix for a year. I have the chance to go with him and I was planning on going but things aren't working out the way I hoped and I don't think I'm going to be able to go.

    Let me tell you I'm pretty fucking lonely here. We'd been together a year and a half by the time he decided to go and 2 yrs by the time he left. Part of me wishes I hadn't gotten so into the relationship because it feels HORRIBLE now that he left.
     
  18. Arkaybee

    Arkaybee New Member

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    I never would have thought of that. I would love to do something like that. First I need a girlfriend, then she has to decide to move across the planet :x:
     
  19. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    What's with all these "GO WITH HER!" comments? Does no one here have their own life? For all we know the TS and the chick have ony been dating 3 months, hardly enough to go on moving across the country just to spend a year with his gf because he's too insecure to have an LDR :ugh:
     
  20. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I have a life, family, friends, job, school... if my bf moves abroad to work (he's been yammering on about Dubai) I will follow him, not even (totally) because of the relationship, but because the experience of living abroad for a year is worth starting law school a year late.
    I actually almost married once, to a roommate, so that we could qualify for Australian work visas.
     
  21. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I'm still curious to see how long this guy has even been dating this girl. You've been dating your bf over a year now and you are a student. He has a full time job here, and well he's not you, he doesn't really care to go to Australia because it's Australia, he only wants to go because he doesn't wan't to stay here alone without her and worry that she'll meet someone else or they'll fall apart during LDR. Plus, you are adventurous :mamoru:
     
  22. Arclight

    Arclight Hypercube

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    abandonware :bowrofl:
     

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