SRS Who's right here????

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Guz200sx, Mar 12, 2007.

  1. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    I am so pissed at my mom right now....

    first of all, this is how freakin retarded my dad is....i should of known better than to sit and watch a movie with them

    I go over to their house cause we were goin out to eat but they weren't home so i sit and wait. "Road Trip" is on so i start watching it. 10mins into it they come home. after a bit, my dad sits down and starts complaining about why does one guy have to tell the other guys that he bang some girl??? i'm like its only a movie, who cares and besides guys are like that.

    anway, i was all :ugh: after that....15mins later, he asks me if he told me the latest about what happened with his brothers in NYC. i said no and he starts tellin me that his one brother found the other brother whacking off in the bedroom! i was like WTF man! Why's he gotta tell me that shit for?!?! god damn...:ugh: :ugh: :ugh:

    anyway i was all pissy now
    i had been eating some cereal and i went to wash my bowl and then i started thinking about something my mom had told me the other day. Basically she told me that she wanted to help me with me bills and that she was goin to ask my dad if they could so she did but my dad said he would only help if i moved back home and changed my attitude towards them.

    they basically feel that i am wasting my money by renting an apartment. But up until 12+yrs ago, they were doing the same thing.
    They want me back home and by telling me that they will pay off my loans they are enticing me and also they are tellin me i will be able to get a newer car too.

    But anyway after washing my dishes I told my mom i was goin to leave cause I wasn't feeling happy right now and she said why so i told her that they are selfish for wanting me back home. I told her if they really wanted to help me then why did i have to move back home? Why can't I be on my own? I told her I want to be independant.
    I told her isn't it the natural way of life...as the child gets older he gains independance for himself, he starts to move on with his life as he gets older, he moves out, gets married, has children, all of that stuff and when i told her this it just pissed her off and then she started going off and she told me I don't have anything to offer a woman, that i don't even have $5,000 in the bank, that all i have is the apartment and that i can't even bring a woman their to live cause they don't allow it and that i am wasting my money by payin for something that isn't mine.

    She just basically went off on me telling me all kinds of shit and just makin me feel like complete crap.

    Eventually i got fed up after she started saying if i didn't want to go eat with them i didn't have to and she wouldn't care. She has it in her head that i am addicted to the internet. i don't believe i am. i use the internet as an outlet for my frustations, it takes me away and i forget about my worries when i am online. anyway after she started spewing crap, i just got fed up and left. didn't even look back. just walked right out. i'm so tired of their bullshit....its fuckin crazy. its like since i moved out, they've had a problem with me and the whole moving...they've admitted it too

    I know I made financial mistakes in my life that I am now paying for them. But damn, she throws that shit in my face every fucking chance she gets. I am always remembering what i did to myself. i don't need her fuckin reminding me all the damn time.

    Ok, so They offered their help. Ok thanks but Why do I have to go and play by their rules? If they help, financially, that would give me a lot of breathing room, cash wise. I would slowly pay them back and I wouldn't have to worry about being broke all the time.

    As it is now, I have to get a part time job to help me out and pay back some money i borrowed from them and also to help me and give me cash for myself. I haven't been saving at all since I moved out. Its been hard to save anything at all. everything has been really tight.
     
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2007
  2. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    another thing about moving back home is that i wouldn't be able to have girls come over.

    they say i can but thats fuckin weird as hell to have a girl come over to the house while they are their. Like they would be upstairs while I am makin out with the girl or something else. wtf, they are so fuckin hillbilly, its ridiculous.
    i did that once with my ex....i brought her over to watch a movie and we started makin out and they were upstairs and the whole time i was like one eye open watchin out.

    they don't get that tho....

    and something else is....their basement is small as hell. it doesn't have its own entrance or exit...it has a sliding door which they are all nutty about having it locked and stuff so i would definately not feel comfortable usin that at all.

    I am very right about girls feeling weird about hanging out with a guy in the parents house. Some girl i was talkin to got all weirded out cause she thought i was going to move back home but i had to explain to her that it was just me "thinking" about it. And even if I wanted too move back, I don't know If i could that.

    Not only the constant nagging, bickering with me and among themselves but their meddling into my business would drive me nuts. i think I would move with my friend before i went back their.




    funny thing is, since i moved out....i haven't had one girl over to my place yet :-( how lame is that?

    btw i am 29...soon to be 30
     
  3. Crush

    Crush Epidural hematoma up in this bitch

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    You are 100% right about what people do when they grow up. They move out and start their own lives. I will say that your parents requests are seemingly understandable since they will be helping to pay off your debts. However, I do see how it might be seen as "ransom money", which is not desirable under most circumstances.

