where to get help, these issues are just self esteem stuff

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by quamen, Oct 27, 2006.

  1. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    Just broke up with the ex for a few reasons like:

    She deletes her incoming/outgoing calls on her phone.

    After she put swinger on her myspace thing,when she was in a relationship i told her about it. She switched it and then set it to private so i can no longer see it.

    compared me to her ex about dick size as if she didnt feel me.

    had her ex calling her multiple times when we were together or alot of other guys calling all the time.

    told me explicit details about her sexual past history


    these are minor issues that most say and some say no. but i believe i have some self esteem issues and i need help before i can get into a successful relastionship. btw im 24 she was turning 20;.
     
  2. Daddy O

    Daddy O Active Member

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    Sounds to me like she is the one with the problems. She appears to be more sexually extroverted than you, and she knows it, thus she berates you about dick size, her strong appetite for sex, etc.

    Any woman that hides things from her SO is not the right person for a relationship. My advice is to move on and if you still feel the deisre to talk to someone, find a counselor to discuss these issues with....and I would suggest a female counselor (they know more about how women think). You might want to start on this site...

    http://www.find-a-counselor.net/default.htm
     
  3. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    the only thing that would have indicated self esteem issues was staying with a shady ho like that.

    She was waaaaaay out of line man. those arn't minor issues, those are major. very major. you did what anyone with some self respect would do and refused to accept such poor behavior and moved on to find someone who will treat you better.
     
  4. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Your best bet...spend some time concentrating on you and your life. You are worried about getting your self esteem up before your next relationship....dont even think about your next relationship. Just worry about life, worry about your career, worry about making a success of yourself. While you are taking care of all that, the right one will come along and SHE will boost your self esteem higher than you ever could.
     
  5. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    qft.

    Forget about this woman. Realize that YOU are the problem not her. Which is good, because you can't change what she does, but you can damn sure change what you do.

    Try to figure out how you got to a point that you were willing to date such an unsuitable woman, and make sure not to repeat those mistakes in the future.
     
  6. [DWI]

    [DWI] Master of Nothing

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    none of the things you said indicate a self esteem problems with you, maybe a self esteem problem with her, but definately a problem with her. Leaving her was a good thing and it shows you still care about yourself and you know you deserve better than that.

    That being said you may have a self esteem issue, but it would have been created by her. I mean think about it if some one were to treat anyone like that they might get to thinking "what did I do to deserve this" aand things along those line. What you need to realize is that how she treated you should be no indication of what you or anyone else should think of you.

    That being said it is not like you can just flip a switch and bam you are perfectly fine. If you just broke up with her this AM or last night. well the the first week is always the hardest, but even more so is the first weekend. What I would do if I were you is keep yourself busy this weekend try and surround yourself with buddies just go do something you don't have to say a word about her (though I have found talking to friends about it until you are actually bored of it seems to help alot with getting over it all) but if you can't find anyone I've also found project from putting away cothes to playing with an ax and chainsaw help. Then after the first weekend it still needs to be about youso do things taht will help you that varies frm person to person. Last time for me I took up a new hobby that I had been thinking about and also started a new exercsie program.

    Try not to do what everyone does and blame themselves for everything, from what you have told us she had some serious trust issues and didn't seem to value you too much. Its not so much you need help with your self esteem, as with gettn over her. Once she is dead and gon you will be fine.

    Hang in there man.
     
  7. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Wow, those are BEYOND major. Huge!

    You just gave every example of what I tell guys to avoid. Good riddance to her, you will be MUCH better off! :big grin:
     
  8. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    My ex did some of the same things...Although she didn't give me explicit details about her sexual history but she did give me details about it.

    And she also told me once both of her ex's wore magnum's which was really a pisser. I should have gotten pissed over it but i didn't.

    The whole myspace thing would have pissed me off though and especially if she was gettin calls/texts from other dudes
     

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