where all my short people at

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by driftwell, Jul 24, 2007.

  1. driftwell

    driftwell New Member

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    I need your guys' help

    I thought I was over this insecurity... but I'm beginning to realize that I'm not.

    Quick background info:

    - I'm 5'4" - 5'5"
    - filipino
    - have been told numerous times i'm a pretty stocky guy who just by looking at me... you can tell i go to the gym.

    I just effin hate being short. I feel like the world automatically disqualifies me due to my height. All of the successfuly people I know of personally, or read about are tall. I don't know of ANY girls who would consider a guy shorter than she is. All the short girls i know are either interested in, or are already with a tall guy.

    Some people, not all... treat me inferiorly and think they can get away with certain things just because i'm short.

    This past weekend at the club, I went to this new place with a different crowd (aka a place where everyone was exceptionally taller than me). And I have never felt so miniscule, so irrelevant, and so ... i don't even know the word... in a long time. Basically... I had a bunch of tall dudes cut in front me... "you don't mind if we cut in front of you right?" and gives me a pat on the shoulder. Typical frat assholes. (I was by myself meeting up with some friends) and I knew I didn't stand a chance to these guys. What's a short guy to do in this situation?

    I go to get a drink at the bar... and basically the same shit... people shoving me outta the way, etc... and I'm not really one to make a scene. Perhaps I should have, I dunno. But it's been a bunch of shit like that and just general observations in life that has me insecure about my shortness again. I was over it... or at least thought I was over in the past when i started working out and putting on some muscle.

    Maybe this past weekend just sent me over the edge... but now I just don't know how to get over this insecurity.

    Anyone have any suggestions?
     
  2. kdizzle59

    kdizzle59 New Member

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    the only thing i can tell you is stand up for yourself more. you cant help that your short. dont make a scene, it just makes you look like a dumbass. just let the people bothering you know that its BS for what they are doing.
     
  3. Leftychang

    Leftychang OT Supporter

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    hm dont feel so insecure about it. im on the opposite spectrium being a tall asian everyone looks at me like im a freak and calls me yao ... you just gotta get over it. in terms of girls, some girls like tall guys, some like short guys ... u just gotta be happy with yourself and it will really show through.

    as for the frat bro dudes pushing you out of the way like that ... in ur situation there was nothing to do but take the high road and not stoop to their level. if u had some homeys i wouldnt let them do that. dont escalate to a fight, but dont just back down like that

    the bar really is an interesting social scene
     
  4. sophocles

    sophocles New Member

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    heres the issue
    you cant fight everyone but you cant look like sometime to step over
    they probably pulled that shit because you looked a tad insecure so they knew they could get away with it, especially in a group
    im on the short side 5-7 or 5-8 last time i checked
    heres the thing i prefer tall girls. i honestly like the 2 metre blondes
    just be cool with it man, yuo cant change it so you have to accept it
    dont joke about it awkwardly, if someone says something somewhat pointed ill just laugh and say well shorter limbs are better for weightlifting so i like it
    and if they say something about a girl ill be like no worries i could climb up that lol

    personality makes up for a lot of it though
    people who i live with were having a discussion about people who once you know them dont seem short, i came up on the list lol dominant personality is associated with height and strength

    just sit and get in touch so you dont care about it
    once you actually dont care, you can be authentic and it wont rattle you when someone makes a joke etc
    i used to get real riled, but i learned and no worries these days, i will approach a tall girl, i might not be her ideal height, but i can talk which is not something everyone is born with

    i was with a taller friend and made the comment that some guy has a hot girl cause hes tall he was like wtf man are you retarded

    make the same comment with a short friend and he will agree and share stories

    its like being bald, nobody cares as much as you
     
  5. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    They make shoes for guys that discreetly add height. I think Style, the famous PUA, is 5'5 or 5'6" and he consistently dates beautiful women that are taller than him.
     
  6. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    There's also a surgery that I've heard of some Asians getting where they break your legs or something and put spacers in to make you taller. I would assume it hurts like hell and has an insanely long recovery time, and it probably makes you look funny and deformed afterward. I can't remember the name of it but I'm sure google would help.

    I'm not recommending it, just mentioning it. Here's an article. Sounds like ouch to me:

    http://www.danwei.org/internet/height_extending_surgery_in_th.php
     
  7. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    its not your physical stature thats the problem

    its your body language communicating to them that they can do this to you and get away with it
     
  8. essejgnad

    essejgnad poopty pangts

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    5'6 Asian checking in.

    It's defiantely not always about height, my last girlfriend was 5'9, then she liked to wear 3 inch heels.. so yeah. It was kinda weird walking around next to her, but my height didn't matter.
     
  9. hellyea2650

    hellyea2650 New Member

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    i know a guy who is 5'6 200 pure muscle stocky kind of guy. He gets more ass then anyone I know and alot of them are 5'9+ girls
     
  10. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    One guy who I know that is GREAT with women, is 5'6". I never really thought of him as short because he has a lot of presence. Definitely one of the most confident guys I've ever met.
     
  11. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    5'3" guy here.

