Why am I afraid of alcohol?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by SuperSleeper, Feb 9, 2005.

  1. SuperSleeper

    SuperSleeper New Member

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    I don't understand, and hope I'm not alone.

    I am simply EXTREMELY uncomfortable with alchohol. But it reaches it's peak when it involves my girlfriend drinking. In fact, when my friends drink, I don't really care. But I don't want to drink and I am really afraid of the thought of my girlfriend drinking.

    She turns 21 on Saturday, and I am really nervous about it. I don't even know why. She's going to go drink with her friends, and I don't want to have a problem with it, but I do. Why can't I just get over it?! I feel horrible about being a burden on her shoulders, and it's affecting our relationship. I want to go get help, but I don't even know where to start. So I'm starting here. Please only positive comments.. as I said, I don't WANT to have a problem with it, but I do.
     
  2. bobbarker70

    bobbarker70 New Member

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    dude, im petrified of my gf drinking around other guys. its normal, to an extent
     
  3. 2LD

    2LD New Member

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    Tough situation dood. Personally tell those girls to take care of her and let her go. she'll can you for sure if you keep giving her a hard time about it. As uneasy as it might seem, you should probably go with her
     
  4. SuperSleeper

    SuperSleeper New Member

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    Well part of the problem... I AM going with. Her friends are planning the party, and I'm trying to be civil and a good sport about it when they ask for my help. But deep down, my stomache is wrenching.

    My gf and I had a pact that we'd both get drunk together for our first times. I guess since she's turning 21, she thinks that promise can be thrown out the window. But that really upsets me. So that's part of it too.

    As for her "canning" me; won't happen. We've been together 5+ years, and are very close. This is the only problem we ever have--hence why I want to cure it.
     
  5. Muricane

    Muricane Active Member

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    There's nothing really to be worried about; if she's going to cheat on you it doesn't matter if she's sober or drunk. If she's loyal, she will be no matter what. Telling her you don't want her to drink will make her want to drink more. :dunno:

    There is literally nothing you can do about it; if shit happens, you deal with it then -- don't try to cross the proverbial bridge before you reach it.
     
  6. Gonrad

    Gonrad OT Supporter

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    One sip of any alcohol and a girl will get all Girls Gone Wild.

    At least the girls that don't drink occasionally.

    I had a problem with drinking but that's only because my primarly influence was my alcoholic father. I didn't want to be like him when I drank.

    But I drink in moderation. Keep it consistent, don't give into pressure, and there's nothing wrong.

    Once you start drinking alone, you know something is wrong. And by alone I don't mean just a beer or two.
     
  7. Socrates

    Socrates Guest

    All the cool kids are doing it. You don't want to be an L7 square.....do you..?
     
  8. jbuckle

    jbuckle New Member

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    I'm the same way. I'm very uncomfortable when it comes to my boyfriend drinking. With me it goes back to problems with my mom and an ex of mine. I try my best not to "punish" him for things they did though. You just have to be cool and trust her. I think you would much rather her do it infront of you then when you aren't there...and if are too pushy about it that is exactly what she'll do. So be open with her, let her know how you feel, but respect her choices as long as she doesn't do anything stupid.
     
  9. IgnitionGSR

    IgnitionGSR OT Abuser

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    this is not ment to make you feel worst, but my ex cheated on me while being drunk. The fucker got her drunk and fucked her. We were going out for 2 years too... so I guess it depends on the person. Shes got a weak personality so that might have had something to do with it.
     
  10. low20

    low20 Member

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    im with u on this one...i get so paranoid when my girl drinks...shes a very outgoing person, not afraid of what people will think, so im scared of what she will do...im just afraid she will kiss another guy and that would be the end of us...i trust her, but i dont trust alcohol or her drunk i guess...
     
  11. SuperSleeper

    SuperSleeper New Member

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    Exactly. It's not that I don't trust my girlfriend--I just don't trust alcohol. I don't think I have any bad history with it or anything... it's just I grew a distaste for it.

    Thanks for the comments guys; it does help.

    As for my girlfriend, she's not extremely outgoing, but she wants to be. I'm afraid that she's going to abuse alcohol because of that, which is probably part of my paranoia. We're going to talk more about it tonight. Hopefully we can come to a mutual understanding. My only concern is that she really enjoys it and becomes reliant on it like a few of her close friends seem to be.
     
  12. IgnitionGSR

    IgnitionGSR OT Abuser

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    just make sure you set a limit to her drinking... She could get really sick if its her first time and her body is not used to alcohol. Especially if shes light weight...

    Also make sure she has a full stomach before she drinks.. and drinks slowly while munching on something....
     
  13. weakone

    weakone New Member

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    I've always been paranoid about my boyfriend drinking. He also turns 21 on Saturday.. But luckily, he doesn't drink anymore.. Not like he used to.

    He used to go to parties 40 minutes away and get drunk with his boys and girls he used to hook up with, while I would be home. To this day, I'll never know what happened at any of those parties. Also, before he stopped smoking and drinking, his best friend, while they were drinking, tried to convince him to drive to a strip club so they could go there and hang out. I didn't find that out until the next time I went to his friend's house with him.. Then I found out he drove home "just about" drunk. Granted, he did the right thing by me by not going to the club, because that isn't something he would want me to do either, but not driving home in that state.

