Everything that happens in my life just turns out to be so negative. I recently lost my shitty job about 1.5 months ago. I still live at home with the parents at 26 and I have never lived out on my own. Bad things keep happening to me. Just recently I meet a wonderfull girl online and we met up on a first date which went extremely well. Then the 2nd date came which involved her best friends b-day party and I just knew that something bad was going to happen by just attending. I wound up drinking too much, not being sociable with my date and her friends and then they dropped me off to my car and I drove home. I ended up getting a DUI not 5 miles from my house and now I lost the girl (she won't return any contact from me), my license, and I will suffer higher insurance rates. It will be extremely hard to find a job during this time as well. It's like my main purpose here on earth is just to experience all the negative things of this world so many others can experience the positives. I am starting to believe that there is a ying yang/chaos theory here. I am really at the bottom here guys, my life has not changed a bit in the last 8 yrs, no matter what I do I always end up at the begining. I don't really feel like going on anymore because I know what I have to look forward to, loneliness, bittnerness, jobless or stuck with a shitty job, still live at home and just plain miserable. I really want to end it but it's the whole "not knowing what is after death" thing that keeps me form doing it. If there was nothingness just like when I sleep at night then yes I would gladly off myself.