SRS Why am I so anal about my stuff?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by JakobwithaK, Aug 30, 2006.

  1. JakobwithaK

    JakobwithaK Titty fuck for the win!

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    I am seriously an asshole.:wtc:

    I am so anal about stuff the stuff I own and the condition that its in, that if its not in perfect condition and/or has a single mark on it, even if so so minor its always on my mind and bothers me. For instance, I recently had to send in my car two times to get new hinges done on my door and cover some scratches. The first time they did it well, but the fuckin mechanic never bothered checking everything before calling me to pick it up, so I was surprised with another problem (that wasnt there before). So I had no choice but to bring it in again. I was quite pissed to say the least. :wtc:

    I just got my baby back for the second time this morning and I was literally worried to death last night, on what I would be getting back. Well the door seems fine now, but now Im so literally obsessed with it acting up again because its happened before. Now, its always on my mind. And they were able to fix most of the scratches, a few minor ones they werent able to completely buff out 100%, but you can only tell if you look super super closely in bright light, and most people wouldnt even notice or care about them. THats how minor they are, but to me even the slighest mark, the size of a spec of dust would bother me endlessly.

    Since Im so anal about my high prized posessions, I always expect my stuff to be in 100% tip top perfect shape. Like everytime I have someone in my car, Im always worried they will bang up my door when they get out. Or if other cars park too closely, always worried someone will ram their door into mine. I dont know what it is, its almost like I cant seem to live with a product that isnt perfect. It makes me sad, mad, dissapointed, depressed when my expensive toys are not in 100% shape/working order. Would you consider this materialistic? I do, very much so! :wtc:

    And this is not just the condition Im talking about. Like I said, the door with my car, even though its been fixed. It will still always be on my mind "will it happen again" worried :wtc: And knowing that its been fixed on, makes it feel degraded and not new like before.

    I have my 84yr old grandpa in the hospital, as he has liver cancer. His kids are worried to death about him. My mother has been visiting him in the hospital every single day after work for the past 2 weeks because she is so worried on his condition. She sacrifices sleep, food, sits hours on end in the waiting room (on a work night) just to go see her father. That is something that people should worry about, not my pathetic materialistic problems.

    That just goes to show just how messed up I am right now. When I cant even go a single day or hour without it on my mind. Something so unessecary and foolish. :wtc:
     
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2006
  2. pigeon

    pigeon wasabi

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    have you talked with someone about this? like a GP or a psychologist? It might be something you could get help for. talk to your doctor. seriously. because it sounds like it's really impacting your day to day living.
     
  3. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    I don't think you're an asshole. I think perhaps you still may be young...and with that comes a bit of selfishness and materialism. You say so yourself. I was there too.

    I think with age, you're going to get different perspectives on life. I think as you get older, you're going to look back even 5 years from now and think "WTF does the ding on my car door matter? What have I been doing with my life?"

    You're going to start seeing friends cope with marriage problems, family illnesses, handling their new kids, etc. So that's the point where your focus will start changing.

    I don't think you need to see a shrink. You already know your problem. I don't think you can just suddenly have people take a hammer to your possessions and not care about it (I still care about all my things), but start looking out for things that matter more. (e.g., spending time with your grandfather/family before he passes)
     
  4. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    In a way I also fear things happening to my possesions, which actually led to me restraining on getting new unneccesary toys. I'm kind of the opposite of you though, sometimes I'd rather not have things in 100% shape, so in case it was damaged again it wouldn't matter. I don't think your case makes you materalistic. It's okay to take care of your things, that's would everyone should do. It's taught to kids when they're young to care for their stuff.

    You kind of do take it to a further extent than most people though. You might want to check out the movie Fight Club if you haven't, I've heard of a lot of people who had an enlightening about the unimportance of material possesions after watching.
     
  5. JakobwithaK

    JakobwithaK Titty fuck for the win!

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    Yes ive been to a few DRs. But it seems they all end up giving up on me and dont want to help me long ter mwise. :wtc:
     
  6. JakobwithaK

    JakobwithaK Titty fuck for the win!

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    Well I personally think Im being an asshole about it, because really what Im bitching about and stressing myself over is really nothing. I mean its all totally avoidable and Im the one whos just inflincting all this upon myself. I have to realize that no matter how much you spend on something - whether its a house, car, big screen TV, whatever that nothing will be perfect and that as long as it works that is all that matters.

    No matter how well you take care of it, no matter how long youve had it everything will end up getting some wear n tear over time. When I first got my car (years back), I babied it so much (still do now, but not to the extent to before), I would polish and clean it every single day. I would even vacuum the inside and always make sure the mats were nice and neat, dashboard cleaned, no bugs on it, etc.

    I mean I tell my family about this and they think Im stressing out over nothing - which is true. They also think its silly because there are so many more important things in life to worry about, than whether or not your car is in perfect prestine shape like when you first bought it. Which again is true, and this is how I must start thinking. You know why Im focusing bit too much on minor stuff like this? Because Im too materialistic. And I agree that once i get older, have a family, get married, stuff like this will be so far into my past I will be laughing at myself as to why I would even let such a minor thing bother me.

    And right now, I know what I need to focus on and that is spending time with mother making sure everything is ok since its a very tough time for all the kids, having their father with liver cancer. But its almost like a disease, once something that you are literally so worried/obsessed about is on your mind, it sticks to it like glue.
     
