SRS Why is there still baby daddy drama? (pt 2 to original thread)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by blackgrrl23, Sep 8, 2008.

  1. blackgrrl23

    blackgrrl23 If the game ain't money, then I ain't playing.

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    :sadwavey:

    As based on my other thread here in Asylum. here..this is about my sons father again....:o

    He does pay his support on time now (due to court order) but is still whining about wanting to move in with me as he is still @ his dad's :hsugh:

    Well finances (for me) dictated I needed a 2nd job and I did get one...problem is I couldn't find anyone to watch my son @ night/weekends for a reasonable rate (everyone wants $250 a week + and thats what I make on this 2nd job!) so I asked my sons father to come to my house (which he didn't even know about until now) to watch my son. I figured it was a tradeoff...I get free daycare and can keep my moneys, he can see his son more often and get a home cooked meal to boot and I know they will be in a safe environment.

    Now the hard part...I KNOW he will ask me to move in and offer to pay rent (he does work and makes pretty decent money now) but I don't want that :hsughno: and NO I WON"T allow him to spend the night as I get off @11pm and have no problem dropping him back off at the metro so he can go on to his own place to sleep. We have been cordial and he has actually been taking care of our son pretty good (been buying shoes, clothes, toys, taking him here and there so I do see some improvement) I just don't want to live with him right now :o I'm not seeing anyone else I just dont want him to think we are "back together" just because he comes to my house frequently (for his son)....

    Any advice? :x:
     
  2. Redbeard

    Redbeard OT Supporter

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    Well you do have a kid together, why not try to work things out? My parents divorced when I was in second grade and ive turned out horribly because of it.
     
  3. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Only thing you need to do is be upfront and honest and don't back down no matter what. "I am not interested in being in a relationship with you or living with you." Don't let him argue with you, tell him that you are not changing your mind on this. If he tries to argue it then it's time to say goodbye and hang up the phone/send him out the door/take him home. It is completely YOUR choice whether or not he moves in there, don't let him try to convince you otherwise.
     
  4. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Please read her other thread first. This guy is a loser and doesn't deserve it.
     
  5. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    This is like the first of three threads that leads to you getting back together with him. :dunno:

    I'm not sure anything we say is going to stop that, but I digress.

    Set standards and stick with them.
     
  6. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    so what's the problem?

    you answered your own question. don't let him move in. point blank
     
  7. bearsdidit

    bearsdidit OT Supporter

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    Good luck girl... thats a tough position to be in. :hug:
     
  8. blackgrrl23

    blackgrrl23 If the game ain't money, then I ain't playing.

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    Basically :h5:

    Just wanted some reassurance I was doing the right thing :x:
     
  9. blackgrrl23

    blackgrrl23 If the game ain't money, then I ain't playing.

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    :
    getting back together with him? :rofl: :rofl: :bowrofl:


    Of course I have standards set (like he stays in the living room while I am in the bedroom and my son can come back there but he can't--and if i ask him to leave he must do so immediately or else I will call the cops on his azz for trespassing :squint:)

    I just wanted some reassurance I am correct in still not letting him back in...just because he has a job and can help me financially does not mean everything else about him has changed (his selfish, greedy nature was evident the way he ate my last burrito last night without asking me first :greddy:)

    I also wanted to update you all how I was doing with this...the original thread is like 2 years old now :eek3:
     
  10. Zee916

    Zee916 Engineering the world.......

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    I don't see a problem if you two can handle being around each other and your son does not have a problem with it.

    No way in hell my parents could have stood being in the same room or even the same house after they got divorced.
     
  11. OhFourTwoThree

    OhFourTwoThree New Member

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    It sounds like you are considering letting him move back in for convenience (babysitter) and because of the financial help he may be able to provide. I believe this is a very bad idea because in reality, pretty soon you guys will get annoyed w/each other and start arguing like a couple. It's better just to keep your space unless you want to get back with him.
     
  12. Stilgar1973

    Stilgar1973 New Member

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    I gotta tell ya.
    I feel nothing for you.
    I feel nothing for him.
    But your kid. Fuck. What is this doing to the kid?

    I mean... is it a boy or a girl?
    What is the message you are sending?

    The message I am getting is that Dad is a pretty good convience. He has money, he can babysit...
    um....
    but he isn't good for much else.

    When this kid is old enough to have his/her own kids, what is he/her gonna make out of the Father role in those kids life?

    I mean, I know you say the guy is kind of scummy. I kind of have to take your word for it. I am sure he has stuff to say about you too.
    But lets face it, you made a kid with this guy. You chose to do this. You caused this.
    And now you have this kid forming opinions of how Mommy/Daddy relationships are gonna work - and this is all he has to look at?

    Damned sad.
     
  13. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    You're doing the right thing. He doesn't need to live there.
     
  14. Ricky

    Ricky █▄ █▄█ █▄ ▀█▄

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  15. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    only thing worse than divorced parents is undivorced parents who should be divorced
     
  16. blackgrrl23

    blackgrrl23 If the game ain't money, then I ain't playing.

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    so what i did to solve the problem? :x:

    1st i simply told him if he wants to come see his son, he's welcome to come over but no overnights or talk of living together. point blank. my place, my rules. :squint:

    I also spoke with my lawyer friday in regards to his lack of following the visitation agreement (I WANT him to see/take care of his son more often, not keep him away from him, i don't know why some of you think that :hsugh:). the lawyer said basically i can't force him to see his son and basically thats on him to explain to his son why he didnt show up. it would hurt him should he ever decide to try to gain custody (right now i have sole physical but he has liberal visitation).

    so basically everything is ok. although he said he would take him next saturday am I am not holding my hopes up. :hsd:
     
  17. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    first reason there's still drama...because of YOU.

    second reason there's still drama...because of YOU.

    third reason there's still drama...

    right now? so you're sending signals that you may want him to live with you in the future but not "right now"?
     
  18. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    of course you are right for not letting him back if you don't want him back.

    but you need to stop play games on your side before he'll stop playing them from his side.
     

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