who here has experience with domestic violence

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Yuppy, Mar 3, 2008.

  1. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2007
    Messages:
    12,589
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    THE Hawkeye Nation
    women: have you ever been hit close fisted?
    Have you hit your man close fisted?
    What precipitated it?

    men: have you ever hit a woman close fisted?
    have you ever been hit close fisted from a SO? how did you react?

    Both: Was that the end of the relationship? did you deal with it? was it your fault or theirs?

    the opinions of someone who doesnt have a girlfriend/boyfriend or wife/hubby really dont matter since well they dont have any experience.
     
  2. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2006
    Messages:
    4,153
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chicago, IL
    I haven't but I can tell you about my parents.

    My mom has hit my dad closed fisted, cut his lip with her ring. My dad only hit her open hand and flung her across the room. I was 8 at the time so I don't remember exactly what the argument was about, but it had something to do with my dad borrowing money from a female friend and not telling my mom about it. There were a few other instances but I did not actually see the fight at those times. They are still together and things are much much calmer between them.

    From my perspective at the time it felt like it was all my dads fault, but looking back I realize my mom had a big part in it as well.
     
  3. Mugen92GS-R

    Mugen92GS-R New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2003
    Messages:
    20,543
    Likes Received:
    0
    Never hit a girl, never been hit by a girl.

    If I was hit by a girl, I would restrain her. Not hit her.
     
  4. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    65,644
    Likes Received:
    489
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
    This will not end well.

    Anyways, my experience with domestic violence:

    About a year ago, I took the car my ex-wife was driving off her ass because she was driving it with NO insurance and the car had my name on the note making me liable for any damage she might have caused.

    So, for the following few weeks I had to cart her and the kids around (i did it for the kids, not her). On a sunday night, I discovered that she had a car and that she was hiding that fact from me just to make me drive all over the country.

    So I had the kids with me when I found out, so I called her at work and told her that SHE was picking up the kids that night (keep in mind, this was at a time when I wasn't thinking of the kids before myself and my pettiness) and she said she couldn't because she didn't have a car and I told her about her lie and she hung up on me.

    So, I let my anger get the best of me and the one and only time I ever put the kids in the middle of our fighting, I took the kids up to her work, had the secretary call her down and as soon as she stepped off the elevator, I walked out (Yeah, I realized pretty quickly how wrong it was for me to put the kids in the middle of it--remember, this was a year ago).

    So, anyways, I go out of town and on my last night out of town, she calls me and told me that she filed a domestic violence case against me. And then she tells me that she'll withdraw it if I agree to take the kids EVERY weekend, instead of getting them every other weekend and a couple nights during the week. I say no, that I'd rather get them a couple nights a week, then every weekend. So she hangs up on me and files the domestic violence case.

    When I get home, at about midnight a cop shows up at my door and serves me the papers (which he even told me that it looked like complete bullshit to him) and when I read the papers it turns out she lied and said that I left them alone in the lobby and that she had the secretary as a witness.

    So, I ended up not being able to see my kids for two weeks until we got into court where she agreed to drop the case if we set up custody while we were there.

    But yeah, I don't think that's considered domestic violence (my lawyer told me that it wasn't), but that's my experience with it. Apparently, according to the cop who served me the paper, they hand them out like candy and take every situation seriously, no matter how much of a crock of shit it is. I was told not to go around her or the kids and not contact them in any way and if I had any guns in the house (I didn't) that I must surrender them immediately until the court hearing.

    I considered that night to be the lowest point in my life and the moment I hit rock bottom. It was the moment where I seriously considered suicide. But I also consider that night to be the night where I began to turn it all around. Because after sobbing my eyes out for hours on end, it suddenly became clear to me what I had to do. I had to put my kids above myself from that point on, and it was then that I stopped being the neglectful father than I was, and really began to pay attention to my kids.

    So, I consider it to be both the worst and the best experience of my life.
     
  5. ledzep73

    ledzep73 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2005
    Messages:
    6,868
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Louisville
    What spurred this thought process, and what experience do you have with it?
     
  6. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2004
    Messages:
    1,062
    Likes Received:
    0
    jesus christ viper your ex wife was a cunt. i hope she dies a horrible and painful and very slow death
     
  7. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    4,994
    Likes Received:
    0
    There was a LOT of domestic violence in my home growing up.
    I have never been hit by a SO
    I punched my ex in the face once, its the only time i've ever been violent since scraps with my brother as a kid. It was when I found out he had been hiding a drug habit, possibly exposing me to STDs, making me support us both so he could by drugs, etc. I absolutely regret resorting to violence.
     
