This week, work has gotten to me. We had an all-staff meeting about this big special event we are doing for raising money for our agency (i work for an AIDS-service organization- i.e. prevention/education and HIV+support/housing/etc.). It's DIFFA Dining by Design www.diffa.net Anyways, all the people in development (fundraising) are totally into it and it's great, because it will bring us a lot of money! however, im a bit disheartened at the same time. We have over 500 volunteers and many will be helping to put this event together. Yet, with my prevention/education work, it's hard for me to get even 5 volunteers to help pass out condoms at the bars or pass out information to the bars/businesses to hang up. People in the community are excited, well the ones with the money to afford the $65 preview party or the $650 dinner main event. Worse yet, this is the first DIFFA event in which there will be themes about people living with HIV/AIDS. People who have gone to the event in other cities said one would have never known this was to raise money for HIV/AIDS awareness and support had they not been told. I'm just a bit upset. People are willing to give money and pat themselves on the back for doing so while they mingle with others lik ethemselves at these fancy events, yet when it comes to being an advocate for themselves and others, it's so much harder. Some businesses are willing to hand out money, but when it comes to helping with awareness in their own venues, it's too taboo or too much "of a downer." in other words, it's okay to be an advocate as long as they dont get their hands dirty! As long as they don't have to convince a kid who vows he'll never use condoms to use condoms (which i tried to do last week) and to tell another that HIV is not just about popping pills (which i also did last week). The AIDS service organization i work for started in the 80s as a way to provide support for people on their death-beds, just a way for them to die respectably. I feel like some people have forgotten what we are here for... And even with these special events, we don't even let some of our clients (HIV+ people receiveing support from us) go to some of these events. For example, we host a client social night once a month and in reality, it's bingo and some food, just an opportunity for them to get out of the house. Some have told the volunteer coordinator that many times they cant afford anything else and that this is their one night out for the month. So i'm just feeling like why couldnt we have them get guest tickets to one event a year or so because we have so many. Just so they can live respectably and also so many of the people who have the money and are giving have a face to go with the virus, and know their support is going a long way. I think many agree but some of our community members who cochair these events want to make these events their own private party. I dont know. These events just seem to be a way for the rich to pat themselves on the back. It makes me skeptical of so many things, like idol gives back... Am i just burnt out? Do i have any right to say this? Either way, i guess it's good for me to vent out this frustration and i have done so with my colleagues in my dept who ARE doing the DIRTY work! Nevertheless, i have to say that events like these do help out. But there is only so much money can do! :end rant: Maybe i'm just enjoying playing victim or looking for attention, but i dunno. I love my job, but sometimes the shit that goes with it gets to me!