SRS When your life sucks- venting

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Anticipate, May 14, 2007.

  1. Anticipate

    Anticipate New Member

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    Hi, please don't attack me for the following, as I am venting, not looking for advice, and after all this is the asylum anyway.
    I realize that my life utterly sucks. I couldn't make it through grad school, have been through job after job that hasn't worked out. Am now unemployed. I hate my parents and my sisters, they all treat me like a piece of dirt. I don't have any friends that I can trust, all of my so-called "friends" look down on me because of my past. Every time I go out with a guy, he isn't interested in me. Basically I feel like a worthless piece of shit.
     
  2. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    yea i used to feel lik taht...............im sooo sorry but u hafta make it somhow theres always a better way what yours is i dunno i hope to meet ppl lik u so i can help them liv a better life bcause at a time i wanted a better life as well (i guess still do in a way) so im always here to chat send me a message and i wont b a jerk and not respond but carry on a conversation lik i would with neone sooo theres always hope just remember that
     
  3. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    I feel for you. I'm not sure what advice to give (Though you didn't ask for any). I sort of had a simular childhood. Lived with my father, he would treat me like shit. Didn't have many friends but a few. I would get in alot of trouble and so on and was mostly disliked for being different.

    But all that gives you really thick skin. Gives you a weird sort of motivation to do something good with your life.

    Screw the people that gets you down and before long enough you will get real friends that care about you and work hard enough and you will be rewarded :)
     
  4. Anticipate

    Anticipate New Member

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    Hey, thanks for your kind words. Believe it or not, my teen years actually weren't that shitty. I had a bunch of female friends, although no boyfriend (but I don't think I was ready for one in any case).
    The shitty treatment only started when I got older, and my parents started favoring my little sister, and acting like I was "on my own" and shouldn't need their support anymore (I'm talking emotional, not financial).
    Unfortunately, this treatment has not given me thick skin, if anything it has made me more sensitive to hurtful behavior from others. It also does not give me motivation to do something with my life (I tried that, it failed :-(
     
  5. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

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    what types of things are you interested in?
     
  6. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Sounds like they are trying to help you grow up.

    Growing up can be very painful for late bloomers. I'm not sure if you are one but I sure as hell was. I watched in my early 20s as my friends graduated and moved on with their lives while I languished in college. I watched as their careers took off while I stayed in the same job as a waiter. I watched as they grew up but I grew more dependent on alcohol and other drugs.

    Back then I remember very clearly thinking why does everything have to change?? Why can't things stay the same?? I wasn't ready for the good ole college fun to end after only 4 years. I wasn't ready to enter the workforce. I seriously didn't know what I wanted to do with my life.....or so I thought.....I really did know I just didn't have guts enough to pursue it.

    Anyways, I dunno if you are a late bloomer like me or not. Everyone matures at different times and speeds. Be true to yourself, find out what motivates you and what you like or are interested in. Then follow those things. IMO being true to yourself is the only way to true peace and serenity. When you are true to yourself, you won't allow others to treat you so harsly.

    Anyways, good luck and hang in there. This too shall pass.
     
  7. Anticipate

    Anticipate New Member

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    I like music, art, acting, exercise. But none of those are realistic career-wise.
     
  8. Anticipate

    Anticipate New Member

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    Maybe so, but they've been doing this for the past five years and it hasn't been working.
    I know that I need to grow up, I just don't know how.

    I sort of hear what you mean, but moreso in terms of graduate school and marraige. I finished college at the same time as my friends, but then watched them all finish grad school, start their careers, and get married, while I was left getting kicked out of grad school, and not knowing what the heck to do with my life. It wasn't the normal finish school, ok now let me move onto the next stage of life.

    So what do you do now, if you don't mind if I ask? Also, how old are you? Just curious, I am 25. I like hearing from older and more experienced people.
     
  9. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    It's likely that they are continuing to act this way because:
    A) You don't have clearly defined boundaries and when they violate those boundaries, you keep quiet instead of calling them on it.
    B) They are controlling type people and will never listen to nor honor your requests for them to back off.
    C) You aren't doing it their way and they don't like that...yet you continue to ask for their assistance.

