SRS why do people have children?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by cent, Jan 20, 2009.

  1. cent

    cent New Member

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    my gf really wants to have a child with me, but I don't want one. She is about to turn 25 and I'm 29.I've never had any desire to have children and can't think of any reason why I need one. I don't want to be single forever, however, but it's pretty much down to if I don't get her pregnant then she is leaving me. And pretty much all of the other women i've been with have wanted to have kids too, although none have broken up with me solely because I don't want to have children (most of the others broke up with either because they weren't what I was looking for, or her family didn't like me). I don't think there is anything especially wrong with me, I work in the computer field making average salary for the area, have a house, 3 cars (95 - 00 model years, not new, but not too old either, and all 3 run fine), in good health, etc.

    I said maybe after we get married we can have a child, but really, I don't want to have any and have always felt this way. I just don't want to change diapers for 2 years, and then have a screaming, crying kid for the next 3 years. She has a 4 year old from another guy, and she tells me how good I am to him and a good replacement for his father who almost never talks to his son, and I don't have a problem taking care of a kid. I think honestly, that its easier to take care of a kid that is not mine then to take care of one that is mine. Anyway I don't really know what to do, I don't want to lose her, she's good to me, but I don't really want to have a child either.
     
  2. Variant

    Variant Cast in the name of God, ye not guilty.

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    I cut everything else out because this is the main point right here. If she's giving you ultimatums like this you need to show her the door.

    People have kids for a lot of different reasons, but if you're not ready, you're not ready, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

    P.S. you might want to post this in the Asylum.
     
  3. percent

    percent deluded

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    Wanting to have kids is about the most basic desire a person can have. There isn't a reason...everything else in life kinda revolves around that.
     
  4. Dissent

    Dissent OT Supporter

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    i second that.
     
  5. Original

    Original OT Supporter

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    everyone has different ideas about living "life."

    i'd say nearly every human wants a family in my experience.. and that could be husband/wife but many attribute children as well. it's something people do.. grow up, marry, and procreate.

    i'm still young, but kids will be the death of me. life is fulfilling as it is
     
  6. BoogieKnight

    BoogieKnight Active Member

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    I've had gfs that wanted to have kids. I never wanted them. To be fair to the gf, I have ended the relationship, because it is as selfish of me to deny them the children they want, as it is for them to convince me to have rugrats I don't want. I figured it was a matter of immaturity and as I got older, I'd eventually want kids. I am 29 now, and I still don't want kids. :o The girl I am talking to now, doesn't want them either....at least not yet. But women/girls are fickle, so it wouldn't surprise me at all if she became insistent on having kids someday.
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Do not ever have a kid with someone just because she says she'll leave you if you don't get her pregnant. If you don't want a kid at all you wont be a good father, and that's the most selfish thing of all. She's being an idiot for giving you an ultimatum of "give me a baby or we're through." I know my bf doesn't have a desire to be a father and I know as long as he has no desire to be a father I'll never want to have his child because it's just not right for him ans especially not the kid. And don't lead her on by saying you might want a kid if she marries you :uh:

    Women who don't want kids exist, I'm one of them.

    Edit-And she already has a kid? WTF! I thought maybe she didn't have one and that's why she had the instinct to want to be a mother but she already is :squint:
     
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2009
  8. Dodger Blue

    Dodger Blue OT Supporter

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    I think main reason I'd want children is because when I got older it could get awful lonely. I don't have any brothers or sisters so if I don't have kids then I might grow old by myself.

    But she wants another kid after already having one? I dunno about that one. She should be awful lucky you're a feasible replacement.
     
  9. Dio Seijuro

    Dio Seijuro New Member

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    You are asking two questions really. Why do people have children. And what you should do in your situation.

    The second question, I am gonna say unfortunately the relationship probably won't work out. There is no reason to have children just to please your girlfriend. Just date only women who don't want children. There are not many of them, but insist on this rather than settle for girls who want kids and then having to deal with the consequences.

