SRS Why are people so averse to getting married?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by GlassUser, Jul 11, 2007.

  1. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Especially when they'll do it all except in name? I mean, they'll move in, share finances, have kids, attend family functions together, and ALL that, but they refuse to sign a largely irrelevant piece of paper. Having never been there, I will freely admit my ignorance - educate me
     
  2. SQLee

    SQLee The OTer That Cares™

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    Dude. Men get married, they lose. We lose half of everything we work for financially. And also, when a woman gets married, she has nothing to work for. She lets herself go, stops giving it up, and becomes a bitch. It's a free pass for women.
     
  3. SQLee

    SQLee The OTer That Cares™

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    I didn't realize I was in The Asylum, my bad, IAmTheBeast linked me. :o My response is the same, minus the sarcasm.
     
  4. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Damn. How did you get linked before I linked you?
     
  5. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    BTW this is the couples counseling I was talking about earlier.
     
  6. SQLee

    SQLee The OTer That Cares™

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    Stalkers? :hsughno:

    Homedude is cool and takes my "PUA" advice seriously. Even though I don't really qualify. :noes:
     
  7. I'm quick on the trigger. Post this in the Vag, it'll be nothing but hilarity.
     
  8. Kerberos

    Kerberos New Member

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    My guess is that people don't mind change if it's gradual. But they don't like big milestone changes.
     
  9. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    hot
     
  10. Then post this question in the Vag. :rofl:
     
  11. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    cause if you get divorced both sides get screwed
     
  12. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    :dunno: i want to get married.

    call me an optimist, but i believe in true love and sharing my life wholly with someone. my vision of marriage is one of give and take; i plan to work and earn as much money as possible until i decide to have kids, at which point my husband would probably be doing the financial work and i do the other kinds of work (raising the kids, keeping the house clean and organized, errands, etc). it might sound old fashioned but i like the idea of logically dividing up the tasks between husband and wife. it's how i was raised; my parents were PARTNERS. my mom would spend the day keeping busy around the house and taking us to/from school and activities and whatnot while my dad was at work, then he'd get home and either relax or maybe do some yard work (he likes doing that anyway) while my mom cooked dinner and then we'd all eat as a family :dunno: it worked out great.

    true, you could feasibly do all of this without the legal contract, but i think that just makes things easier as far as finances and stuff. how can you share your life with someone if you're not even gonna share bank accounts??
     
  13. SQLee

    SQLee The OTer That Cares™

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    You're an optimistic 21-year-old girl, of course you want to get married. And you've got every reason to. But men don't. And why share bank accounts when you won't be working, and you will be spending? Then when the divorce comes, because it will come, you'll take all his money. How does that sound fair?
     
  14. Arclight

    Arclight Hypercube

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    Doesn't the fact that they live together for a certain period of time qualify it as a common-law relationship?

    In that case wouldn't the man still lose his shit if they split?

    Sorry, my understanding of this subject is not the greatest. :o
     
  15. Arclight

    Arclight Hypercube

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    While she may be optimistic, you're definitely pessimistic.
     
  16. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    If men don't want to get married then what's the point of marrying in the first place? Can they not say no and move on with themselves? Not every man is the same. Some do want to settle down and have children and if you're not that kind then that's ok. There's no pressure on you and if your SO is expecting you to propose, you should of said it in the first place that you don't want to marry.

    Even in a marriage, both people in it need to go 100% and not just 50/50. There's not point in going 50/50 and having things assedly done. We live in a modern world--a modern society that has socially accepted women working and women who are striving to be better characters. If you marry a woman who does not work or doesn't know how to work and just loves to get pampered then that is no one's mistake but your own. I believe that in a marriage, both parterns should both work towards a common goal; whether that's helping each other get the house cleaned, or taking turns cooking dinner. Just because you're married doesn't change the fact that you still have to compromise.

    So what if two people get divorced? Sure, there are plenty of reasons to divorce but at the end, they should still be civil about it and really say who's is who's. And honesetly, if you're really worried about the woman taking half of your shit then make her sign a prenupt.
     
  17. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    Not all states have the common-law marriage. What common-law marriage does only is to be able to claim the other person on your taxes.
     
  18. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    i don't think you read my post correctly...

    there's more ways to split up the work in a marriage than financially. sure a woman might not be contributing money to the relationship, but there's a lot more than that, and lots of men seem to think that's fine, since the majority of people get married. if you're that worried about getting divorced and having the wife take all your money, then get a pre-nup :dunno: if it's someone who agrees with you, then she'll understand. i'm going to try to get a job that i can easily go back to in the event of my family needing more money or if i end up on my own again.

    may i ask what your parents marriage was like?
     
  19. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    In Texas, it's generally two years, but can be as short as 30 days, depending on obscure factors.

    And yes, if they was a common law marriage, community property laws apply.
     
  20. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Incorrect. That's actually one basis for determining a common law marriage (presenting yourself as married, especially on government documents).
     
  21. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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  22. Barky

    Barky woof

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    I want to get married. I'm a guy, my parents are very much in love, very playful with each other and what not.

    I've been dating my current girlfriend for two years and am very much considering marrying her. Might take some time (I'm in school right now) but I really want to do it.
     
  23. SQLee

    SQLee The OTer That Cares™

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    I'm realistic. The latest reports say that the divorce rate in America is now greater than half.
     
  24. SQLee

    SQLee The OTer That Cares™

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    No, I read it correctly. I realize there are many ways to split things up, and I totally agree with you, I'm just saying that the current trends show that men have diminshing reasons to get into a marriage.

    My mother left my father and I when I was 3, we came home one day and she was gone. My dad remarried a couple of years later and they're still married to this day. She's pretty much always worked, although he's always been the primary breadwinner. And they never had any kids together.
     
  25. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    Again, not all states have common law marriage.

    If a state doesn't have a common law marriage then you wouldn't be claiming the other person you're living with as a dependent, right?

    You just misread.
     

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