SRS Why do I see the problems of others in my relationship?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Redneck Shinobi, Mar 19, 2007.

  1. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2006
    Messages:
    7,506
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Vancouver, BC
    I have been in a relationship for four months. I have been really close to her for 7 months. I think things are/were fine, but when I read some of these threads, all I see are simularities.

    I've dealt with Jealousy most of my life, but it's a bastard I wish I didn't have. I remember threads saying myspace and facebook were ruining relationships and tonight I seen a bit in my own relationship.

    Little backstory:

    We talked a lot when we first met and I learned about men from her past and whatnot. She mentioned this guy she had a fling with, but that was that. They just fooled around and he couldn't fit inside her so they stopped.

    *note she was a virgin though because I broke it with my fingers...*

    Well yesterday she tells me on the phone that that guy messaged her on tagged. I was like "wtf is tagged" and she explained its like facebook.

    Anyway later that night she adds him to facebook for me to "see" and dude is totally hotter than me. I get super jealous/she doesn't see a problem with it. Then she messages him like "HEY!!!" and he replys with "Hey we haven't seen each other in forever we should meet up"....

    I don't know what the fuck to feel. I don't want my jealousy to kick in but dude I don't like that reply one bit. Makes me want to do alpha male shit to the guy.
     
  2. Hoss

    Hoss Nah, i had water yesterday

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2003
    Messages:
    18,947
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    M'boro, TN
    Jealousy is a bitch to deal with, ive had to battle it to for awhile

    I guess alot of it is having confidence in yourself, trust in her and the mentality that if she leaves ya she'll be leaving a good thing and you can find another girl to be with. :dunno:
     
  3. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2006
    Messages:
    7,506
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Vancouver, BC

    Good advice!

    She's assured me I have nothing to worry about. I feel threatened by him though. I do trust her, she hasn't ever really lied to my face. She did before the relationship though. She hasn't said "I love you" to me though. I just feel insecure with my position.
     
  4. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

    Joined:
    May 29, 2000
    Messages:
    49,189
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    What was her response to that though? That's the important thing. If she says "no thanks, I have a bf now" or "sure, a group of us and my bf can all go and hang out" then you don't have much to worry about. If her response was "sure, let's go hang out just the 2 of us" then you should worry.
     
  5. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2006
    Messages:
    7,506
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Vancouver, BC
    LOL well ya she doesn't get off work till late and I gotta be up by 5:30ish to get to work. So I'll either get up to talk to her tonight if she calls or read the reply in the morning.

    I am stuck in a rut.
     
  6. Hoss

    Hoss Nah, i had water yesterday

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2003
    Messages:
    18,947
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    M'boro, TN
    You shouldnt be threatened by anyone. Just work on your confidence in yourself, if you have it in yourself you wouldnt worry about anyone else
     
  7. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2006
    Messages:
    7,506
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Vancouver, BC

    Thanks bro, you're the subconcious I need lol.
     
  8. Hoss

    Hoss Nah, i had water yesterday

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2003
    Messages:
    18,947
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    M'boro, TN
    no problem man

    good luck to ya:bigthumb:
     
  9. Isaac

    Isaac New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2006
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hoss is right, it's all about being confident in you. It's not just that though. You have to be confident in you being alone. You have to not give a damn if things go wrong in this relationship. It's a bitch to try to find another girl and start over, but if it goes wrong, it can't be the end of the world for you. Confidence in yourself is what will carry you through. Don't get delusional, but be confident that she won't cheat on you because you're worth it.

    About the other guy: Who cares if he's hotter? If that was my biggest problem, I'd go work out until I had the guy beat. I already do that, so it's not a big problem for me. Looking good really helps your self confidence though, so consider that.

    Oh and listen to mack lessons radio. Find it on google.
     
  10. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2006
    Messages:
    7,506
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Vancouver, BC
    I guess it is the confidence that I lack. I've been told I'm good looking by lots of women lately and I don't believe them. I do work out everyday. I am just not as in shape as the guy in question. I have never had a lot of self confidence.

    I even dated a model in grade 10 and that shit ruined me I think. Before the relationship I didn't feel I was good enough for her, she aproached me and asked me out. I continued the relationship still not believing I was good enough for her. She than proceeded to cheat on me.

    Jealousy plays a part in there. She kissed another guy on her going away party than denied it when a mutual friend told me in confidence that she saw it.


    LOL her reply to him today was something to the effect of I'm not on MSN a lot, and when I'm on my computer I'm watching korean dramas.

    So I guess I feel safe with her reply. I thank everyone expecially Hoss who saw it more clearer.
     

Share This Page