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2006
  7. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I used to obsess about my car because I couldn't afford to fix it. I bought something that was way, way beyond my means and I got upset at the slightest imperfection....it was more because I know I'd have to pay to fix it and I really couldn't afford to. When I started earning more money and paid off other debts, it was not much of an issue. Sure I don't want door dings but I don't obsess about them like I used to.

    I dunno if that applies to you...if it does, perhaps you should sell it and get something more affordable....something where you aren't overly concerned about the condition.

    Don't get me wrong...I like nice things also. I just realize that because they have a little life doesn't mean they are worthless. It means they have character.
     
  8. pigeon

    pigeon wasabi

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    what do you mean? explain "giving up on me"

    do you think you need the help? if you do, find it. keep looking until you find someone who will help you.
     
  9. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Actually you should be in a car accident with your family in such a way that your car gets totally wrecked but you all come out safely, so that you finally recognize what is really important in life. You see , your car can be replaced but you can't replace your family.
     
  10. ledzep73

    ledzep73 New Member

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    Being anal about something you worked hard for isn't that bad, and I would be pretty annoyed if I babied my car as much as you do, and someone else fucked it up. I always keep my car clean, not perfect, but cleaner than most. One of my friends dropped his cig on my leather seat, so now I keep a CD case there just so I won't have to look at it. Shit like that drives me crazy too, just not as bad. I wouldn't think much of it, some people are vain like that, and it isn't all that horrible.
     
  11. johan

    johan Active Member

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    So none of these docs tried anafranil or luvox? Were they GP's or specialists?
     
  12. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Dude... I totally understand where you're comming from with the car thing -- as a Professional Detailer by trade (currently anyway) I always obsess over my truck since it's basically the biggest representation of my attention to detail and quality of work for customers to view. However, I also am realistic to the fact that it's a daily driver, and I park it at a college campus. So inevitably, it's going to get its fair share of dings and scratches. That's exactly why I keep my polisher, touch-up paint, body shop phone number, and paintless dent removal guy's number all handy. If something gets messed up bad enough that I need to worry about it, I've got it covered.
     
  13. JakobwithaK

    JakobwithaK Titty fuck for the win!

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    Ya selling it has crossed my mind a few times forsure. But i would lose too much money and my parents would be quite pissed. I have to learn to overcome babying my stuff and being an paranoid. I do know that over time, you will become less worried about your stuff. I know this for a fact, the tough thing is deciding when, and I want that when to be right NOW.
     
  14. JakobwithaK

    JakobwithaK Titty fuck for the win!

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    Well, few just werent for me. THey couldnt see my problem and/or didnt like them.

    The others just helped me for short time and then cut everything off. :ugh: Even one counsellor back when I was in college totally got stressed out over my problems and just said she didnt want me to see her anymore :wtc:
     
  15. JakobwithaK

    JakobwithaK Titty fuck for the win!

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    I know what you mean and I dont care what it takes, I have some growing up to do.
     
  16. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    WTF??? Your parents would be pissed because you sold something you couldn't afford and as a result were less stressed and less obsessed with your car??? uh....ok :ugh:
     
  17. JakobwithaK

    JakobwithaK Titty fuck for the win!

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    To a normal extent, no its not bad at all. But when it becomes an obsession, and eats away your mind and effects the way you think then ....:wtc:
     
  18. JakobwithaK

    JakobwithaK Titty fuck for the win!

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    Well its not the matter of not being able to afford it, in fact its already all paid off. THey just rather see me overcome my personal problems.

    And really I have done this in the past, not with my car but other things. WHen I say that im overly paranoid about stuff I buy, its not just my car. Its just about every electronic toy I buy. So its very much so and on going problem. One that ive had for many years now.
     
  19. JakobwithaK

    JakobwithaK Titty fuck for the win!

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    Oh gee, Ive seen counsellors, social workers, physchologists, phyciatrists. :wtc:

    I had one good one, but he ended up moving to another city for work :wtc:
     
  20. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Yet somehow as you age you will magically just stop being so anal? I doubt it. I have made significant changes in my lifetime and none of them just sorta happened. They all took a lot of work and a lot of time.

    I don't know anything about OCD but you sound like someone that suffers from it. IMO, to make the kind of personality changes you are talking about, you'll need help. You should find professional help....a psycharist. Good luck
     
  21. JakobwithaK

    JakobwithaK Titty fuck for the win!

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    Ya I just havent found someone willing to help me :(
     
  22. pigeon

    pigeon wasabi

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    keep looking - finding the right therapist can be difficult, but if this is affecting your life to this degree, it might be worth it to keep looking until you find one.
     
  23. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    :werd:

    Don't stop looking till you find the help you need.
     
  24. JakobwithaK

    JakobwithaK Titty fuck for the win!

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    i am trying but its discouraging, knowing ive already wasted enough time in the past with no good DRs...plus 6 weeks just to get in :( nobody loves me :(
     
  25. pigeon

    pigeon wasabi

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    you're not wasting time if you are looking for help, even if you don't find someone right away. each step to find someone is a step in the right direction. and 6 weeks to get an initial appointment is normal for any therapist. even to get an appointment with a gov't paid therapist here in the states takes 6-8 weeks minimum. keep trying.
     

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