LGBT Why I chose to be gay

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by NOVAJock, Apr 23, 2008.

  1. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2002
    Messages:
    15,260
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Nowhere in particular
    Why I chose to be gay

    Curtis Hill, Columnist, [email protected]
    Issue date: 4/23/08 Section: Opinion
    Source: SMUDailyCampus.com

    When I was four or five years old, I could frequently be found in a dress, playing with Barbies or watching the television show "Gem." You know, that cartoon in which the animated girl with the pink hair had a rock-star alter ego? Yes, that's the one. Even though I knew it'd be over after 30 minutes, I don't think it ever ended without me shedding a few tears. When I was six, due to my obsession with the movie "The Wizard of Oz," I insisted upon dressing up as the Wicked Witch of the West, complete with green makeup, the black pointy hat and long fake nails to boot. When I was seven or eight, I told my friends and family that when I grew up, I wanted to be a makeup artist, a hairdresser or a figure skater. Pretty gay, right?

    I know that some of you are already wondering where my parents were through all of this. What kind of parents would let their son act as if he were their daughter? Well, I don't know what they discussed behind closed doors, but I'm pretty sure that they weren't exactly thrilled to have a boy whose favorite pastimes include collecting figurines, painting fingernails, and walking around in high heels. If nothing else, I'm sure they were worried about how other children would treat me. To be completely honest, it wasn't all pink and pretty. My dad would take me camping, fishing, to ball games and all of the other expected activities for a father and son to participate in. However, I still remember when he took me to the toy store for my birthday one year, and I had to choose between a G.I Joe fort and a Barbie Corvette. I guess I was beginning to pick up on what society considered to be normal, and I selected the fort. When we got in the car, I started crying. I wanted that pink corvette more than anything in the world, and my dad didn't even have to ask me why I was upset. He held my hand as we walked back in the store and made the exchange.

    I want to be clear that not every gay man played with dolls as a child, and not every boy who does turns out to be gay. However, most boys with similar childhood inclinations do not grow up in accepting homes. Many of my friends have told me stories about how they were scolded or even punished for participating in feminine activities even though they were only doing what felt natural to them. Imagine what it must feel like to an innocent child who is made to feel as though something is wrong with them, taught at an early age to put on a show, to be someone they are not. The damage is different for every individual, but I know firsthand that the side effects never truly disappear.

    When I was in the fourth grade, I remember running home crying. Someone at school had called me a "gay wad." I didn't really understand what it meant, but I knew from the way that it was said and the way the other kids laughed that it wasn't a compliment. I couldn't understand it. I was nice to everyone and always tried to do the right thing. How could I be something so awful?

    By sixth grade, my first year in middle school, I knew what being gay meant. I also understood that I was, in fact, what that kid had called me two years before. Because I owned a Bible of my own, I went through and read all of the verses pertaining to homosexuality. It was torturous, and while I would later realize that I had allies in my struggle, I felt alone at the time and forced to hide. I prayed to God every night that year that He would change me, that he would make me normal. I had girlfriends to try and fit in, but my parents had taught me the difference between right and wrong. I knew that lying was wrong, and I began to wonder why it was safer and more acceptable for me to lie to everyone than to just be honest.

    Today, as I write this, I am being more honest than I have ever been. While I know that many people won't be too happy about what I'm about to say, I know it'll be worth it if this reaches even one person who desperately needs to hear that their sexuality does not make them a good or a bad person.

    To this day, there is a war being waged against homosexuality. Whether it's as extreme as the radical groups who hold up signs that read, "God hates fags," or well-intentioned friends or family members who use a variation of the sentence, "I love and accept you, but I don't support your lifestyle," the effects are the same. Most people who don't approve of homosexuality believe that it is a choice. While it seems obvious to me that physical attraction is a trait beyond one's control, others disagree. I have had friends who have been sent to camps and programs to be changed (yes, they do exist) and have come out broken, confused and still…well, gay. In fact, these types of organizations and counselors who believe in similar methods have done nothing but increase the suicide rate among gay teens, which is the highest of any other group.

    Even if a man or woman who is attracted to the same sex ignores their desires and lives a life of celibacy, he or she is still gay. While I prayed every night in the sixth grade to wake up and be interested in girls, it never happened. If it happens tomorrow, I promise to retract this article as soon as I regain consciousness and dump my boyfriend.

    Why someone would ever choose to be treated as a second-class citizen without the same rights and privileges as heterosexuals, putting his or herself at risk of being a victim of a hate crime, or at risk of being disowned by his or her own family is beyond my comprehension. So if choosing to not be gay means going to back to the way I felt in sixth grade when I would cry myself to sleep at night because of fear and shame, then yes, I choose to be gay.

    Curtis Hill is a senior advertising major. He can be reached for comment at [email protected].
     
  2. Josey

    Josey New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2005
    Messages:
    14,690
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    ...Houston...
    ok...
     
  3. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2001
    Messages:
    78,919
    Likes Received:
    64
    Location:
    Western MA
    cool.

    I feel the same way as him (minus all the faggy stuff)

















    (kidding, of course)
     
  4. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2004
    Messages:
    12,343
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland ; the land of Mary's...
    ..very well written. I like!
     
  5. blaq19

    blaq19 New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2006
    Messages:
    2,622
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bmore - Manhattan
    .
     
