SRS Why do I keep doing this to my self

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by di3soft, Mar 29, 2007.

  1. di3soft

    di3soft Guest

    Why is it when I find a kind, fun, caring girl that I really like. I always help them with their realtionship problems and help them get back with some one they miss. Even though deep down inside I really want to be with them and I know i would treat them right. I cant get these thoughts out of my head and it throws me into a deep depression, I already have been diagnosed with clinical depression and I got my self off anti-depressants. I'm really considering going back on them I really dont know if this would help or or make things worse but i really dont know how to fucken deal with this im really lost and just needed to get it off my chest. Why is it I can help other people with their lifes and problems but I cant help my self. everytime this happens I find it harder and harder to wake up in the morning and go through my day.

    sorry for the novel.

    cliffs: i suck at life
     
  2. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    Sometimes it's easier to deal with problems and issues that aren't affecting us directly. I'm the same way, I'll push my problems and stress on the back burner and help friends out with theirs. I don't really have an explanation for why. The only advice I can give is to make it a point to face your own problems and issues before everyone else's. That is, put yourself first. Easier said then done, I know..
     
  3. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    it's because you're not happy with yourself, and so you arent attracted to girls who are currently happy, you're attracted to those who are unhappy.

    Subconsciously, you feel that by helping them fix their lives, you'll fix your own.

    You need to stop trying to find a girlfriend and just work on being yourself and happy (ie: stop worrying about women and just do things that you want to do). Once you're happy, you'll find you arent attracted to sad people, you're attracted to happy people. Those happy people will also be attracted to you.

    Then your only worry will be whether theyre with someone already or not :)
     
  4. di3soft

    di3soft Guest

    that makes alot of sense but Im happy 90% of the time, but then i do this to again, i dont do this everyday, its hard for me to find a girl I actually care about and I enjoy spending time with. and every time I find one I fuck it all up

    I also think im isolating my self from rejection, if i dont try I dont fail, I dont get rejected, some times I really do feel like breking down in house and just hiding away for days
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 29, 2007
  5. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    You are becoming friends with the girl in order to hide your sexuality.

    You are afraid of exposing your sexual feelings to her.

    But you want to spend time with her, so you take the friends route.
     
  6. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    :dunno: speaking from my own experience, I often thought I was happy, when I wasn't really.

    Regardless, the answer's still the same. Dedicate your time to improving yourself. Do the things you want to do, join clubs you find interesting, etc. By making yourself more interesting, girls will become attracted to you, and your singleness problem will resolve itself
     
  7. di3soft

    di3soft Guest

    I still have all my hobbies that I love photography, cars, motorcycles. It helps alot during these times .
     
  8. lets_talk

    lets_talk New Member

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    I think what is happening here isn't necessarily your problem with not being able to get the girl for yourself. Its clearly deeper than that. You mentioned that you could be suffering from depression. Listen we all are suffering from depression in some soart of way, its just some cases are more severe. Not to say that yours is, but I am just trying to let you know that everyone has issues, and you'd be surprised how others deal with it. But I think you can do it, its really how you look at life. Find something that inspires you, maybe its helping others through their problems, who knows. Maybe its music, maybe its working out. Maybe its traveling. do whatever you have to clear your head and find yourself.
     
  9. di3soft

    di3soft Guest

    thanks, I go out alot and take photos, that gets me through alot of it, I often sit for hours/days in my garage working on my car, that by far I think is the best medicne for me. When im really depressed ive done things for no good reason like removing the engine from the car just to clean it, but it gets me through alot.

    Thanks for every ones insight I appreciate all the help


    and if you want to see a couple photos of her, check OT:AP they are there under my thread
     
  10. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    People who are so selfless tend to feel regret and depression. Look, it's okay to be somewhat selfish. Stop doing things for others all of the time, especially when it is at the expense of yourself. If you do this, you become that person that everyone uses.

    We all have brains, but humankind is still an animal and we still adhere to a lot of the primitive rules. It's nature. If you are a pushover then you will be pushed over. Learn to TAKE things for yourself. I am not telling you to become this jerk that's extremely selfish, but you do need to start doing things for yourself. Your needs should not always take a backseat to other people. When you do this, people like you,but they don't respect you. No matter what they say they don't respect you... not in the sense to where they see you as a strong person.

    Women are attracted to confidence and self value. You display these things when you start doing things for yourself. It's in our instincts. In a survival mode a man who is someone who can survive and support is one who is strengthening his position in life. That's attractive. A person who's constantly at the mercy of everything around him is not attractive. It's like a child. Children are at the mercy of the world. Women don't date children. They date husbands, men, adults.

    Take your life into your own hands. It's a much happier existance, trust me. You don't have to step on everyone to do this.
     
  11. di3soft

    di3soft Guest


    I am confident with almost all thing things I do in life, my magor weekness is seeing some one who is depressed or upset, and dont even get me started on if I see one of my friends crying, I will go to the end of the world to make them feel better, I guess my major down fall is I care way to much.

    Thanks for the input though
     
  12. Vixxen

    Vixxen New Member

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    So true!!
    But it is hard to start thinking of yourself first when you've thought of others first for so long.
     

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