SRS Why don't I want to date?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by GlassUser, Sep 2, 2009.

  1. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    I know a lot of girls. I see them pretty regularly. They often say we should hang out, go places etc. I just can't convince myself to do it. It's like it's just not worth the effort it takes to go places and do things.

    In abstract, I know I'd like to have a steady girlfriend and get married. I guess I can't see any of the girls I know being her. Maybe I don't know anyone who's girlfriend material?

    I know the real answer. I just haven't met the right one and there's no spark. It will all change when I meet the right kind of girl. I just wanted to vent on here.
     
  2. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    Same here.

    By any chance, are you an INTJ? (based on the MBTI, google it if you don't know what it is)
     
  3. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Dead solid INTJ, yep.
     
  4. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    I'm an INTJ too. It's just how we're wired.

    It's like we don't want to invest our time in something that has no future (because we think a lot in terms of long-term).

    Like you said, you'll know her when you meet her. That's our "intuition" part of us telling us "this is the girl for me".
     
  5. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Guess so. Except she died.
     
  6. CaminoReal

    CaminoReal Custom User Title

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    Is there a common theme that the women you're meeting are lacking?
     
  7. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Well they all seem to be lacking self respect and the drive to get anywhere in life. But women that do have those are pretty rare overall, so I don't think that part is just me.
     
  8. CaminoReal

    CaminoReal Custom User Title

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    Well, at least you can pinpoint what you should be looking for in future meetings...
     
  9. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    I do look for it. I just don't see it.
     
  10. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    That sucks...I think I remember you mentioning it before. Car accident?
     
  11. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Yep.
     
  12. lick wid nit wit

    lick wid nit wit Official OT Oracle

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    Don't feel so bad. I don't want to date either. It just seems like SUCH a pain in the ass. Sure I'd like to be in a relationship again but I just don't want to go through all that dating/meeting someone new crap. Can we just skip that part, please?
     
  13. vitamin dew

    vitamin dew New Member

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    Just wiki'd K2's post, looks like im an INTJ as well. That explains a lot, really, with my current situation. Goodluck
     
  14. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    you made a wiki out of it? What?
     
  15. Matt550

    Matt550 New Member

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    Very interesting, that sounds a lot like me.
     
  16. borazhasleftthebuilding

    borazhasleftthebuilding Lets Party OT Supporter

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    this is why.
     
  17. vitamin dew

    vitamin dew New Member

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    no, I read the wiki page for it because I didn't know what MBTI was
     
  18. DubyaS6

    DubyaS6 New Member

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    Just found out that I am an INTJ also...and female.

    I have more traits (not physically) of a male than I do of a female. I am not the one interested in relationships AT ALL. I have never been. It just seems like a lot of BS and blah blah blah.

    I am a self driven person and am very independent so it was REALLY hard for me to find someone that wasnt to "clingy" for me and that would take care of themself and not rely on me to do that. I dont really have that motherly instinct, nor do I really want to...ya know?

    I did find someone though. He is a perfect fit for me. He has his own carreer, life, things, etc. but yet still makes me feel like he needs me and wants me. Its a fine line with me, but he is the perfect combination of independence/dependence for me.

    After 2 years together, we will be married in 6 months :)
     
  19. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    If the love of my life died, I don't think I would be even remotely interested in a relationship for a long long time. This sounds normal to me.
     
  20. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    Take this and find out for sure if you really are INTJ. 16 MBTI types out there.

    http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp
     
  21. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Well it was a couple of years ago.
     
  22. DubyaS6

    DubyaS6 New Member

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    Do you find yourself comparing others to her?

    While this would be completely normal, it would also be a reason why you are not finding anyone that is suitable in your eyes...no one will be able to replace her...
     
  23. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Not really. I just find myself not thinking about other girls as good enough overall. I have noticed I've been thinking about her more lately, now that it's been mentioned.
     
  24. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Your brain does lots of stuff you're not aware of; the cerebral cortex is only tied into the lesser-evolved parts of your brain that it needs to be tied into. Everyone wants to marry up, and somewhere in the back of your mind there are some brain cells that are busy comparing every girl you meet to the girl who set the bar for you, because they haven't been forced to throw away the checklist and start from scratch.
     
  25. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    Glassuser, what was her personality like? Was she quiet/thoughtful or was she bubbly (like, "ALIVE!", chatty, spontaneous)?

    I find myself being drawn to the latter. Like a yin-yang kind of thing, to balance my INTJ self. Although the last girl I was absolutely nuts for was more of an "I" type... but she didn't like me back, sadly.
     

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