    The first question, I think it's just a very natural need for most people. If you don't want kids, you are in the minority. But that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with that. Like I said, you do have to find a mate who also doesn't want kids.
     
  10. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    to keep our species alive :dunno:
     
  11. Dio Seijuro

    Dio Seijuro New Member

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    I doubt that's on most people's mind when they decide to have children.
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: I'd love to think that's why, but people are fucking dumb and selfish, whether most would admit it or not.
     
  13. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    i want a baby so i can dress it up and carry it on my hip and attach it to my tit in public to get lots of attention.

    i also want to be the boss of someone else and tell them what to do.

    ain't life grand
     
  14. Original

    Original OT Supporter

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    imo most people want kids just to fit in society. what else are you gonna do when you get older? married people have kids because it's a part of life, nothing else

    Don't get me wrong.. raising a child, teaching your child sports, and watching him/her grow up is quite an amazing thing. I see my parents' joy in their faces everytime i see them.

    but it's not for me :dunno:

    anyone on the opposite side of the spectrum? I wanna hear what people who want kids think :)
     
  15. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

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    TS - You don't want a kid so don't have one. If she does end it over this you won't be single forever. There's nothing wrong with you, just something wrong with her and this situation. I wouldn't go down the "maybe after we get married path". Leave it at "no and I don't know if that will ever change for me".
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Sad thing is I've actually heard women say that
     
  17. Joe_Cool

    Joe_Cool Never trust a woman or a government. Moderator

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    Mostly because if they don't, the human race will die out.
     
  18. Joe_Cool

    Joe_Cool Never trust a woman or a government. Moderator

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    I agree.
     
  19. lick wid nit wit

    lick wid nit wit Official OT Oracle

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    Worst reason for having a kid. Nothing in life is a guarantee and you can't be guranteed that kid will stick around to keep you company when you get older.

    Look at all the lonely people in rest homes. they have lots of family.... but their kids have abandoned them :ugh:
     
  20. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    From what my mom told me, it was the best thing in her life. Nothing brought her more joy than taking care of my brother and I. Even though my father never said it to my face, but I sometimes over hear him raving about how great my brother and I are to other family members and friends.

    Just from experience, it someone who you can pass your beliefs and skill down to. You also will have someone who you will truly love unconditionally.

    From a scientific point of view... it keeps your genes going.
     
  21. Jcxzero

    Jcxzero OT Supporter

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    Why do people want to do anything in life?
    Why do you want money?
    Why do you want to be financially successful?
    Why do you want to travel?
    Why do you want to do whatever you want to do?

    The only reason is satisfaction and a feeling of fulfilling your life. Different things satisfies different people. My life goal is to have a family of my own with maybe 2-3 kids.
     
  22. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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    Priorities man, you have different ones. Run away & don't look back.

    Her clock is ticking. It's seriously a crazed biological urge for women at times. I don't have any desire to fire one out, but I've felt that crazed feeling that makes part of me want to.

    Let her go off & find someone else to plant one in her cooter so you can achieve your life goals independently.
     
  23. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    That's a bit rich. You don't want kids, so why are you acting as if you have any clue what a woman who does want kids feels? I fell pregnant at 18. It wasn't planned. Then I had my second child at 24. And even then the urge and hungry for another child was very strong for a year before we fell pregnant. I can't explain it other than my whole thought process was taken over with the thought of having another baby. My then boyfriend wasn't ready and we spoke about why he wasn't ready. He told me all his reasons and I made sure I dealt with every one of them so all his fears were removed. I don't think I would have left him, but maybe I would have if he was a dead straight "Nope, never nada". DO NOT have a child unless you are ready!!! If she is ready and you arent and you can't talk and reach a compromise I would suggest maybe parting your ways. A woman's urge to have a baby is pretty obsessive
     
  24. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    it's a fair ultimatum. If she wants kids and he doesn't, then there's no point in continuing the relationship
     
  25. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    as for why people want kids, it's because some people don't find fulfilment in sheer consumerism and desire something more. Family gives you a bond you cannot find anywhere else
     

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