SRS Why does life keep going in a downwards spiral?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Swak, Sep 20, 2007.

  1. Swak

    Swak Artificially known as ObsoleteAsian

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2004
    Messages:
    18,996
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chatsworth, California
    Ever since my father's death, everything seems to be working against me.

    I really need one fucking reason or sign that life is worth another day.
     
  2. Dysfnctnl85

    Dysfnctnl85 IT/Apple/Rotary/(D)SLR Crew

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2004
    Messages:
    3,064
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Fayetteville, Georgia
    I don't know what it's like to go through what you're going through...but would your father want you to have an outlook like that?
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    The meaning of life is to love everyone and help others, the reason why you work to progress is to get yourself out of the misery you are in. And when it comes to that

    Don't blame your parents. Don't blame god. You are responsible for who you are. If you want to change who you are, fucking do it. Blaming your genes or your invisible friend and continuing to live the lifestyle you hate will get you nowhere. Accept that you dug the hole you are in, now you've gotta pull yourself out of it if that is indeed what you want to do.

    If you are in a rut and stuck with your life, you need to give it a swing in a new and positive direction by carving a new path with your own power.

    Do not expect leperchauns to appear and solve your issues, do not wait, be the dictator of your own life and take the situation in your own hands.

    There are only three directions in life, down where death lies, stay where you are and go in circles, or up where an improved life lies ahead, the first 2 are worthless and lead to nowhere, this is important because it means you can set the course of your life, to the only direction that is valuable ,namely upwards towards into progress. It doesn't matter from there on wether you win or lose in life, you simply keep on following the positive course, that way you can ALWAYS be confident no matter what happens, because you know that going for gold in your life is the only right way to live.

    If change was just a thought, then anyone could do it. But reality is that you can't just sit around feeling miserable for yourself and the situation you are in while being punched in the face by the reality of life. Those thoughts of change, can't become real if you just sit around feeling sorry for yourself, if you want to change then why would you stay in a state of paralyzation? If that happens it means you do not want to change, you are simply waiting for the world and people to change around you as you see fit, therefore

    Without walking, there's no way to move forward, you'll just end up waiting.
     
  4. Swak

    Swak Artificially known as ObsoleteAsian

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2004
    Messages:
    18,996
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chatsworth, California
    Usually I do well with my life, more than most as I am told by close friends. I look for them for a lot of strength with the issues that I have to deal with. I guess the biggest issue is that I don't share with people my issues to a sense of release so this build up has been happening and taking its toll. One thing that made it extremly difficult in my life is that my mother loves to play with my sister and our lives. As much as I would love to go through my whole life and explain the tread I had, it would be a fun loving bible. I guess life in it self isn't the issue that fucks with me. I am never worried about jobs, money or things like this. Getting where I want in life was never a fear for me. But I became doubtful recently, this happening after my fathers death that was so random and the hardships that came with his passing. I expected my mom to be my parent someone that I can go to but instead she chose her drug use over my sister and I. She also loves making my sister and I feel guilty about our lives. This of course turned into self hate in me. Thinking that I am a bad son, that my life wasn't worth anything to anyone. I know how dumb this sounds but when your a stupid fuck like me, you keep this shit bottled. It doesn't bother at first but now knowing I have no one to really look up at for guidance. I feel like a loose missile, working without care. Questioning the point of life, watching the mundane pain I go with and starting not to want to keep doing this shit.


    Yesterday was a good change for me, tho. This thread kind of helped me because a random OTer that I don't even know personally offered to talk to me about my things. And it was nice to have a third party mystery person to let out too. It helped. Last night one of my friends actually a few of my friends came over and my friend and I cooked a crazy feast for them. I like to cook here and there for people. We made an awesome feast my parts being my little style of Hawaiian poke, and a new recipe I tried well it was two older recipes that i use to make that I combined and added a few things together that sounded good. It was breaded seared ahi tuna with a special mix of mango salsa with avocado slices and jalapeño slices. Now thinking about it I should make an EDU, because everyone who tried it was amazed it was nice to provide that type of feel to people. Anyways I know these things aren't magical but these are the only steps in my mind that I have been working with in order to regain my older self again. I also have cut off communication with my mother the past month because it is the only way I am going to get over the issue with her that will never end. As much as it hurts to turn my back on my mother it is something I need to do in order to continue my life.
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    The problem is that you made your making your heart a murder hole, like a steam kettle has to release steam every now and then, you need to lift and blow some steam from now and then, otherwhise the pressure builds up to the point that you explode. In the current state that she is , you don't need your mother, you can lift your heart here and distance yourself from people who are pessimistic about life and push out the people from your life who do nothing else but contribute misery to your life like your mother does. It's contagious. Doing so will stop the rain of hate falling down into your inner world. You don't need negative people in your life, you can miss them like a bad toothacke. I tell you this, negativity = the bringer of misery. It takes some time to recover from the non-sense your mom has been feeding you, think of it, she's the one who steered your life into a wrong direction when you where having a tough time in your life, what has that helped you in any way with your life? Although you shouldn't hate her for that. You have nothing to be or feel guilty off. If i was your father id be damn proud to have a son like you! I support you 1000% in your cooking abilities, the way i see it you can run your own succesfull bussiness for sure, doing the thing that you love vigerously. I prefer your constructive cooking abilities , over your mothers drug abuse any given day. She's just trying to project her own unaccomplished life upon the two of you, you should NOT allow her to do that. Don't allow yourself to be dragged into the negativity of others.

    Never surrender.
     
  6. joWalla

    joWalla New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2006
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    Stay strong! There is nothing in life that we cant overcome. It's not going to be a walk in the park, but if you have faith in yourself, you will get through this 100%.
     
  7. Swak

    Swak Artificially known as ObsoleteAsian

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2004
    Messages:
    18,996
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chatsworth, California
    Thank you DE for your comments. I do greatly appreciate your insight. Whenever I get out of tweak I always end up in this forum and you always happily advise my threads every time. So thank you.

    Also thank you jo for your supportive thoughts. These two posts made my day.
     

Share This Page