  6. Naturally Baked

    Naturally Baked Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2007
    Messages:
    27,942
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Detroit, Murder Mitten
    really good write up. I remember when I was younger I used to play with barbies with my sister, I wanted to get the barbie jet ski set. And one day I did, I then took the jet ski and pretended to run all of the barbies over lol...thats like, one of the only things I remember from being that young (6 or 7). I also did a lot of embarrassing stuff that I don't feel like talking about haha.
     
  7. Sckrewy

    Sckrewy New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2008
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    0
    Wow, well done. :bowdown:
     
  8. Drloveless

    Drloveless Mac Crew

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2005
    Messages:
    652
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronots
    Was I the only one that opted for matchbox cars? It was lego, matchbox and biking. I had a barbie, and i brunt her hair off with a lighter.
     
  9. Naturally Baked

    Naturally Baked Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2007
    Messages:
    27,942
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Detroit, Murder Mitten
    I had matchbox/hotwheels too. And power wheels....Id line them all up and prentend to be searching for a parking spot, idk why, but parking was always the best part of going in the car for me as a kid :rofl:
     
  10. LA02MAX

    LA02MAX New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2006
    Messages:
    2,294
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Baton Rouge, LA
    :werd:

    All my toys consisted of cars, legos, and bikes. My brother and I even had a city we built in one of the yards on the side of our house using tonka tractors. lol shit was badass, we'd make roads and pretend like we were driving through them..good times, good times.
     
  11. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2001
    Messages:
    78,919
    Likes Received:
    64
    Location:
    Western MA
    I had matchbox cars and legos...

    I had no interest in trucks or guns...
    But, I didn't have much of a need for barbies either

    still... those are some fucking cool parents... it's not often you find a parent that loves their child unconditionally... most parents have conditions... ("You can't be gay", "You can't marry outside of your race", "You can't be fat", etc)
     
  12. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2004
    Messages:
    12,343
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland ; the land of Mary's...
    When I was a lil boy, I had the matchbox cars, and the Thundercats fighting appendages, and the GI Joe action figures, and the two foot tall transformers, and every piece of sporting equipment that you can imagine... I discovered early that lil boys loved those things, and I loved lil boys.

    The others never knew, but I also had the easy back oven (until I discovered how limited it was: "Moooooom, I need a bigger kitchen!"), an assortment of Barbie sets (I was the second to youngest, and the only male child), the 'Gem' sing-along VHS tapes (no DVDs yet), and cabbage patch kids. I remember using the Barbie's as inspiration and redesigning the outfits for my cabbage patch kids. And my lil sister would always have me to do her Barbie's hair because I was so good at it, and even got in trouble because I ultimately graduated to giving my long-haired lil sister a hair cut ("Mooooom, look at her...it was time! Bangs are sooooo over.")
     
  13. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2004
    Messages:
    12,343
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland ; the land of Mary's...
    Really, you had legos?? I had these things that I always assumed predated legos. They were wooden, and you could build houses and cabins out of them. Sooooo much fun, but I guess had less dexterity than plastic legos.
     
  14. Bib-Lettuce

    Bib-Lettuce New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2004
    Messages:
    832
    Likes Received:
    0
    I had LEGO
     
  15. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2001
    Messages:
    78,919
    Likes Received:
    64
    Location:
    Western MA
    Lincoln Logs?
     
  16. dallasfan824

    dallasfan824 New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2008
    Messages:
    840
    Likes Received:
    0
    Nobody likes a fattie.
     
  17. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2004
    Messages:
    12,343
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland ; the land of Mary's...
    Wasn't sure at first, but google image search reveals that those are probably what I had.
     
  18. brokengold

    brokengold New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2007
    Messages:
    47,933
    Likes Received:
    0
    I still don't know what Gem is. Apparently it's a TV show that turned some people homoghey? :o
     
  19. dallasfan824

    dallasfan824 New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2008
    Messages:
    840
    Likes Received:
    0
    I though that was Project Runway :shrug
     
  20. Ivan

    Ivan New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    2,307
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Spain
  21. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2004
    Messages:
    12,343
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland ; the land of Mary's...
  22. tattooed_sailor

    tattooed_sailor New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2007
    Messages:
    5,633
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Your living room
    I read the entire Kinsey book at age ten.
     
  23. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2004
    Messages:
    12,343
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland ; the land of Mary's...
    By age ten, I had read (twice) 'Everything that you wanted to know about sex (*but were afraid to ask)'.

    I remember laughing my way through it, because of the chapters on masturbation and homosexuality especially were pure comic gold! This book gave testimonials from the wildest individuals, and then had supplemental commentaries by the most conservative people imaginable. I remember by the time I hit high school, there were several updated editions...all wonderfully entertaining, in an :ugh: sorta way.
     
  24. Lovely Atlantis

    Lovely Atlantis Luscious Lovely Lady!

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2006
    Messages:
    1,527
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Vancouver
    wow I keep discovering from more and more people on OT that I was not the only person given this book. I got the girls version ofcourse. That book was pretty much the extent of my sexual education and left me with some pretty uneducated messed up ideas. :ugh2:
     
  25. blaq19

    blaq19 New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2006
    Messages:
    2,622
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bmore - Manhattan
    LOL... Me too, parking and then re-parking! :rofl:
     

Share This Page