Why am I such a hypocrite?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Jarg0n, Jun 8, 2008.

  1. Jarg0n

    Jarg0n New Member

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    I'm guessing it's because I'm insecure?

    I've been seeing this girl for about 7 months or so (we're both 24). (She's a V, but we won't go into that).

    She's really laid back and takes a more care-free attitude about the relationship than I, but I've consulted a friend of hers and believe it's partially because she's an ice-queen who doesn't want to expose herself or get her heart broken. But anyway...

    I don't think she really knows a whole lot about serious relationships, although she claims to have had a few boyfriends. Anywho, sometimes she lets things slip from her past that she shouldn't, including making out with boyfriends, etc. She also told me that, in her home country when she was in her teens, she smoked pot almost every single day for two years with her bf because it's legal and easy to get. It's things like this that I just can't get past.

    Usually, I like to figure out my problems on my own or peruse the Vag, but I guess it's time that I made a thread about it. I think part of the reason I'm attracted to this girl is (besides the fact that she makes me laugh a lot and I really enjoy being around her) is that fact that she is a V. I've had serious gf's that weren't V's and their past wasn't that big of a deal...maybe because I knew I was in control of the relationship.

    I know this rambling must sound like I'm 16 or something, but I guess I just want to know what to do/think to not be such a hypocrit. I know that we dig each other and the attraction is pretty much mutual, but she lets it slip that she's almost had sex with another bf, yet I've done elusive sexual acts with other girls, yet I lose sleep over it. wtf?
     
  2. fray

    fray New Member

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    That's kind of ironic. I would think the fact that she's a virgin would make you care less when she talks about her other boyfriends, since it's not like she was out whoring around or anything. The fact that she hasn't done it with you yet... well, I assume she hasn't said she isn't going to. She just hasn't/doesn't want to yet? So ex doesn't really have anything up on you there...

    I'm not sure what upsets you about the pot smoking either. It's not a big deal to me, so perhaps I just don't understand. But especially in a country where it's legal, it should be a non-issue. That's like saying she ate too much ice cream with him or something.

    It probably is insecurity, or you're afraid you're more attached to her than she is to you and it's bugging you. I will tell you that I was much more insecure in the first year of dating my boyfriend (who I had already been friends with for 14 years before we dated, so I knew most of his past) and it has gotten much better since then. I think it's a mixture of trust when you're exposing a more vulnerable part of yourself, and insecurity. I could not bear to hear him talk about the ex even though I knew they didn't have a great relationship and was there through many of the fights and breakups.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Sounds like you are majorly insecure and are hunting for a Virgin because you think they are pure and either won't hurt you or they make you feel good about themselves. At least that's why most men seek them out. It's almost as if you got her thinking "good, I dont have to worry about any bf's tainting her" and the second you found out she's had more than one you flip out because it for some reason ruins her image to you. Well, grow up.

    No one is perfect.
     
  4. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    IMO you're wanting a perfect girl. Anyone short of perfection isn't worthy.

    That's an impossible standard. No one is perfect and we all have flaws.

    As you age, you may start to realize this....especially when you push away really cool women simply because they don't match this perfect standard. Do that a few times, get a bit lonely and you're likely to see the silliness of trying to find perfection.
     
  5. Reign

    Reign Banned

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    :rofl: when i saw "she's a V" i thought to myself... What the hell does her being a Virgo have shit to do with anything?

    Anyway, yeah, those three covered it pretty well.
     
  6. Jarg0n

    Jarg0n New Member

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    In all actuality, I think that I would prefer her not to be a V. At least then she'd know something about relationships.

    I just had a chat with her (btw, we're from two different cultures, which creates a mild language barrier) about her not reciprocating conversation, kissing, etc. I told her that without her reciprocating some of these things that I would have no idea if she enjoyed it at all. She didn't really seem to grasp the concept and just stated that she is the type of girl that just goes with the flow. I guess I'm just not really down with that. I don't really know how to convey to her that if she simply does this, the flow will only lead one place: failure. We're both stuck in a sort of 5th dimension (we're both in the Middle East in a foreign country working), so I about half expect her to think that it will eventually fail anyway.
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I wouldn't put too much pressure on yourself because it sounds like this relationship is meant to be a fling.

    Being from different cultures and having vastly different views can really make it apparent two people aren't right for one another.

    If you aren't really happy still within 7 months I don't see the point other than company :dunno:
     
  8. fray

    fray New Member

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    .

    gonna have to agree with this. It sounds like not only are you not feeling like she is into you, but she is unwilling to take any steps to help you feel better. Are you sure this is a healthy relationship for you, or are you just in it for some companionship while you are there anyway?
     
  9. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    :rofl: just say the word 'virgin'... it's not that big of a deal...
     
  10. CHOWBOX

    CHOWBOX OT Supporter

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    :werd:
     
  11. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    :werd: I was thinking the same things after reading this!
     
  12. Aronomy

    Aronomy Get your COME ON!

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    I highly doubt she's a virgin, lol. Smoking weed everyday for two years with a boyfriend? yeahhh..
     
  13. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    I'm not sure where you see yourself being a hypocrite? Is it because you've had sex and she hasn't? If you can't get over the fact she almost had sex with someone then you definitely have some extreme insecurities. What does her smoking pot 8 years ago have to do with her current relationship? A girl I was sorta talking to did acid/ecstacy/smoked pot in high school but she's moved far beyond that now. She's secured a decent paying job and has all her priorities in line. You should be able to see beyond someone's past if it has no influence on the way they live today.
     

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