    Hopefully your parents come to this realization soon and decide to help you out however they can while respecting your independence and interests.
     
  4. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    I'm in a somewhat simular situation. Although my parents live on the east coast and I am currently on the west coast. My sister had a baby and now she is finacially in the mud and my parents were helping me out here for school but now I'm quitting (bad I know but I hate my school and it's all bullshit anyway). So now my mom wants me back (I created a nice debt out here T__T) but I want to get a job at EA or whatever I can get to support my self and start paying shit back. I love my parents to death and really have been blessed with two very kind souls who have raised me. They just don't understand how weird it is to have to live at home. I was there for 22 years and even then I was starting to get really frustrated with it. I could have had women over but they wouldn't have liked it. I have a girlfriend too out here and I love her to death. My mom doesn't seem to understand how I can't just pack up and leave. Granted if I never met my girlfriend I probably would have moved back months ago, but the thing is I have a reason in my life now. More power to you brotha.
     
  5. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Wait...you are 29 and in financial difficulties and may have to get a part time job to pay them back??? WTF?? Why aren't you working full time??
     
  6. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    Becuase it's their money. If you take it you have to abide by their rules. If you don't take it then you don't have to.


    But I LOLed at this ...
    On the one hand you're saying it's the natural way to move out and get your own place and be on your own, but on the other hand you want them to continue to support you becuase you can't do it on your own.

    Wait, that bears repeating...

    1) you can't support yourself, and
    2) you want them to support you, but
    3) you don't want them to have any say

    .........and YOU are calling THEM selfish? :ugh2:

    Take your pick dude...you're an adult who can live on your own and make it and you're NOT GOING TO TAKE ANY HELP or you can't make it on your own and you need help so your'e going to move back home.

    Which? You can't have both.
     
  7. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    You are right in that you need to leave and develop independence to grow up.

    However, they're well within their rights to attach any conditions they want to giving you money. If those conditions are unacceptable for you, then you're well within your rights to refuse, but dont expect the cash.

    Part of independence is paying your own way. You have no right to expect any sort of financial aid from them.

    As for their throwing stuff back in your face, they're human, they arent perfect. Odds are, everything they do and say is borne out of concern for you. Basically, your past history has made them unable to trust you to take care of yourself in the future, and they fear that if they just gave you money, you might waste it.

    As for internet addiction, the way you describe it, you very well could be addicted to the internet. What you described is exactly the way every addict views their addiction. You need to learn how to deal with life's problems without resorting to an escape. (That said, escapes are necessary from time to time.)

    Take a close, honest look at your life, and discard your prejudices against your parents and try to see if some of their complaints might have valid reasoning.
     
  8. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    I totally missed the 29 aspect.

    No wonder your parents are freaking out on you. You should have learned how to manage your life and be an adult long ago.

    That said, better late than never, you have to learn sometime.

    Are you still a student for some reason? Why arent your working? What kind of expenses are you paying, and where does your money go?
     
  9. kingtoad

    kingtoad OT Supporter

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    Your parents just want to see you get on your feet.
     
  10. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    So I'm confused. You want to be independent, yet still be dependent on your parents for money?

    You can't be both. You can either accept their help, and the terms that go with it (limits on what you can do, and expectations that you help out and do things for them in return), or you can decline their help, and live on your own.

    You're 29. You should know that they aren't just going to give you money without any conditions or expectations.

    What do you want us to tell you? That we know of some magic way for you to somehow live with your parents and take their money, but not have to do anything else in return?

    I'm sorry, but that's not going to happen. We don't advise people on how to be bums.

    Oh, and regarding the having girls at their house and them not liking it....they have every right to. It's THEIR house. Not yours, THEIRS. If they don't want you doing stuff in their house, they are completely justified in thinking that.
     
  11. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    I guess these weren't the answers OP was hoping for :hsugh:
     
  12. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    lol thread backfire is a bitch.
     
  13. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    I do!!
    :ugh:

    I work full time basically 8-5....its good but with my bills sometimes not enough
     
  14. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    Did you see the name of the thread?? I asked "who is right"
     
  15. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    how is it thread backfire??:ugh:

    i'm just lookin for opinions and shit
     
  16. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    Not a student. I work full time. I have two loans I pay. one is 300+ and another is about 120. Plus the other expenses with living in an apartment. I don't spend money on anything else now. 'cept for gas and sometimes food. I also have two pets that require care.
     
