SRS Which of these reasons would fit my situation?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by EBK, May 29, 2008.

  1. EBK

    EBK Hate hippies & hadjis

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    [Thursday, 5-22-08] I meet up with my girl @ some frozen yogurt place to eat and walk around. We have some fun time behind a STAPLES store in the loading dock. Everything is good until she gets a phone call and says, "oh shit" and turns it over. I ask who was it she goes "no one" so, expecting her reaction, i grab her phone and she goes crazy trying to get it back. I bring up the subject of her ex whom she broke up with 2 months ago (length ive been seeing her) she says she doesn't 'talk to him anymore'. We get back on track and eventually leave separately in our cars. She texts me "drive safe mister" and I reply, "are u home yet?" -- she responds yeah

    Fast foward when I'm chillin with my boys and she messages me "heather is going to get us tickets for Disneyland sat, ok?" -- i said ok and that I'm at some friends' house. she says things like "you're not gonna be able to push me away because I already miss you too much" and finally "Ok just text me when you get home, don't forget!" I get home around 2am and text her I'm home. she says sweet dreams & good night. I don't respond and eventually fall asleep within minutes. I wake up to a text Friday morning with "I was hoping for you tell me what you wanted to do to me in the dark, but I figure I'd just let you show me instead" 10 minutes recieved after the sweet dreams one (2:03 am)

    I respond and say something like good morning. Normally she texts me every day for mostly stupid reasons but I love em. Nothing until today (6 days later).
    Friday we did not talk, nor Saturday or Sunday. Morning night I left her a voicemail. Nothing. Tuesday morning @ 3:44am I send her a text "I hope i dont wake u, but i want u to know i miss u". Nothing. I leave a voicemail eariler today around 12 expressing my concern.. she replies with a text an hour later:

    "Hey stranger! I hope you're doing good. I've been super busy job searching and stuff. I can't wait for Disneyland on sat. See u then k. Take care :)"

    Shes on summer break for her university plus her family moved to a different city 20 mins away. So she had to quit her previous job of four years. I've been trying to factor these occurences in.. But then I look on her MySpace today and see her ex-boyfriend who lives in the same city as the one she moved to BACK on her "Top 8" when he was removed when they broke up.At this point I'm furious and reply to her text "Nah Im not going" and send another one, "Delete my fucking number and throw away the cd" (I made her request mix cd about 3 weeks ago). She hasn't responded

    What the fuck is going on? Did the EX jump back in the picture (because of their circle jerk crew) or because I "ignored" her 2am text of wanting to get freaky.

    I'm sorry for the long post but I haven't been in a relationship longer than 2 weeks for many years (thanks 'United States Army'). Would appreciate your perspective of why she stopped talking to me and what was her reason for her text today
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    wow, what a trainwreck.

    Basically, you overreacted a ton...

    You just showed her "OMG, I'm insanely insecure! You got 1 call from your ex and he's back on your myspace and omg you must still want him! Don't call me again!"

    Don't make excuses or lie about why you sent the text. Accept that you overreacted and may lose the girl for it, and work on improving yourself.

    And buddy, you can drive yourself nuts if you start to read into every little thing someone does on a Myspace or facebook.
     
  3. Carl Brutananadilewski

    Carl Brutananadilewski Active Member

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    Gonna have to go against the grain and take "She's fucking around with another guy" for $200, Alex.

    However, I am currently very bitter about the subject of women, so keep that in mind.

    I would say, due to her being secretive, she is hiding something (I am Captain Obvious :hsugh: ). Either you from someone, or someone from you. While you may have overreacted a bit, I say move on. Don't take shit from women, because 99% of them have no fucking idea what they want, and they'll never tell you directly whether you're doing something wrong or not.

    There are plenty of fish in the sea.
     
  4. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    did you have sex with her?
     
  5. Dodger Blue

    Dodger Blue OT Supporter

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    Do you know how the relationship was between your g/f and her x? Why did they break up? If they broke up because of problems and she never said anything good about him and pretty much said she'd never talk to him again it sounds like she still has feelings for him. But maybe they broke up because they were better off not seeing each other because it woudln't work out and now they are just friends.

    She could also be doing this to make you jealous since you didn't speak to her for awhile but probably not the case.

    If I wore in your shoes I'd be worried too because of the cell phone thing but I wouldn't have ripped it out of her hands. Girls don't like that shit.

    But like previously said the only answers you're going to get is from her personally. You need to talk to her in person. Forget this text message and online shit. That ruined my last relationship. You can never know the tone of a person online or text. I also screwed up my lats relationship by not talking to her for a few days because of a disagreement. That's not good early in a relationship.

