LGBT Why is being "Bi" so wrong?

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by weezaawhut, Sep 28, 2007.

  1. weezaawhut

    weezaawhut New Member

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    Okay, let me explain.

    I don't have a problem with bi or bi-curious sexuality - not one bit.
    However, over the past several years, I've found many people have a serious complex with people who are bi. Now - having said that - some of these same people have NO problems at all with people who are just "all gay" or "all lesbian
    ":uh:

    Is it that these people are a little jealous that people that are bi get to enjoy the "best of both worlds?" *as I so once heard it put* Is it that they think people should just stick with one or the other? Whats the deal?

    Tell me what you all think.:wiggle:
     
  2. Ivan

    Ivan New Member

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    Well, how can it be wrong if you like both worlds and just can't help it?
    That's what I think.
     
  3. weezaawhut

    weezaawhut New Member

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    Thats the thing though - I don't think it's wrong period. There are just some who do. Just trying to figure out the reasoning behind it
     
  4. kidwiththeshirt

    kidwiththeshirt I'm gay, big deal, wanna fight about it?

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    The way I view bi is just people who can't decide what they want and are just trying out both until they realize which one they enjoy more.

    That, or they're just hiding the fact that they're actually gay
     
  5. Matitulo

    Matitulo If sexy never left then why is everybody on my shi

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    In my experience, especially with dealing with my family, a lot of people just can't grasp the concept of liking both sexes. To them, you have to either be gay or straight, or at least in favor of one or the other. It just has to deal with people not being able to understand that in the same way they naturally prefer solely one sex, we naturally prefer both sexes, and find them equally attractive.

    That being said, once my female friends found out I was bi and I was dating a guy, they immediately wanted to have a three-way. :dunno:
     
  6. Matitulo

    Matitulo If sexy never left then why is everybody on my shi

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    That also, whoever you're dating will have double the competition.
     
  7. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Another reality apparently
    because we live in a world where people see black & white, and a little bit of grey makes them uncomfortable.
     
  8. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    this is what I dont like.

    then again - I shouldnt hate, lots of people go through their own phases.

    I'm just not a fan of those who cant deal with their internalized homphobia and never actually let themselves believe they're gay. Whatev. There is more to it all than I claim to know or understand.

    some people just make me angry and sometimes those people say they're bi and clearly arent.
     
  9. Digital_

    Digital_ New Member

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    I'm 100% bisexual, but most gay people are less tolerant of that than straight people have been intollerant of me being "gay". So identify as gay, so I don't have to explain it anymore.
     
  10. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    :hs:
     
  11. OakleyTodd

    OakleyTodd New Member

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    Well I for one have been trying to decide for about 15 years now! I still enjoy both. Here are my weekend plans: Tomorrow night will kick it with a guy friend for some fun, and then Sunday night going to go have some fun with a female friend.
     
  12. smurfette

    smurfette New Member

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    I'm going to have to disagree with you there. While it may be the that way for some, bisexual is not just a "waiting area" until you decide if you're gay or straight. I can't stand it when people tell me I'm going through a phase. I've had boyfriends and I enjoyed the romantic and sexual aspects of those relationships. I currently have a girlfriend (and have had other experiences with girls) and have, again, enjoyed all aspects 100%.

    In reference to the original post; bisexuals have the stigma attached to them that suggests they have sex with anything that moves. I think that's why people have a problem with it...

    *shrug*
     
  13. ExDelayed

    ExDelayed New Member

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    :werd: :werd:

    Though I will be the first to admit there are a few fish I would fuck, as long as I dont have to eat them first.
     
  14. novo

    novo Pokey Man OT Supporter

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    i don't know what I can say about being bi. i just am. deal with it.
     
  15. weezaawhut

    weezaawhut New Member

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    I think thats about as naturally put as it gets ;)
    Although, in obvious ways, it's different for everyone
     
  16. weezaawhut

    weezaawhut New Member

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    So here's my next issue - then I'll leave it alone :rofl:

    What makes a person who Identifies as Bi-Sexual really Bi-Sexual?

    I bring this up for one of several reasons. My life long friend, who was my first g/f - now my BFFL *lol* said at one time that she's "strickly dickly" :rofl: However, one drunken night, her b/f at the time asked if she would be grossed out to have a three-some - Him, her and another girl. Sooo she was like okay, give it a try. She was just amazed at and a little freaked out at the same time how wonderful it was being with her man and another women. So she got brave and tried it again, same results each time - tho each time it happened, it just got better and better. "I had no idea there could be such a strong sexual connection with someone of the same sex" she says to me. So over the years, she's been with both men and women off and on - some at the same time *open realtionships or whateve* That I know of, she hasn't been with a girl in a long time - just guys.

    THEN.. one fine day I used the term "bi-sexual" in reference to her and she got all uptight and was like "Oh no I'm not! Just because it's "Fun" to be with a girl sexually, doesn't mean I'm Bi. Men will always be my sexual preference. I'm emotionally and sexually attracted to men, but just sexually attracted to women.. There's a difference" Yet, still to this day, some of the "best sex" she's ever had was with a women.

    So.... Does bi mean you need to have an equal attraction to both men and women whether it be physically/emotionally or both? Or.. In my instance, does it mean I'm bi because tho I prefer men, I'll fool around with a girl given the opportunity (which has happened and I liked it just as much) Equally sexually functional either way.... What say you?
     