    You just have to trust her, and try to be around her while she does that, hard as it may be. The tables have kind of turned for us.. Because I'm going to college in September, and he's worried about me drinking. I don't think that's so much a problem, though, because I'm going to commute the hour+ to and from school. Even still, if it does happen, I want him there. I know people can get stupid when they're drunk and if it means losing him because I'm partying or sacrificing partying rather than our 2+ year relationship, I'll sacrifice the partying.
     
  14. merlinski

    merlinski and I'm his friend, Jesus

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    The bottom line is this - if she wants to try it, she will eventually. If there's something that your curious about, it just gets harder to avoid if you feel like there's something holding you back. You should be thankful that you can be there if she drinks for the first time, to make sure that she doesn't get sick and is safe. And you can't be afraid to take drinks away from her if you think she's had too much, even if she gets pissed at you, because she'll thank you in the morning. And yes, if this is her first time she'll probably act all crazy. Not necessarily because she has a low tolerance, but people that look forward to drinking for the first time tend to act incredibly drunk even if they've only had a few sips. It's not because of the alcohol, its because they think they're supposed to act that way and they tend to emulate it. So if she's going to drink, the best thing you can do is first tell her how you feel, and if she still decides to do it then you have to be there for her. As long as she feels comfortable drinking around you, you can make sure that you're there whenever she does it in the future (and hopefully you can make sure she doesn't do it often).
     
  15. SuperSleeper

    SuperSleeper New Member

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    This is an excellent point, and something I hadn't really considered. I suppose I should try my hardest to tolerate it while I'm there so she's not tempted to drink more often without me in the future. Thanks. :)
     
  16. uf20wop

    uf20wop OT Supporter

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    she'll eventually break up with you for it.

    i've seen it before :hs:
     
  17. diaper eater

    diaper eater OT Supporter

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    man look at it this way, if youre gonna be there with her its better, she will get drunk and horny and be all over you. i was nervous bout this stuff with my gf when we drank for the first time together, but all her attention was towards me, it was beautiful
     
  18. russd10089

    russd10089 New Member

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    Well, you said you'd get drunk together the first time. So i say, go ahead and drink with her on her b'day. Many of the posters here have good points. Drink with her, and she'll be horny, willing to try anything, and you'll be less likely to think about it.
    I also agree that, if someone is loyal to someone else, they won't screw around no matter what.

    I'm an alcoholic, so i know the troubles of a relationship with alcoholism in it. Just trust her, or be there with/for her. Being an alcoholic has shown me, that my morals still stand, yet, i find ugly girls attractive at times.
     
  19. Killa B

    Killa B Abuse This!

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    Go With Her for sure, so then you both can discover the wonderful world of Alcohol :beer: I think you guys would have a good time
     
  20. timberwolf

    timberwolf New Member

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    I bartend on weekends. And from what I see... most women and alcohol don't mix well.
    You should be concerned if your gf insists on getting drunk. Like some have suggested why not be there? You should question why she would want to get drunk if its specifcally without you there. The drinking would then simply be an excuse.
    Its like night and day, how women change when they've had more than a few. On the other hand, most man don't need alcohol to behave that badly.
     
  21. Smoked

    Smoked $5.50? Man fuck the avatar...how about you just sh

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    I'm generalising here,
    But most women have an inverse relationship when it comes to drinking and inhibition.
    The more they drink, the less inhibited they are.
    That means it's either a lot of fun, or fucking insanity.
    Your fears are justified to an extent.
    But you will never be able to really control this aspect of friends or significant others.

    If you trust her, your just going to have to trust her.
    If her tits show up on the internet the next day, you need to have a "talk".
    If you don't trust her, why are you with her?
     
  22. millero

    millero Aluminum Member

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    ...and always try whatever they are drinking. who knows, you may like it.
     
  23. eof

    eof New Member

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    The truth...

    She will dump you for some dude like me that will let her get blasted whenever she feels like it. I will take her anal virginity too... :fawk:
     
  24. SuperSleeper

    SuperSleeper New Member

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    diaper eater--A few of her girlfriends will be there too, all sober. It's going to be drinking at Applebee's, so I wouldn't be able to drink anyway. Still 20.

    timberwolf--Just as soon as I'm getting comfortable with the idea, you must throw this in the mix. Thanks. :p (really, I appreciate your opinion)

    420--That's what I'm thinking. It's gonna be fucking insane if she gets drunk. She gets really weird with her friends sober... I can't imagine... But I do trust her.

    eof--I'm not too concerned about that. As I said, I trust her. And she gets treated like a queen.. it'd only be a matter of time before she'd come crawling back anyway. :wiggle:


    An update on the situation: We talked about it a little last night, and things went well. She finally took the time to understand where I'm coming from. (the time we talked before that, she was tired and crabby, so it got a little heated) She says she doesn't want to get drunk, she just wants to exercise her new freedom by having a couple drinks. Nothing major. Crashing at a girl friend's apartment afterwards.
    She'll probably act all wacky... but I'll be with her. And as I mentioned, it's gonna be just 5 girls and me. What's the worst that could happen? :cool:

    I finally feel comfortable with it, and once we've gotten through her first time, I think it'll be easier for me to deal with from there on. (assuming she doesn't start humping everything in sight) :ugh:

    Thanks everyone for the input--it has truly helped a lot.
     
  25. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Um. She can buy you a drink then, can't she. What is the big deal here? The only reason you are scared of alcohol is because you know nothing about it. Go get drunk a few times - I mean ... hm. Do you go to college? I don't understand how you haven't gotten drunk yet.
     

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