    I looked at those heightening shoes, but in our case adding two inches is kinda like a band-aid on a gut shot. Just don't see the point. (Besides all the ones I was looking at were FUGLY)

    It's likely that social conditioning from being short in the first place has made you a bit timid, non-confrontational, submissive. I have this attitude ingrained in me as well. BUT being short doesn't have to be a handicap unless you allow it to be. What you need to change is your self-image. Let go of all that self-defeating thought and inferiority complex. If people make fun, have a reply that shows them it doesn't bother you. etc. And don't just let people be inconsiderate dicks to you just because you look insignificant (I don't mean pick fights, just don't be a doormat)

    Girls may say they wouldn't date a short guy, but that's not something to go on. They are picturing "some random average joe guy who is short vs. some random average joe guy who is 6' tall." They are not picturing "some guy who happens to be a short mofo but is super cool and a great conversationalist and makes them laugh vs. every other ordinary 5'11" boring doofus." There are preferences, and there are deal killers; deal killers are rare, and preferences aren't hard to overcome. So don't sweat it.
     
  12. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Careful of appearing to have Napoleon syndrome.
     
  13. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    That's just a synonym for "try-hard" that also means you're short.

    Don't be try-hard (or an arrogant twat) and you won't appear to have a Napoleon complex.
     
  14. verbs

    verbs New Member

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    First of all who gives a fuck about a bar, it's all a meatmarket anyway, and you don't need to worry about picking up on women unless you want a one nighter.

    Two, women who date shorter men exist. Trust me. Here's me and my g/f of 1.5 years.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]



    My advice? Grow some balls, show some confidence, and be more outgoing. Personality, being outspoken, extroverted, etc will make you seem bigger than you are. Sure you are at an overall disadvantage, but you can do some things to make you look more appealing.

    You go to the gym, so get cut. Get some nice clothes, good cologne. Take care of how you look.

    Look good and carry a big stick. End of story. :)
     
  15. verbs

    verbs New Member

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    That's me in a nutshell, and I'm about 5'6." Having a presence makes you seem larger than you really are. The OP will never have that without confidence and insecurity.
     
  16. nygiantplaya

    nygiantplaya I

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    im a lil 5'5 italian kid... i know exactly how you feel.. everyone thinks they can walk all over you because your short/inferior to them, just dont be so nice to them when they do it

    . why should you be the nice guy and let them cut when they were just being assholes and basically telling you they are cutting you and not asking.

    as for girls honestly i would never date a girl taller than me, it would just feel weird so the girls i find attractive is very small since most girls are about my height. one thing that fucking pissed me off so much that happened yesterday accualty is some girl at my work, shes really hot and we flirt all the time. she was talking to some kid at work and i was obviously listening in on the convo while i was working and shes 5'0. she said well idk what it is but i love tall guys.. i think all my bfs where 6feet or taller.

    girls want somone masculine that while protect them. and basically its viewed that a masculine man is put in the same catergory as somone who is tall. they want the tall guy because he just comes off as more masucline, idk but its a bunch of gayyyyy.. this also gives me so much problem, because most girls wont even think of being attracted to me since im short and you RARELY get a initation attraction.. fuck tall people
    oh yea someone said this kid had short syndrome, because he was obssesed with working out. The kid i guess is 5'4 but fucking jacked, going out with a 5'9 girl..

    I kinda guess its a misconception because when im at the gym, one of my buddies i met there is honestly prolly 5'2-3 but hes fucking buff as hell.. from a distance he looks taller than me, i go stand next to him and hes really short..

    I guess Get jacked and you'll look taller and more masculine?


    oh btw... lugz boots give you like 2 inches :big grin:
     
  17. Balzak

    Balzak New Member

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    LOL, advice taken!
     
  18. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    Your biggest problem is not your height..... It is the lack of confidence and insecurity asssociated with the height.

    This is the way you are man, no sense in being sad/angry about it all the time. Best thing you can do is just accept it, look for the positives in it and start having more confidence in yourself.

    Besides, since your filipino, you should focus on going for filipina girls who are typically short anyways. I am white, but my last 2 g/f's were filipina and under 5' 4"..... Which works out well for me since I am only 5' 8"-5' 9"
     
  19. DarkAngel19

    DarkAngel19 New Member

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    Okay, my opinion is that first, you shouldn't try to fake your height, which I think you know already. It's the same theory of women wearing gel inserts in their bras, you think you're getting one thing and you get another... it just adds negativity to a situation that doesn't need any.

    Second, you have to change your attitude, which you know, and if you can't change it overnight (and let's face it, who can?) you have to pretend for a while. After a while of being more outwardly confident than you are inwardly, you will start believing in it while you are changing your attitude inside.

    I had to get over a similar thing that made me insecure around all other women as well. After I was very sick with anorexia/bulemia for a long time, all my hair fell out chemo-therapy style. I didn't have enough money for wigs so I wore a lot of hats and just had to accept it. There are worse things in life, it's cliche, but there's a reason people say it all the time. Thank goodness I didn't really have cancer, right? I could grow into accepting and healing my problem. So can you.

    While my hair grew back but you will most likely not grow taller, your attitude and the way you see life will have to change, and with it, the way other people see you will change as well.

    Good luck!

    DA
     
  20. Original

    Original OT Supporter

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    One word of advice.. don't bulk up! Don't get me wrong.. it's better to have muscle rather than being a puny skinny kid.. but the bigger you get, the shorter you'll look. :hs:

    I think me being short puts a huge damper on my luck with women, but most of it's probably in my head.. i'm just not a ladies man to begin with.

    It hasn't prevented me from being successful with anything else, at all! I've been told that I seem a lot taller than I really am because I carry my head up high and I'm always proud of what I do.

    My height will probably always bug me but who really cares? Life's short, there's no time to waste worrying about things that can't be changed :hsd:

    5'4" by the way :wavey:
     
  21. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    my question, being 6'0", is where are all the taller girls? i mean, you guys sort of have it easier because you can actually fuck most girls in the shower or standing up without like propping her up on something.
     

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