  17. Bib-Lettuce

    Bib-Lettuce New Member

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    I guess because being 'Bi-Sexual' isn't really a label because it's too broad. I mean I don't even know the terminology for sexuality. I have a guy friend who has no problem giving/receiving oral sex from other men, and has no problem receiving anal from men. But dating/kissing/fucking men has no appeal to him whatsoever. He has never done any of these things but he has said he was up for them, does this mean he's bi-curious until he tries them? Because once he's tried he wouldn't be 'curious' anymore would he? But I always assumed being Bi-sexual was being open for everyone with both sexes ... Or does it just cover wanting anything from the same sex aswell as the other?
     
  18. weezaawhut

    weezaawhut New Member

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    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    I think no matter what you do - gives you bi-sexual status. Any Sexual act with the same sex while enjoying the same with the opposite sex. Regardless - you like to get/give head and bottom, but won't top? Thats kind of like a sub-catagory *top/bottom* It's preference. I'd consider that bi. However, "Bi-Curious" I'd define as someone who's not actually done any act with the same sex - just thinks/fantasizes about it.. Being curious as to what it would be like - not an actual act. Thats me tho
     
  19. busydoingnothing

    busydoingnothing A broken man too tough to cry

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    .

    That pretty much sums it up. I think a lot of the animosity from the gay community towards bisexuals is in the way bisexuals seemingly "avoid" a lot of the negativity that the gays deal with because of their sexuality. Some/a lot of bisexuals (mostly males, I would think; myself included) will label themselves as straight since their gay side isn't prominent enough, and I'm sure that's looked down on by teh gays.

    Bisexuality is not a waiting period. Bisexuality is not a transitional period. There are gay men who initially had sex with women. Were they straight before they were gay? The situation there is no different from bisexuals who date/sex both men and women.

    I consider myself mostly straight. I do get turned on by gay porn and masturbate to it on occasion, I own a vibrator that I use on myself, I can recognize hot men, but at the end of the day, I'm quite certain that I'm more attracted/into women than I am men. I'm curious as to what it's like to have sex with a man, but I'm not drawn to it enough to actually go through with it. Call it what you want, but it sure as hells seems like I fall somewhere in the bisexual realm.
     
  20. pulp priest

    pulp priest we're here! we're queer! we don't want any more be

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    I'd like to add my 2 cents. I'll argue this single point until the day I day.

    Your sexual orientation, be it gay, straight, bi, or anywhere in between, has nothing to do with any action. It has only to do with your reaction to environmental stimuli. If your mind and body respond erotically to the same sex, you're homosexual, the opposite sex, you're heterosexual, or both, you're bi. You can be a gay man without ever touching another man.

    Given this, it's important to remember that we can never ever ever ever ever ever know another person's sexual orientation for sure. We can guess, or we can go make an inference based on what they tell us or what we know about them, but, as we all know as queer members of contemporary society, lying about one's sexual orientation, and acting on that lie, can sometimes become so deeply ingrained in the psyche that we start to believe our own lie. Thus, I take issue with people who make blanket statements such as bisexual people are one's who have actually slept with both genders (I have and I sure as hell am not bi) or bi people don't really exist, or they're actually gay but just confused, since you really can't know for sure, and there's nothing more arrogant than claiming to know someone else's sexual orientation better than they do themselves, and it's such a waste of energy to scoff and get irritated when someone who is "clearly in the closet" says he's straight, or someone who's "clearly gay" says he's bi, because a) you can't know for sure, and b) who the hell are you to make that decision for them?

    I guess I should qualify all this with saying that I know that people obviously lie about their sexual orientation, and I've personally developed a little distrust of bi men, simply because many of the one's I've dealt with (ie slept with) have just dabbled in my bed and gone back to women. So whatever orientation they actually were, I've been treated like an "experiment" by too many bi men. One actually told me that he wasn't going to come out to anyone, because it's no one's business but his own if he wants to experiment with men. This after telling me that he's confused and all he knows for sure is that he loves me and wants to be with only me. :ugh:
     
  21. Arlo

    Arlo New Member

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    Gays are sometimes the toughest on bi's. I dont' have a problem with it - but some of my friends think they are just confused.
     
  22. Dont Go Away

    Dont Go Away New Member

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    I agree. My mom has a lot of gay friends and when she told them I was bi, they all just tried to convince her that I was just taking the easy way out so I wouldn't have to come all the way out.
     
  23. weezaawhut

    weezaawhut New Member

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    Well I'm Definately not out to offend anyone in any instance. I do not have anything again't bi people nor do I have a complete understanding of what "qualifies", if you will, a person to be bi - which is why I asked. I've just heard so many opinions of those whom I'm closest to (my friends, family, co-workers, ect.) and just wanted the opinion of those of a wider spectrum. Thank you all thus far.
     
  24. camarosrool

    camarosrool yes i am

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    minus whale jump in this too
    I dont feel bi is wrong, but I will not date a bi guy. I actually wont even give him a chance. I know it sounds a bit contradictory, but I will explain. I have reached a point in my life where I do not date for fun. I date with the purpose of finding someone to spend the rest of my life with. For someone to date me they have to be 100% faithful. Any cheating and they are gone. In my opinion, and thats all it is is an opinion, a guy that identifies himself as buy is holding out for the possibility of dating a female. To be my boyfriend you do not come into this relationship thinking about your future with someone else. I do not want to date someone that may look for things that I will never be able to offer. There are certain qualities about women that can be attractive and I will never be able to provide those things.
    I guess for cliffs ill say
    to be my official in an exclusive relationship boyfriend you must be willing and have a desire to be with me and only me for the rest of our lives in a gay relationship.
     
  25. busydoingnothing

    busydoingnothing A broken man too tough to cry

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    I think bi men in general (read: not all bi men) are more interested in sex with men rather than an emotional connection with men. With that in mind, I can certainly see where you're coming from.
     

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