SRS why does it hurt so much to care for someone

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Crankshaft, Jul 3, 2006.

  1. Crankshaft

    Crankshaft I love Cheetos motherfucker

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    little backstory, I started hanging out with a gal back in March. She'd just come off a bad breakup and I started out just being a friend and being there for her. Now she isn't my usual type. She's had kids with different guys and she's even chunkier that I usually go for.

    As the months went on I found myself really starting to care for her and we spent like 90% of our time together which just made me care more. She wasn't ready for a relationship so soon after her breakup and I respected that.

    One day about 6 weeks ago she mentioned how she thought she was ready to test the dating waters again and I took my opportunity. Now up to this point we'd fooled around and stuff but that's all it was at least to her. I made my intentions clear that I wanted to date her. She replied with an ok but that she also wanted to date other guys to see what was out there and to be sure she found the right one this time.

    I thought I was cool with that as I felt I had a lot to offer and we'd spent so much time together I thought she sort of felt the same way.

    Well she ran into an ex she dated a few years back, only for a few weeks tho. He was a stripper at the time so he has the usual good looks and amazing body. Even now at like 35. Well he isn't a stripper anymore but makes damn good money with his new career.

    Things were going well and she still spent a lot of her time with me. Our first "official" date was fast approaching then the worst happened. I got laid off from my job. That week I spent 3 nights in a row there and on the last night she did the unthinkable for her...she made the first move and started kissing me in bed then after a while she just stopped and went to sleep.

    The end of that week had her go on a date with that ex stripper and another guy who showed interest and that weekend we had our date. She was really tired from her previous 2 dates which she stayed up really late and she fell asleep on my couch at the end of the night. I was dissapointed to say the least.

    That was 3 weeks ago and since then she has been distant. Last week I spent 4 nights there and not once did I get any hugs or cuddling like she used to do. I asked her one morning what was up with her being distant and she told me it was because she started feeling comfortable with me and it scared her.

    Well that was the last time I saw her and I wanted to spend Canada Day with her but she had said earlier that she was going to spend it with some friends of hers which I was cool with since she hadn't seen them in a while.

    On Saturday I told her that if she wasn't busy I'd like to hang out with her on Sunday. Well i called her at noon on Sunday and she didn't answer or call me back until like 3pm. She told me that she ended up running into that stripper boy and went back to his place with a few of his friends and didn't get home until 4am. She then told me that she knew I wanted to get together but she'd made plans with somebody. She didn't say who or what but by her avoiding the issue and other things she told me about the previous night I know she went on a date with another guy.

    I know we aren't exclusive but that still irked me a bit and she said that she would get together with me today (Monday) after hanging out with a close friend.

    Now my issue is this. I really care for her but it seems more and more that she's distancing herself from me or her feelings for me.

    Now I feel as though I may have only been a filler as she's starting to go out with other guys and telling me in advance that she's going to be busy on certain days.

    I want to confront her about this and how she feels about me but I'm terrified of her answer. This is the first person I've ever felt as though I could have a life with.

    I'm so confused, I want to be with her but I don't know if she wants to be with me or if she's forcing herself to try to have feelings for me.

    Sorry for the long winded explanation and I'm sure I've left parts out but I just needed to get this out
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    You have been used as an emotional tampon. You where nothing more then a crutch to support her thru her difficult time, only for her to run back to her ex at the first given oppertunity. And that stripper is a professional womanizer, you think you can go up against that and against that body of his? Maby you could but the odds are against you , what made you go into a relationship with a woman that had so much 'baggage'? , basically because she presented herself on a plate to you, so you'd could give her the easy comfort and support, girls know that there are desperate men out there who will give them attention in return for high hopes of a relationship. In reality you where never her nr1. And this is what is wrong here, you should be with a woman that considers you as her nr.1. What are you doing to yourself? Is the most vital question, your so easily susceptible, its nice that you love her and all but you need to have third eye to see these kinds of things coming.
     
  3. Crankshaft

    Crankshaft I love Cheetos motherfucker

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    Exactly...I don't think she knows what she wants and is just playing a few guys to see who she wants to be with more. I'm beginning to realize that and even started talking with another woman who I have a lot more in common with and who doesn't seem to have baggage. At least none that I can see yet.

    She should never have started dating again until she was totally over her ex. She is using me and most likely the other guys in an attempt to try to forget the other guy.

    I seem to attract these types of women which is a habit I am really trying to break.

    And thanks for the third party perspective :) I've never used this forum before but may be around here a lot more to get help and to offer help where I can :)
     

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