    IMO the only way to get them to back off is stop seeking their approval and when they cross your boundaries, you have to be firm in calling them on it and asking them to back off. If you are a "people pleaser" this will sound like the worst advice ever and my cause all sorts of fear in you. If so, I would encourage you to look at this people pleasing issue very closely as it's likely a root cause of much of your difficulty.
    Yes exactly. The specifics of my story aren't as important as the ideas behind them. The ideas of not wanting things to change, not knowing what to do next, how feelings of failure can be multiplied when comparing ones life to someone else, etc.
    I'm 40 and just graduated with my second degree. So let me fill in the gaps timewise.

    At about 26, I finally graduated from Uni. I somehow crammed 4 years of college into 8 years.....and yes...it was difficult but somehow I managed. :) Anyways, I started working for a friend of my brothers. It was a good job but not great. THen I got a job with a much bigger company and started learning about the Oil Business.

    This whole time, I still didn't have any clue about what I wanted to do when I grew up. After 4 years working for this company, I was miserable. I hated my job, hated my life and was very seriously considering moving far away or doing something drastic like going back to drinking (I'm an alcoholic and was sober about 4 years at this time).

    However, what I realized is that none of the cures would fix me. SO I began a most excellent inner journey. I wouldn't let myself quit my job till I had a VERY clear idea and plan for what I wanted to do and how to get there. I started educating myself and I tried on many different "careers". When I say I tried them on, I mean I really tried to picture myself in these careers and I researched what the reality them. This was fun work but it was essential to keep this all to myself so as to not incur the wrath of people that just didn't understand.

    So after this soul searching, I picked computers and started educating myself in what I was interested in. I would work all day (sometimes 12 hours) then come home and work on "my stuff". It was awesome but I knew at some point, I'd have to leave the company I was working for to pursue my dream. Funny thing happened tho, after 2 years of this kind of education, an opportunity opened up for me working with the company I was currently employed by. IN other words, they promoted me to the top computer job for the whole company.

    I only got to work in this job for a year but it was one of the best years of my life. I would regularly work 10-18 hours a day and would have to force myself to go home....I was simply having sooo much fun I didn't want to leave. Then when the company sold, I decided to continue working in this field, I'd need more education so I went back to Uni to pursue a CS degree. I just graduated with my second bachelor's degree in CS and I'm thrilled beyond belief to have this done.

    Right now I'm taking some time off and getting some personal affairs in order. I'm also interviewing for jobs and will likely go back to work soon.

    Sorry for the long post but my whole point is to find out what you like...what motivates you or interests you then pursue that. There is no such thing as a perfect job but deep seated unhappiness is an indicator of something. It may be an indicator of clinicial depression which may require drugs to help you get your life going again. It may be that you simply need to listen to your inner self because it's trying to help you. It may be that you need to make some difficult decisions that you've been postponing because of pain you associate with making these decisions.

    Whatever is causing your discomfort....listen to it becuase my experience has been that it's trying to help us.
     
  10. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    I can see how that would demotivate anyone. I see what they are doing now but I don't approve of their method. Like Coottie said, you should do yourself some research, find out what you could imagine yourself doing and be happy with. Make a plan and just do it. I think your motivation for this will grow larger as you progress forward

    And I'm 28, studying economics, work at my uncle's resturant and have classes in a sports center that I teach. I never had much of an education so I'm still catching up there.
     
  11. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Holy 2 year old thread batman.
     
  12. moneymoguls

    moneymoguls New Member

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    The only thing that matters is how you feel about yourself.

    You can't please everyone and don't even try. Be happy with the person you are. Everyone is different. That's a good thing.

    People will always have their own opinions about anything and everything. They are not right or wrong. It's just their interpretation.

    I don't care what people think about me. I do what I think is best and I'm happy with that.

    I strive to be the best person I can and that's all I can do.
     

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