    But talk to her in person and tell her what's going on in your head. Tell her you're confused as to why he's back in her life (if you feel there are reasons why you'd never think he would be).

    You'll feel better one way or the other if you find out answers because it will keep you from making assumptions in your head which can cause you to go crazy. Most of these assumtions aren't going to be true but it's still in your head.

    But also tell her you overreacted with the get out of my life thing.
     
  6. Dodger Blue

    Dodger Blue OT Supporter

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    I wanted to add this. Has she been in longterm relationships before? A lot of times when girls have been in very long relationships they don't put too much into relationships that are only months/weeks in. So maybe she has been in a 2 year relationship. Well, your 2 months isn't shit compared to that. I've been in the same situation. So you're faced with different issues that may come up.

    One, its way early for her so she may ignore certain things like texting you back or calling you and not thinking much during that time you guys didn't speak. Then she suddenty brings up, hey stranger can't wait for Disney land comment. Because to her she's wanting to take it slow in sense and the pace you're at is fine for her. She might want her space and privacy.

    Now, i'm not saying this is the case and it probably isn't. But just know that if you're not that experienced in long term relationships you'll be at a different level than somebody is and I'm sure she's probably been in one. So you both will see things different. But then again, I don't know anything about her. Just bringing this up.
     
  7. EBK

    EBK Hate hippies & hadjis

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    Yeah I know I overreacted. I'm just an angry person
    I called her up last night and left another voicemail explaining 'why' thoroughly like seeing her calling me "stranger" as if I'm not making attempts to contact her and this is what happens via text:

    Her: "hey i jus heard ur vmail...no hard feelings. bout dc being on my myspace..i nevr took him off. I didnt add him on recently.. its been like that since aftr the party"

    me: "What about u not responding to me over the weekend?"

    her: "I was hella busy till monday..u know that chris!"

    me: "what about tuesday? u used to text me everyday and u got me used to it. thats why im being so concerned n thought u were ignoring me"

    her: "Its not even like that...i just had a crazy weekend cause school got out and got super tired and then i was busy applying to jobs"

    me (8:18 pm): "when u say things like 'promise' n 'really want to see u next week' and then dont make an effort to how do u expect me to react?"


    She hasnt even responded yet. and yes she's been in a long relationship before -- 2 years that ended in March @ a party I threw at my cousins -- he was very abusive and she got jealous quite a few times when she would call and hear girls in the background. he shoved her infront of my cousins house.. she almost ate shit and I should have ran up to that chump and gave him an asphault nap

    i really want to believe that she's busy applying to jobs and being super busy. But I just have some gut doubt. i mean ive seen her when shes busy and she still manages to text me or call me. I dont even know where her family moved to street-wise and I know i have to talk to her in person which makes it hard. i think im going to go raw next time and leave my seed in her, that should clear things up
     
  8. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    cripes, you might as well just break up with her now.

    How old are you two?
     
  9. EBK

    EBK Hate hippies & hadjis

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    I'm 26 and she's 21

    I mean i'm out of the military now so im trying to get a relationship started. so i want this to work out as much as possible
     
  10. Dodger Blue

    Dodger Blue OT Supporter

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    21 is a tough age to date a girl. I'd prefer 23 and up because they've experienced that 21 stage where they can finally get into bars legally etc..

    I agree it doesn't take much to send a simple text "hey just wanted to say hi" or something. Girls love assholes so she probably still has feelings in a way for this guy especially if he has contacted her saying he's changed.
     
  11. EBK

    EBK Hate hippies & hadjis

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    Yeah I know that. I'm usually the asshole in the relationship but her best friend is my cousin so she advised the opposite
     
  12. eXyle

    eXyle ׂ

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    this is all speculation on my part, but maybe you were just a rebound. 2 months is a pretty short time to get over a 2 year relationship and jump into a new one, especially at 21.

    as a rebound, it could be that the fizzle is just gone as she's starting to recall her past relationship and begin to actually deal with it. girls who cut off all contact with the ex and then start a new relationship quickly seem to just be escaping the issue rather than dealing with it. unless you have her riding high the whole time, there will be that moment where she finally allows herself to think about the ex and then things come crashing down for you.

    at this point, i would simply apologize for your behavior and suggest that it would be best if you two spent some time apart or just pursued a friendship. she needs to deal with this ex issue in a constructive manner and until she does so, your chances for a solid relationship are slim.
     
  13. Frito

    Frito New Member

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    myspace isn't really a reliable source to end a relationship
     

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