  17. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Ok...this is good to hear. So what's so wrong with picking up another part time job so you don't have to rely on your parents?
     
  18. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    Give us a breakdown of your income and expenses, be specific about where everything goes.

    Also give us an idea of where you work, whats required for your work, where your work is relative to yourself, etc
     
  19. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Well your first post sounded like you were taking on the victim role and wanted everyone to side with you and say....awww...:hug: it'll be ok.
     
  20. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    OK....CAN I JUST STATE FIRST OF ALL....IT WAS NEVER MY INTENTION TO TAKE THEIR MONEY!!! I NEVER ASKED FOR THEIR MONEY. I NEVER NEEDED THEIR MONEY. THEY OFFERED AND SO I CAME HERE ASKING FOR ADVICE. MY MOTHER IS THE ONE THAT CONFORTED ME ON THE FACT THAT SHE WANTED TO HELP ME. SINCE SHE IS OFFERING, I CONSIDERED IT BUT NEVER DID I ASK FOR IT.

    AND I BORROWED MONEY FOR THEM BECAUSE

    1) I SLIDE ON ICE WITH MY CAR A WHILE BACK AND BUSTED UP THE WHEEL. INSURANCE PAID FOR THE DAMAGE BUT I HAD TO PAY THE DEDUCTIBLE.


    2) THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER, THE DAMN CAR WOULDN'T START. TURNS OUT THE STARTER FUCKED UP. AND THAT COST ME A CRAP LOAD OF MONEY. I PAID FOR IT BUT MY MOM HELPED ME OUT WITH IT IN THE END. BUT I NEVER ASKED FOR HER HELP. SHE GAVE IT. BIG DIFFERENCE. AND I DO REALIZE I TOOK IT...RELUNCTLY I TOOK IT...BUT AT LEAST I PROMISED TO PAY IT BACK


    So, dude, Are you saying I AM SELFISH?? Because since they offered the help and I want to still stay on my own, that makes me selfish then? whatever man



    I agree with what you said in the BOLD part. That is how they feel i believe. But i have learned my lesson. I don't want to be throwing my money away on stupid shit. I realize now that havin cash in the bank is very important. I realize I have to become stingy with my money and i am becoming like that.

    As for the internet addiction, I prolly do spend a lot of time on the computer but I'll try to work on it.


    Yea....AGAIN I DO NOT WANT TO BRING GIRLS TO THEIR PLACE. THEY WERE THE ONES WHO SUGGESTED THAT! THEY ACTUALLY TOLD ME IF I WANT TO I COULD BRING A GIRL AND GO DOWNSTAIRS AND DO MY BUSINESS....I MEAN C'MON :wtf: LOL...I CAN'T DO THAT. TALK ABOUT WEIRD BUT ALSO DISRESPECTFUL EVEN WITH THEIR CONSENT. NO WAY MAN...I DID IT ONCE AND IT WAS WEIRD AS FUCK. BESIDES GIRLS DON'T LIKE THAT SHIT.

    I BASICALLY ALREADY DECIDED WHAT TO DO.....TRY AND GET A PART TIME THING something on the weekends maybe a couple of weeknights too...basically just something to help me out with the monies i owe them and maybe for some cash to save. I alreayd went on one interview today. And i think they may hire me....seems like they need people so we'll see. I got some good info on the manager guy and we got some things in common so i could prolly get in smooth if i work it right.
     
  21. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    I'm not relying on them...when i lived at home i never relyed on them either. I paid for all of my stuff even school and thats why i'm in debt now also too cause i made bad choices with some stupid loans.
     
  22. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    good to hear it

    try to keep in mind though that, while you may have learned your lesson, they have no reason to believe you until they see proof, so give them time and forgive them their attitude until you've shown your capable.
     
  23. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    i was venting....i didn't want sympathy but more advice.
     
  24. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    That's good, but there's two ways to deal with a financial deficit: cut expenses or raise income, you're going the raise income route

    if you could post your expenses and such, we could help you also lower your expenses, and you can get into the black much faster and easier
     
  25. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    i could break it down....i did a budget thing before moving. its a big write up tho...so i'll have to do it later.
     

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