  8. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2002
    Messages:
    59,945
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Go Dodger Blue!
    that sucks that you can get your guns taken away just from a bullshit DV report. :hs:
     
  9. CaiWooBlue

    CaiWooBlue New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2007
    Messages:
    371
    Likes Received:
    0
    Violence does not occur in our home. If it did it would be immediate cause for separation and this was agreed on before we got married. There is a reason why.

    My husband grew up in a very abusive home. His step dad and mom were usually drunk and kicking the shit out of each other. Bad enough that there were broken bones, overnight hospitalizations, dfcs visits, ect. They had 4 kids and the only one of the kids that was abused was my husband, cause he was the son(has three sisters) and he was a MAN and should always know better than doing whatever it was that he must have done. He has fucking scars on his back from being hit by a 2x4 when he was ten years old and no one did or said anything, not even his mom, who was in the same room, drunk on the couch. DFCS would look the other way who knows why, but they were never in trouble. Husbands mom would lie to them, the doctors whatever, worried her she would have her beer money cut off and she cared more about herself getting hurt than her own child.

    She has admitted that to me, by the way.

    My husband worries that this is the sort of person that he will turn out to be. I don't feel it would happen, but I understand his concern. Because of this though, he never resorts to violence. I shoved through him while he was in a doorway once when i was angry and wanted out of the room, and he still hasnt forgiven me for that.

    We argue. We are married. It happens, but if we get so angry that we want to hit, we walk away.
     
  10. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2002
    Messages:
    59,945
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Go Dodger Blue!
    I got beat up pretty bad as a kid and I go to great lengths to not be like my dad. I've been hit a few times by an ex. She felt out of control and went berserk. I remember feeling extremely disappointed at her because when I faced issues of losing control I never resorted to violence.
     
  11. CaiWooBlue

    CaiWooBlue New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2007
    Messages:
    371
    Likes Received:
    0
    He says he feels the same way if we even get in to big of a shouting match, and disappointed in both of us.

    Which is something that we never do in front of of child. We have stopped mid raised voice argument when we realized he had woken up. (we weren't so loud we WOKE him up, our arguments aren't like that).
     
  12. Killwhitneydead

    Killwhitneydead OMG! I HAS TEH VAGINAA!!11 LEG HUMPZORZZ!!??

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2008
    Messages:
    1,531
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Klamtucky, Oregon
    I was in a horribly abusive relationship for a long time.
    The relationship actually started out amazing, then slowly after time, he grew hateful and very angry. He started out just pushing me, then it escalated to punching and choking.

    I don't really know why, but I couldn't leave him. Basically, he's the one who ended the relationship. The reason why is because our last fight that we had, he ended up giving me a concussion and I ended up breaking his nose and three of his ribs.

    Abusive relationships are tricky, but I learned alot from that one and know to never allow myself to be subjected to that again.
     
  13. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2007
    Messages:
    12,589
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    THE Hawkeye Nation
    what did you hit him with?
     
  14. NCS

    NCS Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2002
    Messages:
    5,777
    Likes Received:
    0
    make peace with your dark side. yes, im serious.
     
  15. NCS

    NCS Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2002
    Messages:
    5,777
    Likes Received:
    0
    sweet. you whooped some ass.

    i chuck norris roundhouse kicked my partner once

    actually its really sad to hear all of this, but curiosity brought me in this thread. i still dont quite get how you can stay in an abusive relationship. one of my buddies dated a girl who was in one and she returned to her very abusive ex...
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2008
  16. Osiris^

    Osiris^ Creepy as fuck son OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2007
    Messages:
    4,564
    Likes Received:
    31
    Location:
    Earth
    my bet is he was

    a) awesome in bed
    b) had a huge cock
    c) both of the above
     
  17. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2007
    Messages:
    12,589
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    THE Hawkeye Nation

    probably neither. actually. I would venture to guess at the time thought she deserved it for whatever reason
     
  18. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2005
    Messages:
    124,888
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Kc
    only in bed
     
  19. kiri

    kiri New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2006
    Messages:
    25,186
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Miami, FL
    never. any sign of physical violence and i would peace the fuck out of that relationship.
     
  20. mavfan1

    mavfan1 Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2004
    Messages:
    5,325
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Paradise
    use a bag of oranges or a dowel on the bottom of her feet so no bruises























    i kid, i kid...
     
  21. Aronomy

    Aronomy Get your COME ON!

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2006
    Messages:
    1,797
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Clemente, CA
    I hit women during sex and not during sex.
     

Share This Page